Broke up with him even though I love him - am I crazy????

[rainbowdoors]

So to keep it as short as possible. I was with my partner for just over 5 years. He was seeing someone else during our first two years together, we tried to work it out. Half our relationship has been us trying to mend things. I would confidently say he is mainly a changed man, he changed jobs, changed lifestyle, moved away with us, became an open person proved to me but I have never been able to get past it. I am still attracted to him, we still get along like a house on fire, we have a great family life (I have a young child) he is always willing to improve him self but I just can't get past what happened. it changed how I viewed him

so I broke up with him. He went into shock, begged and pleaded and couldn't comprehend why I would break up with him while I was still quite in love with him. He understood and was respectful that it was to do with the trust issues and the damage still there even though we have both actively tried to fix it. But he just has this mentatilty that I can get past things and he is willing to wait around as long as it takes. Now I on the other hand am just waiting for him to stuff up again. But sometimes I wonder if I just decided a long time ago I wasn't going to get past things and I just haven't from there.

So am I crazy. Giving up a relationship that has all the other great things working, especially chemistry because of trust issues? I believe he is a changed man but at my expense and Im sure he would be fantastic to another partner but I can't seem to wipe the slate clean

I think yes but I am finding my self very hard. We were dependant on each other, spent most of our free time with each other, and he moved away with me to try and fix things there for has barely any friends and no family

I just feel like its all glamourous when he is trying so hard to keep me around and I love the attention his wooing gives me. But once the dust settles the issues are still there and flat line is I really dont trust him even with at the moment nothing to not trust him about ( i have all access to his phone email, work etc but i never check things as I am always scared what I will find - its a mental issue due to the past with him)

would appreciate some thoughts
thankyou!!!!

[rainbowdoors]

Id just like to add. Its confusing me alittle because I have never been sure about this relationship and deep down would have doubts. But why am I questioning whether I made the right choice? And find it so hard when he tells me he will fix it and make our relationship work.

[basilandthyme]

we still get along like a house on fire

I used this expression in front of my autistic son on the weekend. He got kinda panicked!

Anyway, I think you've done the right thing. You've given it your best shot and tried to overcome this....but it's not working. If you can't regain the trust, then you're wasting both your time and his.

Just make sure you don't accept any blame for ending things. You've tried your best to overcome HIS bad, but you simply couldn't do it. This isn't your fault. If he tries a guilt trip on you, remind yourself that he's apparently a changed man and as such, shouldn't have trouble finding a new girl.

[pcmaster]

Well as a guy I can say it pretty much sucks when you find path in your life and a girl who is all you need to reach your goals but shes just dont see it or dont wana go with you up to the path of sucsess.

But if you think you gona find someone better one then you probably will.

[michelle23]

I think you have done the right thing. Your relationship will never be 100% because of his behavior in the beginning. No matter what he does he can never make up for it as its too BIG. It is impossible to get over that. You tried but sometimes love is not enough. Its better to walk away, heal and find a man you trust.

Best of luck