Numb about Love

shesjustnotin2u · 11-03-13, 09:18 AM

i love and care about this guy but im confused about what i want from the relationship. i've been seeing him for almost a year now and have spent almost every weekend together. we'd text each other everyday just to say hi and how our day was going. in the beginning, we both were going through a rough patch in life and were each others comfort and support. he became my friend. we had no intention of being in a relationship but simply good company. of course, we were sleeping with each other too. over time, feelings grew and i fell in love with him. despite his mental issues, narcotic (med) dependency, and narcissist personality, he grew on me and i was able to see pass his flaws. i accepted and appreciated him for who he was. i saw the good in him. He on the other hand, i wish i could say he felt the same. dont get me wrong, he cares about me, treats me good. he was like my best friend but was never willing to date me? no one is perfect and yes i have flaws and baggage too but you would think if someone truly loves you for who you are, they would accept you too, right? to make the story short, we tried being in relationship once but it didnt last too long. it was a mutual break up, you can say, but i was actually deeply hurt by it and never told him. we agreed to be friends and continued to live in a sudo world. since the break up, ive distanced my self from him. tried dating other guys but i never really had the time to invest into them. plus i still had feelings for him and could never give myself full to a new guy i just met. Now ive come to a yield sign and am questioning myself about this whole sudo relationship... Things are great the way they are, cant complain. It just I want something real, that i can feel is my significant other. I ask myself, do I want to be in a relationship with him... and honestly, after all the emotional heart aches and stress he put me through, Im scared to go back. Plus he likes things the way they are, he said and doesn't want it to change I truly love him and care about him yet angry he doesn't deserve me. I'm stuck, trapped in a love and hate relationship when were not even an official item. Help!

**basilandthyme** · 11-03-13, 02:40 PM

Sounds like an epic waste of time to me.

I guess it's fine to keep going like this if you never want to get married or a committed future with a man.....but if you do want these things, you'll have to unstick yourself.

**michelle23** · 11-03-13, 06:41 PM

You need to cut all contact with him. He will never give you what you want and your wasting your time on him. Go cold turkey, take whatever time you need to heal and when you are ready you will meet someone who wants the same things you do.

**goodluckchuck** · 12-03-13, 11:36 AM

Leave when you still can. He has no intentions of having a relationship with you. He is only buying time until he finds someone better to replace you. From a man's perspective, if I like someone, I wont hesitate to jump on her. It usually takes me no more than 3 months of hanging out to know if I want a relationship with her. Youre too nice. He's playing you like a puppet. Run when you still can or he will leave you more confused and hurt.

shesjustnotin2u · 12-03-13, 11:13 PM

Thank you all for the feed back. It was tough but I finally found the courage to tell him. He didn't take it too well and stormed off before I could finish. I guess he saw it coming. I was hoping at the very least we could still be friends but he threw it in my face and said I was dead to him... I was hurt by the response but maybe it was best to end on a bad note so we both can finally move on. I'm not sad, but happy I can now focus on someone who at least sees potential and beauty in me. Thank you everyone.