Boyfriend won't talk about his porn? :(

[sarahfort]

I'm hoping I might get some male feedback or outlooks on my situation. Female perspectives are welcome as well!

My boyfriends and I have been together 2 and a half years, we're in our 20's and are very happy. I am not blind or naive to the fact that when my boyfriend and I spend a night apart he uses porn to get off. Most men do. He often lets me use his computer and sometimes I'll even joke around like " Hey. big busty ****" last night hey, ha ha. And he'll just jokingly tell me to shush.

What bothers me is if porn or masturbating to it ever comes up, he will deny deny deny. He denies that he watches it, denies that he gets off to it. Last night before bed and before sex I wanted to know what kind of porn he watches when I'm not around. Sheer curiosity. What kind of porn turns him on so he can do his thing. He said it was awkward and I kept trying to get an answer out of him, and he shut me out. Totally closed the door to the subject. Told me he didnt feel comfortable discussing it, he felt awkward and wanted to go home to sleep. He ended up staying but I'm sure it was only because i was upset and he was tired.

I don't understand why he feels he can't talk to me about this? I can share anything with him, especially if its anything sexual. And I don't have a problem with him using porn as a visual when I'm not around, I KNOW those girls arent me, nor does he wish they were. Simply visual. What I don't understand is why he is so ashamed and embarassed that he does masturbate to other naked people. I don't understand why he'll deny it even though he knows, that i know. We spend 5-6 nights a week together but I have noticed whenever I'm not around he will watch it before bed. I have hurt feelings that he just shut me out, and won't be open about that kind of stuff, and that he feels he has to hide it from me. It kind of hurts when he does it behind my back, I'd rather not the sneaking. He was upset and acted quite harshly towards me, enough so to leave me in tears.

So guys. Do you talk openly about porn with your girlfriends/wives? Is there any reason why he might feel awkward or embarassed to the point of turning around and going to sleep angry with me? I'm just confused.

And girls, Would you feel hurt about this? I was only curious to know what gets him aroused when I;m not present. Might come in handy one day, role play or dress up... I can't understand why he is so closed off to the subject.

someone... give me anything!!

[vashti]

I think you should apologize for violating his privacy. No one owes you this kind of information, and many people would consider their private thoughts to be PRIVATE, so long as they don't interfere with your mutual sex life. If he is interested in having you role play, he will ask.

[Boisdevie]

If you try to force him to talk about this you will end up pushing him away. Why can't you just back off and leave him alone, it's not like it's doing any harm is it?