Female advise on situation required please

[Mojo Raisin]

Hello

This is my first post here and I've registered as a couple of days ago I had a bombshell dropped on my by my girlfriend.

Background story - we met online on a website I had no faith in but missed the cancellation date on. I saw she had looked at my profile and thought I'd say hello and chat for a couple of days and that would be it but it turned out we had loads in common and really hit it off and we agreed to meet.

When we met there was instant chemistry and we got on like the proverbial house on fire and started dating. We both said that we felt as though we were supposed to meet and supposed to be with each other and I felt as though this lady was the one.

Everything was going brilliantly, her friends and family like me and things were excellent then out of the blue on sunday (it's now tuesday) she came over and said we needed to talk.

She said she felt as though the initial fireworks were missing and that she thought I felt the same as she hadn't heard much from me the previous week. The previous week I had been working nights so our days were out of sync but there was still contact but naturally not as much as if I had been working days.

We had spent three days together at the start of that week and she said she'd had a brilliant time but when she got home she felt as though she had been with a friend.

She says she still fancies me, I make her happy and she looks forward to seeing me but if those fireworks have gone then we shouldn't carry on.

The fireworks are still there for me and have never gone away and there was no suggestion they had for her either (until sunday at least).

She says she wants things to work out between us but if the fireworks aren't there...

What is frustrating me is if she says she wants it to work why will she not focus on that?

We have never had so much as a cross word and we connected in every way, physically and mentally and I was feeling as though I wanted to tell her I loved her which admittedly after 4 months may be a tad quick but that is how I was feeling and thought she was feeling the same.

I don't want to mention this and sound like an idiot misogynistic bloke but she has said she can very hormonal so I'm not sure how much of a factor this is, although her time of the month was the week before this all happened. I work with a lot of women and those I have spoken to all mentioned the same without prompting so I'm curious as to how much of a factor this may be.

There will be more that I've missed but I have to go to work so will update anything when I get there.

Thoughts please?

I really don't want to lose this woman

[tassy]

Tell her you really dont want to lose her!!! Yes maybe her hormones do have a lot to do with her thinking that the fireworks have fizzled out maybe not but a lot of women get "funny" the week before their period. She may just be missing you and really need a little extra attention. It is up to you if you are wanting to put in a little more whenever she does feel this way. Sometimes in my opinion some men (and women too) find themselves focusing more on why the question is being asked or statement made by a loved one rather than what they are asking or saying, when one does this they then making it more about them and their feelings and less about the one who is trying to express their feelings, just my opinion but if you love her tell her!!! what have you got to lose? At least you will never regret not telling her how you really feel. Good luck I really hope it all works out for you both xx

[michelle23]

Its still early days in the relationship and perhaps she is thinking you are not compatible? The infatuation (the honeymoon period) could have worn off by now and she may be looking at you differently. If something goes wrong in the first year or too-it normally means it is doomed and you are just not compatible. Sorry to be blunt.

[Boisdevie]

Sometimes relationships don't work. That's part of life kiddo.

[Mojo Raisin]

Sometimes relationships don't work. That's part of life kiddo.

Appreciate the replies.

compatability is not an issue and there has genuinely been no problems whatsoever up to this point, this has really come out of the blue which is what is confusion me

[michelle23]

You should give her space. It is up to her. You cant force her to stay with you or to love you so just give her time and see what she decides

[April999]

It sounds like she wants you to convince her to stay. She says she " wants it to work" ....Look embarrassingly enough I have done this with my current boyfriend. If I felt like I wasn't getting enough attention I would feel insecure and think he wasn't as interested. Just give her some attention and make her feel wanted. Some girls are just insecure like that. If it doesn't work after that then I would move on.

[Mojo Raisin]

So she's coming over tonight after I finish work.

She said "I guess we need to talk too don't we?"

I'm absolutely shitting myself.

The text exchange between us went as follows...

Her - I guess we need to talk too don't we?
Me- I'd like to yes
Her - Ok, so shall I come over on Sunday?
Me - I'm working til 8, you can come over after then if you like
Her - Well it's up to you? You're gonna be knackered then aren't you? (knackered means tired in english slang if you're not familiar with the term)
Me - I'd still like to see you
Her - Ok, well if I don't end up with the kids (she might have been babysitting) and your plans fall through for tomorrow (that being yesterday (saturday)) then I could come over then if that's better, if not then I'll come over Sunday
Me - Cool Let me know if you get de-kidded. If not I'll see you Sunday
Her - Okey dokey night night

The following day

Her - I'm on babysitting duty

The reason I've put this conversation up is because as I'm sure you can imagine I've been analysing and re-analysing and over-analysing it ever since.

I'm telling myself she wouldn't want to meet up just to repeat what she said last weekend and she wouldn't be putting happy smiley faces if she wanted to repeat what she said last weekend and she wouldn't be putting an unhappy face when she ended up babysitting if she didn't want to come over and she wouldn't have said "okey dokey night night " which is pleasant and nice if she wanted to say the same as last week

See what I said about over analysing?

I would like peoples thoughts though, how would you be feeling if you were me in this conversation?

as I said, I really want this to work out and I'm more nervous about her coming over tonight than I've ever been about anything