learning to communicate better?

[srami83]

Has anyone had a partner who would bottle things up...were you able to get past this? My bf and I have been doing some reflecting and its clear to me now that communication is a big issue. Is there anyway of helping the other learn to communicate or is this their own battle?

[michelle23]

its their own battle. there are ways to help such as building trust, being patient and understanding, developing an emotional connection etc but its something they need to work on alone also.

[gotnando]

I agree with Michelle. This is something he's going to have to deal with on his own; however, that doesn't mean you can help a little by showing him he can trust you - and like Michelle said, be understanding and patient, that way he can realize you're there for him and he can slowly open up to you. I myself tend to keep things bottled up. It's hard for me to trust someone. Give him some time and I think he'll open up to you.

[bearz]

Is there a specific issue that is affecting both of you that he is not willing to talk about?

In general, make sure you don't be needy and pushy. If he doesn't want to talk about something then you have to let it go. You don't want to him to distance himself from you in that regard. He will open up eventually when he feels more comfortable. And like everyone else has said, that's up to him.

[Rowen]

I would definitely say that communication is key. This is one of the billions of problems that destroyed my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. It was a train wreck where he would be closed off and wouldn't communicate. In the end, I kept trying to talk through our other problems with him, but he wouldn't want to talk. The talks would just turn into fights.

So, here's what I suggest... Make it a point to just talk to each other about things going on in your lives. Set aside some time each week where you just sit down and express how you're feeling about things you're going through (not necessarily with your relationship, mind you) and be supportive of one another. And most of all, LISTEN to each other. Don't have the television on or anything distracting. Just talk- the two of you... This will allow you to build a comfort zone where you can hopefully start to discuss deeper issues, even ones between you two, without fear of hurting the other or feeling like you can't talk to each other.

Don't be like John (my ex). Talk instead. Don't fight. And good luck.