questions!

[lamobatsman]

ok i posted my story earlier on the other forum about a girl i met on facebook. but i have some questions that maybe girls can answer for me.

how do you respond or react to a situation where you are talking every day to a girl for hours on facebook, then after a few weeks hardly nothing. and she says she is busy at work and moving houses etc. Is this believeable? i reacted by calling her out on it. is this a good idea too?

would you still write to her if shes not replying as much? even though she said she loves hearing from you every minute of the day...

and also how would u react to a girl when she changes the way she writes to you? do you ever call them out and try to talk to them about wats going on?

what if they are genuinely busy?

[smackie9]

I wouldn't know I don't date women.

[smackie9]

BTW when you call out someone like that, it makes you look like an insecure twit.

[lamobatsman]

BTW when you call out someone like that, it makes you look like an insecure twit.

haha so who do you date?!

so u think not to call out a women and accept their BS or bad behaviour?

[bearz]

You don't call them out on it. What's the point? They have their reason and as soon as you question them, they'll just get annoyed with you.

[basilandthyme]

haha so who do you date?!

so u think not to call out a women and accept their BS or bad behaviour?

No, you don't have to accept it - nor do you have to call them out. If it's just a Facebook friendship, you simply stop messaging and move on.

[Woods]

Have you met the girl? If not then ask her to meet. What's the point in messaging for weeks on end if it's not going anywhere?? Maybe that's why shes losing interest.

As for being busy, if someone likes you enough then they will find time for you. Simple as that. If she can't do that then you know shes not interested.

[lamobatsman]

Have you met the girl? If not then ask her to meet. What's the point in messaging for weeks on end if it's not going anywhere?? Maybe that's why shes losing interest.

As for being busy, if someone likes you enough then they will find time for you. Simple as that. If she can't do that then you know shes not interested.

i posted my story on the other forum. we met up. im just curious to know if i did something rong

[lamobatsman]

i met this girl on facebook through a mutual friend. we started chattign every day on it, even during work. Now she is 18 and im 24 and she lives ina another country. We talk every day at work like this for hours and we get to know each other. we both reli like each other and say this to one another and say things like i miss you etc etc

After a cuple of weeks chatting i ask her if we can speak on the fone or skype. we organise to talk on skype one evening after she finishes work. That evening she stood me up and i tried also calling her. The next day i call her on it and say im never skyping u again as i waited for you and she said that she was ill and went straight to sleep after work. i said that she cud have at least let me know. she apologised and said it was not her intention for me to wait for her.

anyway few days after i talk to her on fb chat and ask her that its been 2 weeks and that we havent even called or skyped. i say wen u like someone thats what u do. she agrees and says that but wen im ill and busy and lying in bed i cant. but that she defintely wants it too. (im not a big fan of texting all the time or on fb chat) i prefer hearing their voice .

i plan to fly to see her for a weekend and she gives me dates when she is free. all lookks good and i say il book my flights next week wen i get paid. i find a hotel also. then the next say she writes me syaing i have good news im coming to my country with a friend. i was confused because i thought i was coming to see her first and spend the weekend just the two of us. i question her why she comes with a friend and not by myself. she says its normal the first time she come with afriend. she said that she comes to my place first then i come to hers

the next week she starts gettign very distant and not replying so much to me. we hardly talk for a week. she says shes busy at work etc.
she starts messaging back very short messages and still has no time to talk on skype even though she is in bed one day on her laptop downloading music.

she doesnt reply to me for a few days and so i delete her and send her a farewell message. she replies back saying why she not write a lot the last week is because she wanted to see if her feelings were real and if she cud cope with them. i was mad and said that she cud have at least let me know and i wud have given her space. she says that she has feeligns for me and reli lilkes me and wants to visit me often and that she hopes i visit her too.

anyway the next 4 weeks goes by and she hardly writes to me. she says shes busy at work and moving house so she has not much time.
i start getting frustrated. she ignores me for some days (even thought she writes me good morning every day), and wen i ask her she says she has been busy. so i ignore her for alike a day or two and she starts messaging me where i am gone. Its fine for her to ignore me but if i dont write back to her its not?!

then one day she is at home and i ask her if she want to skype. she said shes in bed and not feeling well so she cant. she siad she will write to me later. then that evening she has gone out to a club pfft.

also that weekend i found cheap tickets to go see her in a cuple of months and she showed no interest and said maybe its best to wait to see how the weekend goes before i book tickets to see her. but before she was reli keen and excited for me to come see her in her new house.

anyway i got reli frustrated by now that its been 2 months and we havent skyped and only spoken on the fone for 5 minutes wen she went out on a nite (so i cudnt hear her properly).

i did something stupid and created a fake account a week before she flies in to try to see wat was going on and she fouind out it was me 2 days before she was meant to fly in

[Woods]

You're wasting your time with her. The girls not interested, all she does is stall and make excuses. The fact is, you're focusing on her words when you should be focusing on her actions. Her actions tell you everything you need to know and if you stopped buying her excuses for a moment then you would have no doubt that this girl is wasting your time. Sorry.

[lamobatsman]

i agree with u woods. everyone has said the same thing. but why was she so sweet and ncie to me at the beginning and then she suddenly got cold and turned nasty on me when i used to ask her why she doesnt reply to me or ever have time these days?!

and also wud u have still met up with her knowing she was already coming to ur country?

[Woods]

It's easy to be half-committed online. Words are easy, actions require effort. When it comes to acting on the words then you see the true colours. Hence you saw hers when you asked for more.

[smackie9]

haha so who do you date?!

so u think not to call out a women and accept their BS or bad behaviour?

How do you know it's bad? And if you do then you never call them again and walk away like a man.

[VerticalMoon]

If you were talking for hours every day, it may have just gotten to the point where she felt like it was getting to be too much. At first, it may have been new and interesting. But after a while, it could have felt like too much. That doesn't mean a relationship might not still be possible. It would just be a relationship where you spent less time talking with each other. Some people would be happy with that arrangement. Others couldn't live with it. You just need to decide what type of a person you are.

I'd have asked her what was going on. If she thought, she was losing interest, she should let you know so you can move on. If she was still interested, then you could try talking to her less frequently. Try to match the amount of effort you put into the relationship to the amount she's putting in to it. Keep yourself busy with other things. That way she'll have time to miss you. If she's losing complete interest, then at least you'll have other things going on in your life and it won't be as hard to let her go. And if things stay you can decide if you're comfortable with that or if you need to end things.

[basilandthyme]

i agree with u woods. everyone has said the same thing. but why was she so sweet and ncie to me at the beginning and then she suddenly got cold and turned nasty on me when i used to ask her why she doesnt reply to me or ever have time these days?!

She got cold and nasty because she felt you were too pushy. Had you just backed off a bit, she wouldn't have gotten cold and nasty.