Confused and Hurt...

[fall]

Alright so I'm in high school (senior year) and I've liked this guy since last year. Last year, I was interested, but I honestly thought it was just a little crush and it wouldn't last. I was quite wrong!

The first year I was at the school (junior year, I had just switched schools), his friend came up to me and started making small talk. I looked over at the guy I liked, who was behind his friend, and he was bright red and basically looked like he wanted to run . I figured he was shy and nothing would really come of the crush.

The school year finished, summer comes and goes and I'm back on for my senior year. We have an orientation on our first day and he and I keep making eye contact. Over and over, I would look at him and he would look at me. I figured he must still like me and I was surprised to find I still liked him. Things escalated really quickly after that. We ended up having three classes together that term, so we saw lots of each other. In a few months my feelings went from "I like you a little" to "I like you a LOT". I'd never felt that strongly about a guy before and I was honestly shocked. We flirted lots, with body language and eye contact and smiles but we never actually talked. I was so shy and scared and I guess he was too? I overheard him talking to his friends about me lots, saying I was "so cute" and "sweet" just nice stuff like that all the time. He would also tell people that he wanted me, and that he wanted to take me places/do things. I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't approach me though, and it seemed like it scared him to have me close to him. One time I overheard his friend say he was "so insecure" and that he didn't like it that other guys in the school liked me.

Then terms changed, and we ended up have only one class together, and this began to cause problems. I have social anxiety, so it's hard for me to talk to anyone in school, especially him. But once terms switched I tried to start talking to people. I ended up talking to a few guys, with no intentions other than to be friendly, but I guess they (and the guy I like) thought otherwise. One guy I was talking to said something about me being his wife, jokingly, but still! Another guy said something about "getting it in". One guy touched me a few times (just poked my leg and touched my arm, nothing x-rated) I kind of blew all this off but the guy I like heard about it, and was pissed off. Normally he and I would make eye contact walking down the hallway, but this time he wouldn't even look at me. He wasn't calling me cute like usual and he didn't seem flustered around me anymore. I was really upset, since I honestly hadn't been trying to flirt with anyone, but I wasn't sure how to tell him, since we hadn't actually talked. I told one of my friends that I was going to sit next to him in class and he overheard, but I ended up getting scared and not doing it and he got even more hurt.

Eventually I gathered up my courage and decided to just go talk to him. I went over to him at break when he was with his friends and asked if I could talk to him. He seemed shocked but he agreed and I took him to the computer lab since I didn't think anyone would be there and I wanted to talk to him without anyone around. As we were walking to the lab he asked me what my name was. I was pretty shocked. I KNOW he knows what my name is, he's said it many times before. I told him and asked him if he didn't know, and he insisted that he didn't. He seemed really nervous though, and I was almost positive he was lying. The conversation was horribly awkward, which didn't really surprise me considering I'm not the greatest conversationalist but he seemed like he wanted to get away the entire time, and he acted like he had no idea who I was. I didn't actually get to tell him anything about liking him or not liking anyone just because I had no idea how to react to him acting like he didn't know who I was. After maybe five minutes he ended up leaving and I felt absolutely horrible. I was sure once we had a conversation everything would be okay, but I guess he was really hurt and angry. But I didn't actually DO anything (or I didn't mean to), which was the worst part.

After that I wasn't sure what to think anymore, this guy I had liked for months and begun to feel very seriously about acted like he didn't know who the heck I was, I felt like a complete idiot. The next day he was talking to his friends and just went "it was sooo awkward". I felt even worse, why couldn't he have been gentler? It was so hard for me to work up the courage to talk to him and it was like he didn't even care. In my next hour the guy who'd been touching me before touched my arm again and told me bra strap had fallen down and pushed it back up, this made me really uncomfortable but I was too shy to say it.

The guy I like heard about that too, as the next day was even worse. He was talking to his friend in the hallway and his friend whispered that he should just talk to me. The guy I like saw that I had overheard this, and started saying really loudly (so I would overhear) that this girl he didn't know came up and tried to talk to him and how awkward it was. He and his friend started to make jokes about it, but it was obviously fake. I was really hurt by this though, and I teared up a little in class. He saw that I was upset and said "f*ck" under his breath and kept staring at me. He eventually got up and tapped the back of my chair with his foot, and then walked behind me a few times. He sat back down but he was fidgeting a lot and his breathing was loud and it seemed like he was upset that he upset me.The rest of the day he kept asking about me (I overheard this in the hallway) and showing up where I was. The day after he was really nice again, called me cute over and over (under his breath), and seemed really nervous/flustered when I looked at him. He told his friends "I just want to hug her." He also said he was "a stupid ****."

While all this was going on, this other guy had started talking to me. He had an anxiety disorder like me and we started talking. Eventually he asked for a ride home, as he usually walked home and it was a long way. I didn't really want to give him one, but I felt bad for him and eventually agreed. He and I started walking out of school together (since we were getting into the same car) and I guess the guy I like saw this too.

Yesterday, the guy I like was really nice again, and at the end of the the guy I agreed to give rides to and I were walking out of school, I saw the guy I like and he saw me and started to fix his hair and looked nervous. He started walking ahead of me in the hallway and bumped into one of his friends who saw him and then me and started to elbow him while grinning at him. The guy I like pushed his friend away and kept walking, while I was walking behind him the guy I've been giving rides to said "Hey, it's valentine's day soon, isn't it?" and I said "oh yeah, it's on Thursday, right?" He overheard this and I guess he though it meant something was going on between me and the guy? Today at school one of his friends insulted me and he got pissed and insulted his friend, but then insisted he didn't like me and said "I get what she's all about."

Also, for some reason when guys talk to me at school they always think I'm flirting with them, which is not my intention at all, I just try to be nice and friendly. Unfortunately because of this people at school have branded me as a "slut" and he's overheard this and seems to believe it.

What do I do now? Why is he so sweet and acts like he likes me so much, and then is nasty? What's going on with him?

(sorry this was so long!)

[bearz]

I think he's just too shy and embarrassed in front of his friends for liking you. So when you come up in conversations, he pretends there is nothing and that he has no interest in you whatsoever. It's what kids that age do when they are with their buddies... acting all tough and cool. You catch him alone, and he's the really shy and sweet guy you know.

[ashley89]

yeah I agree with bearz, he is being immature because he changes how he acts around you vs around his friends. it goes back to the whole Danny Zucco and Sandy romance in grease where he loves her in private but acts like a dick in front of his friends. it isn't cool that he does this though regardless of whether or not he's trying to look cool in front of people. just think you're a senior in high school, soon you'll go off to college and meet a bunch of new people :]