Please please take some time and help me:(

[macdaddy40]

Okay so we started talking in early February. Started dating officially in early April. Have been great friends for 2 years before.

I am 19 and she is 17

Please read each side of our relationship. First part is her from my view, then I will do me from her view:

Her incidences from my view:

1. Beginning of March, she came home from a party and told me some guy gave her head while she was drunk. This was our first incident. We just started dating to I forgave her because she was wasted anyway. All the way later in September she told me she made it up (on her own) because she was drunk. Which I do believe (long story), but it was our first huge fight with me almost ending the relationship.

2. A couple days later after promising to not do anything to hurt me, she was flirting with some guy on facebook who she knew wanted her for sex. I didn't find this out until months and months later, so I let it go. As far as I know she was never planning on hanging out with him.

3. After we made if official in April, some guy started messaging me on FB. He was mad because she was also talking to him and saying she wanted to be with him. I had no knowledge. I saw texts that seemed like she really was talking to him like that (romantically), but she said it was a misunderstanding. After she cried and cried for me, I eventually just said okay.

4. After that, nothing too too bad. There were a lot of fights about her twitter and what she was doing on it. One time she had a messaging app on her phone that she quickly deleted when I was about to look at it. Said that her and her friend were the only ones talking on it and it was about a surprise for me. That was suspicious.

5. THIS IS THE WORST ONE. I wake up one morning to messages from a girl who found a twitter account belonging to my girlfriend called "blondebunny" which was basically an account made to talk to junior hockey players (age 16-20). I was livid because we had TONS of fights where she insisted that she could care less about hockey players. I believed the exact opposite.
She admitted to making it because she was interested in the lifestyle of junior hockey players and thought it was cool. I never saw the tweets because she deleted. She admitted that some of the tweets were messaging hockey players, but said they were her best friend on the account as well (which her best friend agreed, but that isn't reliable).
But I saw her that day and forgave her. There was a lot of turmoil after, though.

6. This past week, I went through her texts after she fell asleep. I found out she was smoking cigs behind my back. Which isn't the worst thing ever. But what really pissed me off was because we have this thing where we say "swear on your life" and it's supposed to be the 100% truth no matter what....and she said that and lied on it. And I know that is a RETARDED system, but SHE made it up, so I thought I could always count on her to tell the truth..Especially because she believes that lying on that could affect someone in real life (I know it can't).

That last incident caused me to break up with her for a couple days (we have a long distance relationship and she was staying at my house). But she literally turned into a zombie after I broke up with her. She either bawled or had no emotion at all and just sat cross legged looking down.
So I agreed for us to date so the rest of her vacation wouldn't be just that.

My incidences from her view:

1. When I moved to Minnesota for hockey, I had a few girls message me out of the blue on FB. I flirted back, just because I liked the attention. She saw the girls in my messages but never got to read them. I flirted, they gave me their numbers (without me asking), although I did save them (stupid), with maybe the intention of texting them at some point...But NO intention of every meeting up or cheating.
So basically she knows that girls messaged me and I had a conversation with them/flirted back.

2. She saw a picture of my teammate and I smoking (not cigs) and caught me in a lie. She was very upset about it..for lying and because it made her feel like she never knew what I was doing. So I was caught on that, but it was innocent, it was just with one other guy (no girls).

THOSE ARE THE ONLY TWO TIMES I'VE BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH HER.

What she doesn't know

I swear on her life and lie because I don't believe that crap.

I have smoked behind her back 10+ times (only with guy friends).

I got drunk at almost every hockey game that I had to sit in the stands for with my teammates.

I talked to a few girls that she didn't know about while I was at my hockey games. No bad attentions, just because I like the attention sometimes.


I have never come anywhere close to cheating, however.

One other negative for me is I have a tendency to lose my cool and call her names and say things I don't mean to her. I am also usually the instigator in fights.

One positive for her is even if I start the fight and want a break up or break, she begs mercilessly for that not to happen. She rarely starts fights.

The only reason I have kept it going it because we are and were great friends before this. We are extremely comfortable with each other. I am convinced that she does love me...But PLEASE HELP!!?

Questions:

Am I as guilty as her?

Do you think she is too shady?

Should I break up with her?

[FlaCooln]

Both of a you are being shady and immature. If you want this relationship to work you have to be open and honest with each other. All this sneekiing and lying is not good for your relationship. Both of you are young and are going to make mistakes, but it seems like most of your mistakes are just lying to each other.

Man up and have a frank discussion with her.

[cool hwhip]

Ok dude, you need to take it easy. Are you expecting complete lyalty and class from a 17 year old you ve been dating for a month? Give her space and enjoy her. So drop this "swear on your life" system cuz thats gonna create more problems. Girs at this age are in rebelious state and dont like to be controlled or tide up. Learn how to keep it cool. Last thing you want is to be another parent in this relationship. Girl get repelled by it.

[Wakeup]

There were a lot of fights about her twitter

Her 'twitter?' Is that your code name for her vag?

Anyway, Dude; why don't you just break up with her and enjoy all the attention that you're currently able to pull. I think being in something exclusive at this point is just a recipe for you to learn how to cheat so why bother staying with her at all when there's all the trouble you've been having?

[cd_au]

Hey, just take it easy. You need to ask your heart if you wanna be with her or if you guys are suit for each other.

[michelle23]

Maybe if you had a girl who you could trust you wouldn't feel the "need" for attention off other girls. The relationship is destructive and unhealthy. It will never work. If you choose to stay with her-I wish you luck coz your going to need it