Is the guy always wrong, or a lonely mans jabbering

[Archie]

Hello dear representatives of the beautiful gender, I come to you today to ask just one simple question: "Why does the guy always have to be in the wrong?".

This might sound strange. Over the last few years of being in and out of relationships I've come across one pattern. And that is, that when something bad happens, It's usually my fault or when when the girl is to blame, she won't stop whinging unless I admit my fault in whatever has happened.
So, why do women do this and do You do this as well? What is the purpose behind it and do you care to explain?

Up until now i`ve come to my own one conclusion and by asking this question, I just wish to find out, weather I was correct on my assumptions or maybe I`m just dumb in trying to assume anything at all.

[Ann S]

WOW - If you find yourself always in the wrong, time to do a little inventory about what kinds of women you are selecting? If I can blame you, I don't have to look at myself! Are you with women who have no insight about themselves? And I hope you don't admit to anything when you are not the cause of it. That is codependency....trying to please someone else even if what you are taking the blame for did not occur because of you.
On the other hand, go back over the things you got blamed for. Did you have a part in them? Are you the one who needs to look at his behavior?
I certainly don't know. But, speaking as a woman, when I mess up, I don't look for a scapegoat to blame. Ann

[smackie9]

If this is a pattern you have been following, it's not the girl, it's the girls you are choosing to date. I suspect you are dating young like 19 to 25 am I right? Drama, immaturity, texting constantly, self absorbed, etc. Next time, get to know the girl before you invest your feelings......feel them out and choose more wisely.

[bearz]

... or when when the girl is to blame, she won't stop whinging unless I admit my fault in whatever has happened.

There's your problem. You have to stand up for yourself more, don't let the girls walk all over you.

[smackie9]

I agree but even so, this is learned behavior when she was a little girl....daddy always caved in. Don't put up with it. Either she respects you or you dump her if she won't change.

[Archie]

Well, i`m 23, so yes, i`ve been dating girls at around my age, though, not younger than 21, but that's beside the point.

I`m kind of an easy going person, so I guess that could be easy to exploit. And It's not like all the girls I've dated so far have had this thing going on.
I know it's absolutely wrong to admit something that you haven't done and quite frankly that's exactly why I haven't had long term relationships with those peculiar girls.

I'm guessing my question wasn't really quite clear, I was wondering about this from a psychological perspective, as to why some girls tend to force their will onto their other halves.


But certainly, thanks for your replies!

[bearz]

I'm pretty sure it's the same the other way around. Some just never see a fault in themselves and always blame someone else. Whether it's more women than men that do this, I don't know.

[VerticalMoon]

Well, everybody regardless of gender usually sees things from their own perspective. Which means if there's a disagreement, of course they'll think they're right and the other person is wrong. If the disagreement's about who's at fault, then she'll think you're at fault.

Although, honestly, I tend to take the blame more than I put it on him in the relationship. Sometimes I need to get to the point where I'm cooled down before I can do it, but then I know I owe him an apology. For me, as a woman, I like to talk things out. Then we can work past our emotions. We can see where the other person is coming from. We can start to feel connected again. But as long as he's just making excuses for his behavior, then it's as though he's telling me that my feelings don't matter. I can't work through issues that way, so I"ll keep on until he sees my perspective.

[bearz]

Although, honestly, I tend to take the blame more than I put it on him in the relationship. Sometimes I need to get to the point where I'm cooled down before I can do it, but then I know I owe him an apology. For me, as a woman, I like to talk things out. Then we can work past our emotions. We can see where the other person is coming from. We can start to feel connected again. But as long as he's just making excuses for his behavior, then it's as though he's telling me that my feelings don't matter. I can't work through issues that way, so I"ll keep on until he sees my perspective.

I'm the same way, but sometimes I like to talk and say too much which has the exact opposite effect of trying to improve the situation, it just makes it worse. But while talking things out it is really important to be honest to each other and even though it might be a heated argument, try to stay calm and still be respectful of the other person otherwise it's not going anywhere.

[smackie9]

IMO is all comes down to how one was raised which it becomes part of their personality (behavior) as an adult. But it can turn around as they age, get experience and develop maturity. They eventually (some not all) learn that admitting fault isn't life threatening to there image.

You are young and I remember that perspective....when you get into your 40's life looks a lot clearer.