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Thread: Is he trying to break up with me? or does he just need some space?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    Is he trying to break up with me? or does he just need some space?

    Hello All,
    Things haven't been good between my man and I.
    We've been together for round year and half.
    Everything was going really well for a while and we had a conflict which led him to wanting a break. He loathes any type on conflict as he says all his mental energy should be put into his work and work only.

    During the week or 2 break, he sent me a message saying "I think I want to be single"
    I was heart broken but decided to move on.
    He texted me through out then slowly got back into my life saying he never meant that he wanted to break up.
    I was already so hurt by this because last time this similar thing happened (6 months ago) he did some stupid thing over a text and I asked him not to ever do that again.

    I told him I didn't know if I wanted to get back with him since I've been hurt too much through out the relationship (although there were fantastic times), I just didn't know why I would put my self through that again?
    I even told him I wasn't feeling the same anymore and he said he could see that but he really wanted to be with me.
    He said he loves me and can't think of going to bed and waking up with anyone else in the world and even after what happened and if he feels that way its not something he wants to give up.

    I decided to give it a go again since he was being consistent for a week. However he became very nervous around me which isn't like him almost tip toeing around my emotions, making sure I was feeling OK etc. I could feel that lot of his energy was being spent on me. He's a workaholic and is currently working on his dream album and he's priority in life is his work.

    Then 2 Fridays ago I was meant to go over to his house , he even called in the morning to make sure and asking when I would come. He was at the studio which is an hour or two from his house working on his album but said he would come home to work and bring the files there.

    Once I arrived, that's when everything changed, He said there were something wrong with the files and it didn't work on his computer and was very distant and cold. He ended up cancelling meeting me Sunday just saying he wanted to be alone.
    We usually spend every single evening together. I've seen him last 2 Wednesdays. He hasn't cut off communication completely, he texts every one or 2 days asking how my days were and work etc
    But This is definite pull back.
    I've not been pursuing him or asking him if everythings OK. When he contacts me or spends time with me I've been upbeat casual and chirpy. His affection level hasn't changed at all.
    Still very affectionate, I could see his beaming smile like he's missed me last meeting.
    I don't know what to think?
    Has he finally decided to leave me for good so he is slowly trying to detach him self?
    Or is he hurt by me saying I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue?
    Or was the drama bit too much he's trying to pull himself away to focus on work and gather himself?

    The signs are confusing, he seems happy to talk or meet. but suddenly much scarce
    Please Help!
    Update: If a guy wanted to break it off, usually yeah the distance happens but not even a check up msgs or when you see them they look either bored or not into being with you.
    I'm confused as this doesn't feel like that I don't know what to make of it.
    I just want to be ready if he is going to break up with me
    Update: Oh, and If things are really as bad as I think What can I do to change it?
    How do I get him back?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    Female
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    Sydney
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    7,055
    Oh Jan, why are you wanting him back when he treats you and the relationship like a yoyo. Expect better for yourself!
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    Location
    Ireland
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    9,938
    He doesnt know what he wants and he thinks he can pick you up and drop you whenever it suits him and your like a puppet waiting for him to pull the next string. Its all on his terms. Stop allowing him to treat you like second best. hes not sure of you which means there is no future. Have enough pride and self respect to walk away so you can find a man who is sure about you and wants a future.

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