So I started going out with my boyfriend several years ago. We dated for a few weeks and I found out he was sleeping with other people so we broke up. We sometimes talked but neither of us expected to be in a relationship with each other again. After about 7 months we started hanging out as friends and dating again. I asked him if he'd slept with anyone since and he said no. It really wouldn't have bothered me if he had, I wasn't expecting anything from him and the same the other way around. I've been a bit paranoid about the fact he might be lying to me. We have now been together 2 years. I really don't mind if he ever did sleep with anyone but I just feel kind of uneasy about this one girl. I think he panicked when I first asked him about it and said no and if I've asked him since he's had to stick to his lie. Is that a bad lie? I don't mind the truth I just don't like the fact that there may be a lie between us. I trust him 100% as I believe I know him over the last 2 years, I just don't know him from before that. What do you think? Big deal or not?
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Thread: Is this lie ok?
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23-03-13, 03:22 AM #1
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Is this lie ok?
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23-03-13, 03:29 AM #2
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You don't trust him 100%. There is a bad history and you have your doubts. He cheated on you back then so what's telling you that he won't do it now? If you can't trust him then you have a problem in your relationship... and that is a big deal.
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23-03-13, 03:34 AM #3
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I do trust him now, completely. It's just been that one thing that I always wondered
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23-03-13, 03:38 AM #4
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I don't think it's "cheating" if you're in the early stages of dating. Until you have the "commitment/official" talk, then there aren't any chains that bind you to that person.
Originally Posted by bearz
"All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley
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23-03-13, 03:46 AM #5
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But you are still worried about this one girl and you said that you have a feeling that he might be lying to you. That is not what I call "completely trusting someone". You have these thoughts in your head and they are not going to go away over night.
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23-03-13, 03:48 AM #6
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True... she mentioned dating at first, but then said "broke up" so I thought they were in a serious relationship back then. If it was still in the early dating phase and they weren't exclusive, you're right. Originally Posted by Cerby
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23-03-13, 03:53 AM #7
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No we were dating, ok broke off may have been a better phrase.
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23-03-13, 03:58 AM #8
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The thing is I don't mind if he ever was with this girl, he told me they kissed, I'm not sure if my mind is just jumping to conclusions. That may well be all it ever was.
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23-03-13, 03:58 AM #9
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He treated u badly in the early stages the first time round which is a major red flag for any long term relation. Past behaviour is an indication of future behaviour and i honestly dont no y u have wasted so much time on him.
I dont trust people who think "sex is just sex, it means nothing" people with that mentality will cheat on you whether he has already or not is irrelevant-he will even if its not for 10 years but he will.
he was sleeping around you met him which means he wasnt taking u seriously and didnt see any potential with u. In the early stages of a new relationship-your supposed to be a little obsessed with each other and not thinking or sleeping with others.
I dont care what anyone says-people who sleep around and have casual sex cannot be trusted in a relationship.
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23-03-13, 04:02 AM #10
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I think that you shouldn't have asked him if he slept with others during your break up. Chalk it up to being an inappropriate question and him feeling pinned down to respond.
Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.
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23-03-13, 04:17 AM #11
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You shouldn't trust him.
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23-03-13, 06:03 AM #12
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Obviously it does matter if he did, or you wouldn't have put so much thought into it.
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23-03-13, 07:45 AM #13
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If you trusted him, you wouldn't be posting on this site right now. Originally Posted by hannah187
But let me get this straight... He cheats on you. You two break up. You get back together. You think he's been cheating again. ...And you're trying to say it wouldn't matter if he did??? I'm confused.
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23-03-13, 08:09 AM #14
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I think she wants to know if he slept with that girl before they got back together rowen. I could be wrong tho. The whole story is a little confusing. I dont know y she got back with him in the first place after he hurt her
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24-03-13, 01:43 AM #15
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its 2 years on. even if he did sleep with this girl, you werent together, and you never assumed you would get back together. don't let it bother you. you weren't with him or on his mind so no wrong had bin done. its best just never to ask about exes. no good to keep digging up the past if you've already chosen to go forward.
