He won't add me on Facebook?

[shortyrock]

I really do hate what this world has come to, having to worry about something so menial as Facebook, but I'm honestly curious about this one.

I have been talking to a guy, steadily, since the summer. We talk every day, have a great line of communication, and he seems very open and honest about everything. (Seriously, I often end up knowing what he's eating for dinner we talk so much and he is SO open about what he's up to). I'm coming out of a LT relationship, so we're just enjoying eachother and not rushing anything.

A few months ago, I reactivated my Facebook and mentioned it casually in a conversation. He replied, "I'd say add me, but people at work would talk."

We work together. He's friends with a few people from work on there, but generally, isn't friends with coworkers. I, being paranoid, think this is totally bogus. Automatically I thought - what does he not want me seeing? Who cares what "people at work would think"? There's nothing wrong with being friends with someone, and we're not "in a relationship"...so who cares?

Am I being nuts? He spends SO much time talking to me that I really doubt he has a girlfriend or something extreme. I'm guessing he just doesn't want me seeing any pervy FB flirting?

[michelle23]

if he wont ad you on facebook-hes hiding something. Forget him

[AnnaMayana]

I just think he just takes care more about the career, public opinion and etc than about his personal life. Maybe when he will understand what is more important for him he will change his mind. Actually you could just mention him that this is important for you, that you have all your best friends in a social network simply to stay in touch and it seems strange to you that he is afraid of adding you as a friend in fb.

[PradaChanel]

Whatever the reason, he doesnt want to add you to his personal business. If it was just about his career and he dont want people to know, why are others on fis facebook and not you? that could be the reason but it still seems a little suspect.

[pinktulips]

This is the ask a male forum, but I only see female replies. :/

[Wakeup]

^^ It doesn't take a male to answer her question. It's not gender based.

OP: My question to you is why are you wasting your good dating time sitting on a computer talking to him? This is a huge waste of your time by all accounts. If he won't even friend you on Fb because people at work might get the wrong idea, then what makes you think he'd actually date you? Get out of the house and be seen so that you can find someone that doesn't give a eff what people at work would think.

[madotnw_nihs]

I generally don't add people from work. After I leave the company, that's when I add them. I do like to keep work and personal separated as much as possible.

[bearz]

Don't use Facebook!

[surfhb2]

I don't blame him....he has a valid reason

Another reason FB can ruin relationship.....so upsetting to see something as trivial as Facebook getting in the way of human emotion.

Had a girl I was dating years back who started questioning some FB Post and replys....an argument started so I told her "fine! Ill delete my account". That was it with FB and me.

God! I can't even imagine the needless BS that must go on among the high school crowd!?

Bought the stock after the IPO fiasco and has paid off handsomely though

[romanticdate]

FB can really mess with your work life, so he may have a really good reason(in his mind) to not mess up his job by being friends with you. Not saying he's right, but he may think he's doing the "proper" thing. If you really like him, then talk to him more about it. Open communication is best.

[ashley89]

I had a guy do this to me, thought it was odd but came to find out the reason he didn't add me on FB was because he had a gf. probably didn't want me knowing, or thought if I saw that he had one I'd try to tell her he was hanging out with me or something. either way it shouldn't be too big of a deal but somehow FB is a huge part of most people's lives these days haha, as long as you're still talking on a regular basis and he acts cool in person I wouldn't worry too much about it!

[smackie9]

Stop basing your value to someone by whether they add you on FB or not....grow up dear it's just a website.

[smackie9]

IMO people who flaunt their relationship on FB is just cheeeeeezeeee. FB is the anti christ.

[Rowen]

Maybe I sound heartless, but why do you care???

Seriously, this is the problem with this whole technology boom and these social networking sites. There are more pieces of technology in existence on this Earth than human beings. People put their lives on these damn social networking sites and create drama. OP, it's just a site. Sometimes, whether we like it or not, what he said is the truth. If you're not on the same work level or in the same unit at work, it's also commonly thought to be inappropriate to add each other. I know it sounds crazy, but it works the same at my job. While I'm free to add coworkers I DIRECTLY work with every single day, I cannot add my supervisors or coworkers who work for another part of the hotel because it'd be labeled as inappropriate. If he feels this way, you need to respect it if you actually trust him.

Give him a chance with that trust. Who knows? Maybe you might land yourself a decent boyfriend.

Nevertheless, what we have to remember is that you can't very well tell until you trust him, unless he gives you clear indicators that you shouldn't trust him that is (like if he boinks a coworker, brags about it to the office, and then lies and says he slipped and fell into her). It's just a site.