My bad timing breakup

[AwptiK]

Hey all, any/all advice is appreciated here. :/

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I had been with my recent ex since the middle of December.

Things were incredibly great the entire duration of our relationship, she felt the same and was always praising something...how special she felt, happiness, sex, everything.

She just started her nursing school in mid-January. We took the slightest step back in hanging out, because she needed the time to study and whatnot. But as her first term (6-week terms) drew on, we hung out more and more because she was getting the hang of being back in school again. She hadn't done school/work since her daughter was born, nearly two years ago, so it was an adjustment on her for sure.

Everything continued to be great.

She just started her second term of classes (today marks the third week of said term), and that first week there was a very large change in her stress levels. I could tell from that, and from her saying it, that this term was much much harder. We still managed to get through that first week.

However, the second week started and she had her first few tests. She did badly on her first two tests. It was Tuesday last week when she ended things. I'll justify this being absolute truth if I have to, but she is very blunt and we always had the best open, honest line of communication so I absolutely trust her reasoning.

She told me that she realized she needs to focus on school and her daughter, and doesn't have the time to offer to a relationship. Adding, that it is unfair to me to be strung along waiting for a chance to hangout, when she doesn't know if she can offer it right now. I spoke my mind and expressed willingness to help, make sacrifices, etc. But she came back saying that THIS is her future and she needs it. We haven't spoken since the breakup, everything was definitely left in good standing though and I never begged or pleaded or anything. I simply wished her well in school and am giving her what she needs.

If you love someone, let them go... -Gone through my head so many times.. I can tell just how much I truly do love her, because of how I am giving her what she needs right now.

----- So that's the story in itself, i'll continue with some thoughts and realizations i've had myself..

I've talked to some mothers and some nursing majors who all agreed with how valid of a reason that is. Some stated that they watched relationships crumble and watched others deal with levels of guilt for not getting to spend time with their someone.

I've fully accepted and I truly do understand her reasoning. In truth, I may or may not be there in 10 years, but her future career will be, and so is the daughter she needs to be raising and have the ability to support. If she fails a class, she is OUT of that program and loses her full ride. Absolutely cool with where I fall in the priorities list, without a doubt.

I also realized that the stress that was coming in to the relationship from school was having a negative affect on me. I'm so glad things ended when they did, so I could realize this, otherwise down the road we would have crumbled like other couples and it would not have been a reasonable breakup like this was.

We never talked about the future like some do in "bad timing breakups". This is because we're both pretty realistic about things. Either of us could move on and more importantly, there's no telling when she will be ready to offer time to a relationship again. She may have also known i'd have waited if she mentioned the future.

I'm typing all this and seeking advice, because I do want her back. Not now, but when she's ready. I am hoping there's enough for her to want to try again when she wants a relationship.

I'm not thinking from an emotional standpoint here. I'm honestly barely hurting. I miss the memories, but everything else is totally okay, because of the circumstances and the fact that nothing could have changed things. I can not exaggerate though, we both felt more for each other in this short amount of time than any past relationships. Things clicked like never before, everything....amazing.

Only thing I wish is that we could manage some sort of casual thing right now, but I know it's not possible. For instance, I came over for naps a few times when she put her daughter down for one, and she ended up telling me she can't think about anything else or want to sleep when i'm around.

Current thought is to send her a letter on her birthday, in a month 4/11, stating my acceptance and understanding of her decision. I'd simply end with something like, "I know it was an unspoken request, but I want you to know I haven't paused my life for any reason. I've (random sentence or two about recent trip/hobby/etc). If you find that you want to try again when you feel that you are ready, then give me a call and I'd be happy to see what potential there could be."

Thoughts? Suggestions? Insight?

Today would have marked our 3rd month together.. I'm sure this past weekend has been harder on her than the few days at school, since she's had time to think and hopefully miss me a little too.

[Over The Fence]

multipost. Original thread is here:

http://www.loveforum.net/threads/78981-Bad-timing-sucks