Do i have a second chance?

[capeb]

Please read this and give your opinion, im a hurting soul looking for advice.

Hello, I've lost my girlfriend that ive been with for 2 years now. We had some time apart at christmas time because she left my house on christmas eve to drive home (4 hours away where our university we both go to is, she said it was huge mistake and wanted to come back). We officially broke up around march 14th because she said she fell out of love with me. Earlier in February we had a bad break and we weren't actually together because i said a few mean things out of frustration because she was being hard on me. We got back together for two weeks and i did everything perfect for her. She actually hooked up with a guy she was friend with for 3 years during those 3 weeks off ( i hooked up with someone this time but havent been in enough contact to tell her). She told me that it meant nothing and i accepted it because we weren't together. But when we were together for two weeks she talked to him a lot and said she was only friends. I told her i felt uncomfortable with her talking to him a lot and she said they were only friends, i let it go unless we were trying to spend time together and if it was excessive but other than that i was ok with it. She actually talked to him while we were dating for two years because she has a lot of guy friends and i trusted her and she was loyal. She loved me a lot during our two years together and we always talked about getting married (im 21 and shes 23). We spent the entire summer living together at her families house and we were happy. We haven't had many bumps in our relationship and this was the first really bad patch.
She told me she didn't want to be with me because she fell out of love with me and i got frustrated and said some mean things then eventually begged her to get back constantly via text. I told her eventually i accepted the situation and i understand why it happened and maybe she'd see i was a good person eventually and cherished our time together and thought we 'were' truly soulmates (trying to make her think i was gone forever mind games). I left her be for a week then i saw her car at the guys place who lives close to me after i told her to come over and get her spare keys and i texted her that and said it was sad she brought me back for two weeks to only drop me for him. She immediately texted me back and said she wasn't with him. I kind of believe her because shes never lied to me or had a reason to. I went on to tell her i accepted the situation and never thought she wouldnt give me a chance and i would give her one because i would of thought about all the good times we had together and i wouldnt give up on it. I then told her i hated that i had to forget about all the good times we had together in order to move on and she told me not to forget about them and i can think about them all. she also told me she doesn't think im an awful person and that i would find all the stuff i pleaded to her about us with someone else. i also asked her if she found it easy to forget and she said she isnt going to forget but she is finding its not easy to move on. Its her first serious relationship too

I tried searching methods on how to get an ex back and i did all the ignoring and thinking positive and no contact for a week and it was great. I saw her at the bar last week because i went and she smiled at waved at me because i was on the dance floor. Her regular friend she goes to the bar with wasnt home for the weekend so she took a few friends i know don't go often or enjoy the bar much with her. I only smiled at her and didn't engage in conversation because i was trying the no contact rule and making my self look less available by talking to other girls and dancing with other girls.

My question is will i get her back if i play my cards right? i know this relationship meant a lot to her because she was obsessed with getting married and having children already and moving in but i was focused on school and wasn't ready for that. I love her dearly and i want a future with her.

The last text i sent her when she said she had to go was:
good luck with your school work, i just want you to think about everything and understand that things don't always have to be the way they are now. Mistakes get made and things in time can be fixed for the better. Just think with your heart. hope everything is going well. I wont text you anymore. Things that are lost can be found. Good bye.

[Ann S]

Dear Capeb: A couple of questions: 1. "I said a few mean things out of frustration because she was being hard on me." What did you say, and what was she being hard on you about? Sometimes, we say mean things because we want to avoid the topic, but the mean things can't EVER be taken back! Was what she telling you true? And you just didn't want to deal with it? 2. " i would find all the stuff i pleaded to her about - " I suspect that you weren't really satisfied with your GF because you kept trying to change her? by pleading with her about something? It's so frustrating when we learn, WE CAN'T CHANGE ANYBODY EXCEPT OURSELVES.
I'd just leave her alone, and see what happens. And DON'T text her anymore- - - keep your word. Good Luck. Ann

[capeb]

When i said that "i would find all the stuff i pleaded to her about" she said all the nice things i was trying to say to her about our relationship and me she said i'd find that with someone else

[Ann S]

Good Morning: Well, there is your answer! "You'll find it with someone else!"
I know this is difficult. But, I would really support you in moving on.
But before you move on, I hope you will think about how YOU communicate with women. We aren't drawn to guys who say mean things to us. We are drawn to guys who are kind, kewl, attentive, thoughtful.....(well, most of us). When you are in a relationship, how do you collaborate to solve problems? Do you ever have a discussion about how to make suggestions to each other without hurting feelings? Take care. Ann

[Cerby]

My question is will i get her back if i play my cards right? i know this relationship meant a lot to her because she was obsessed with getting married and having children already and moving in but i was focused on school and wasn't ready for that. I love her dearly and i want a future with her.

Let the chips fall. In my experience reconciliation rarely happens, and when it does, it doesn't last very long. Good luck, but for now, just try to get over it.

[capeb]

Yes i have accepted that she has lost feelings for me, but I believe that if people are meant to be together they will be together. Shes talking to me in little spirts discussing little things about that we should move on and that she is happy that im making appropriate steps to stay happy during this time. I do believe after the hectic time of exams (we're both in university) and she has the time to reflect on our relationship a little more, she will understand that we can be together. I'm not sitting at home and being a debbie downer, im getting out and being active at the gym, volunteering, going out on weekends at the bar (a few times i saw her but didn't engage just smiled at her and she waved). I went a week without contacting her then i got a little frustrated during my day and opened up to her (but didn't get all begging for her to come back or get mad at her, i just told her i was sorry for a lot of things such as ever making her sad, admitted my faults and mistakes and wished it didn't happen this way). Last time we talked i finished off by saying i hope her day goes great and that this isnt some petty attempt at begging her to come back, i said i just said maybe she'll realize in time i'm the one she deserves to be with and if its meant to be it will be. Thats my mentality right now, focus on myself and if we're meant to be together, it will work its way out.