Attracting like..

[searock]

Well, sure.

So you understand that what most people do, when they don't know a person yet, is to simply decide whether they would "do" them or not (and not rate them on a 1-10 scale of "attractiveness"). Good, you're making progress :-).

[michelle23]

Try to look for peoples good qualities also.

A friend of mine is really insecure and its like he expects a girl to be 100% PERFECT and there is no such thing. There could be an absolutely gorgeous girl standing in front of him and hed notice if she has an extra inch around her waste. This girl could be like 5"5 and weigh 120lbs but he'd still think shes fat.. crazy. I think he wants a girl that is anorexic tho but still wants her to have big boobs.

Or hed notice if a girl had one spot on her face or one of her teeth a little crooked first instead of all the great things about her.

Hes a bit of a twit obviously

[searock]

A friend of mine is really insecure and its like he expects a girl to be 100% PERFECT and there is no such thing. There could be an absolutely gorgeous girl standing in front of him and hed notice if she has an extra inch around her waste. This girl could be like 5"5 and weigh 120lbs but he'd still think shes fat.. crazy. I think he wants a girl that is anorexic tho but still wants her to have big boobs.

Or hed notice if a girl had one spot on her face or one of her teeth a little crooked first instead of all the great things about her.

Hes a bit of a twit obviously

Out of curiosity: does this friend of yours have trouble getting girls?

I'm just asking because the guys I've met who are extremely critical about girls' appearances were generally completely clueless re: dating and relationships, and were also very insecure. I think they use it as a sort of defense mechanism, it's like they decide that no girl is "up to" them so that they don't have to suffer if she doesn't want them.

[Love'sReject]

So you understand that what most people do, when they don't know a person yet, is to simply decide whether they would "do" them or not (and not rate them on a 1-10 scale of "attractiveness"). Good, you're making progress :-).

Lol, hooray. Wasted progress, I'm afraid..

[michelle23]

Out of curiosity: does this friend of yours have trouble getting girls?

I'm just asking because the guys I've met who are extremely critical about girls' appearances were generally completely clueless re: dating and relationships, and were also very insecure. I think they use it as a sort of defense mechanism, it's like they decide that no girl is "up to" them so that they don't have to suffer if she doesn't want them.

Hes my boyfriends best friend. He has trouble holding onto girlfriends. has been dumped 3 times in the past year and all he wants is to settle down but hes way too fussy. I think he wants a trophy wife to be honest. Hes big into his expensive cars too and is obsessed with money. I mean OCD lol

[ashley89]

Out of curiosity: does this friend of yours have trouble getting girls?

I'm just asking because the guys I've met who are extremely critical about girls' appearances were generally completely clueless re: dating and relationships, and were also very insecure. I think they use it as a sort of defense mechanism, it's like they decide that no girl is "up to" them so that they don't have to suffer if she doesn't want them.

I have a guy friend like this too! he comes off as if he has this huge ego and thinks of himself as really great looking when he isn't... he is only 23 and started balding a few years ago. his receding hairline has gotten so bad that it's pretty much halfway back now. I think it makes him really insecure so he tries to turn it around and act like he's hot and no one else is. he never had good luck with girls, had one girlfriend for a short while during high school and one a couple years after, but that was it. was single for a few years and had would always try to hang out/hook up/ask girls on dates and no one would. he would make all these comments about girls like not being enough "in shape" when they were perfect or just making rude comments in general. he finally got a girlfriend and they started dating a couple months ago but I think it's already going sour

[Love'sReject]

Geez, it's too bad about that guy; with slightly more favorable genetics, he wouldn't have a receding hairline and would thus easily be a real ladies' man. Broads otherwise DIG that kinda guy.

[michelle23]

This friend is alright looking. Its just his unrealistic expectations and fat phobias as well as ocd with what other people think that drives girls away.

Plus i dont think he has much empathy for others. Maybe a little narcastistic but tries to act as a "nice guy"

[searock]

Geez, it's too bad about that guy; with slightly more favorable genetics, he wouldn't have a receding hairline and would thus easily be a real ladies' man. Broads otherwise DIG that kinda guy.

Not really, no.

[michelle23]

Lol if u think girls like men who put them down, critcize everything about them, make them feel insecure about themselves and try to change everything about them-u still have a lot to learn about women.

If a bloke did any of the above with me-id just tell him to go and **** himself

[Love'sReject]

Here in 'Murrica, yeah: every broad crazy for a sharp-dressed douchey man!

[Love'sReject]

Lol if u think girls like men who put them down, critcize everything about them, make them feel insecure about themselves and try to change everything about them-u still have a lot to learn about women.

If a bloke did any of the above with me-id just tell him to go and **** himself

Of course, it takes a Machiavellian-esque type of abusive head game. Hence, these womanizers are almost invariably very smart men.

[amy37]

I believe that more less attractive people put less valuse on attractiveness because they understand the value of other important qualities, therefore this factors into 'less attractive' people liking less attractive people.

Which i think has great value because people grow on each other over time, which makes those relationship beautiful in a way only they can understand.

[michelle23]

iv seen lots of really good looking men tho with below average looking girls. it prob means there not shallow. iv also seen gorgeous girls with with not so hot men..

i think that just means everyones "type" is different. and some people dont place too much value on looks.

my bf treats me the exact same whether im dressef my absolute best or just woke up in the morning. hes seem me look my worst when i was in hospital and hes seen my bad hair days, bad skin days etc and still treats me like im perfect lol.

iv seen him also looking scruffy, needing a haircut or shave or covered in dirt in his work clothes-still think hes the sexiest man on the planet

[Love'sReject]

I believe that more less attractive people put less valuse on attractiveness because they understand the value of other important qualities, therefore this factors into 'less attractive' people liking less attractive people.

Which i think has great value because people grow on each other over time, which makes those relationship beautiful in a way only they can understand.

I don't believe I've read or heard it anywhere else so well said.

On that note, I would SOOOO go out with a girl that was like a facsimile of me (in personality, NOT looks). I'd do that chick 3x a day!