Is it wrong to find sex elsewhere

[sophiejoy]

After spending 16 yrs with a paraplegic (can't feel his penis hence cannot orgasm, also sex can only be me on top). I have an incredibly high sex drive, however for 16 yrs have had a v limited sex life. I feel an intense need to get sex elsewhere, the thought of all the positions I'm missing out on & actually seeing a man come drive me crazy. I get a hell of a lot of male attention so the frustration is made so much harder. Would it be so wrong to get what I so desperately need elsewhere?

[basilandthyme]

Sophie, is he unable to give you manual and oral sexual attention? What about him using a dildo on you?

[Wakeup]

After spending 16 yrs with a paraplegic (can't feel his penis hence cannot orgasm, also sex can only be me on top). I have an incredibly high sex drive, however for 16 yrs have had a v limited sex life. I feel an intense need to get sex elsewhere, the thought of all the positions I'm missing out on & actually seeing a man come drive me crazy. I get a hell of a lot of male attention so the frustration is made so much harder. Would it be so wrong to get what I so desperately need elsewhere?

I think it would only be wrong if your didn't discuss this with your partner and it was mutually agreed to that you could supplement your sexual needs elsewhere, wherein you had very strict rules and boundaries in place that would help to keep you emotionally unattached to your human dildoes. If he doesn't agree, then figure out some other ways that he can help you with your boredom.

[sophiejoy]

He is able to give me manual & oral attention & I never fail to orgasm sometimes several times but there is so much more to sex than that.

[sophiejoy]

I've told him I'm missing what he can't give me & he knows only too well how sexual I am. He keeps telling me to go & find a 'F' buddy but I'm not sure he means it

[HeartIsAching]

Seriously? He loves you so much that he's told you to go find a ****buddy and you won't do it?

Why don't you know if he means it? Has he given you reason to believe that he wouldn't be honest with you in the past?

[Wakeup]

I've told him I'm missing what he can't give me & he knows only too well how sexual I am. He keeps telling me to go & find a 'F' buddy but I'm not sure he means it

Oh for christ sakes. Your question: "Is it wrong to find sex elsewhere?" You say "I have an intense need to find sex elswhere" so wtf did you plan on doing? Even though he's given you permission you're still wondering. What is your solution to your problem then? If he actually didn't mean it, what do you suggest that you do to resolve this problem?

You tell us and we'll tell you if its "wrong."

[toknow]

You are right to think that he might not mean it. He might be testing you.

But, you are already late with the is it wrong question. If you want it and think about it, it's as if you've already done it. The only difference is the circumstances.

[michelle23]

There are other ways to make him orgasm. The penis is not the only sensitive area. You could try nipple play, massage-all sorts of things really. Why dont you see a sex therapist together or even try hypnosis.

I don't think your "missing anything" if your having multiple orgasms. Hes the one missing out. And yes I think it would be wrong to sleep with someone else. You chose to be with him knowing that you cannot have sex.

[sophiejoy]

He adores me tbh, & has admitted that visa versa, he couldn't stay faithful. I get the impression he feels I should go elsewhere but he'd never want to know

[sophiejoy]

Sex used to be more frequent but he has more problems now. I do stimulate his nipples & he enjoys it. Therapy out of the question, he won't do it & I honestly feel it's not what I nee

[Wakeup]

You need to know exactly what he's thinking before you venture out. If he's outright given you permission and admitted that he'd want to do the same if the situation was reversed is him being a very lovinging and thoughtless partner. You love him, he loves you and the rest is "just sex."

There are rules to ensure that you don't become emotionally involved with whomever is willing to have NSA sex with you one being that you're upfront and honest with your sexual partner in that you will never leave the man you love. That way, anyone is making a decision to volunteer with full disclosure.

Stop feeling guilty, sophiejoy. This is something you've discussed and he loves you enough that he doesn't want to see you anything other then happy and satisfied.

Google "The FB Rules" before doing anything. Then have another discussion with him about how he would really feel. Don't assume that he wouldn't want to know about it because that is called cheating if you don't actually know but it would be easier on you if you didn't have to tell him.

[michelle23]

no matter how much he says hes ok with it-hes not. hes insecure and afraid youll leave him and thinks noone else would want him. thats the only reason hel agree but it will break his heart and make him want to die. youd be better off breaking up

[Wakeup]

You DO NOT know that. And you do not know that either of them would be better off without the other.

[sophiejoy]

many thanks 'wakeup' for all your replies, much appreciated as was other's input