Please help out the nice guy

[Fear2Love]

Okay, my situation is pretty unique I'd say. I just very (within the last week) recently ended a relationship that has been over 7 years. I just was not feeling the love there anymore. At the moment I feel like I am at rock bottom and very sad. The light at the end of the tunnel is a girl I have known for a while whom I have always had deep feelings for her, and she has had the same. I feel like this girl is my soul mate. I care about her more than anything. Since I have ended my long term relationship, the girl I have had feelings for and I have re-kindled our friendship and our interest/chemistry together. I will dive deeper into this depending on how good of responses I get... My advice needed is this.... In the past few days she has been seeming to get more and more distant. We both work and are busy, but the cute little texts and calls seem to be less and less in the past couple days and also not very "lovey dovey" as much at all. I am wondering if I am smothering her? Does she need space? Please i need help!

[Cerby]

Not sure what is unique here. You just ended a 7 year relationship, and the last thing this new girl wants to be is a rebound for you. Or she might feel guilty for potentially assisting the demise of a long relationship. Either way, entering a relationship right now is a bad idea for you, and perhaps she senses that.

[Fear2Love]

No you may have read it wrong.. There are 2 girls in the situation.. My ex and I are done, and she is the kind of person where we will now never talk again.. There is a girl who I am crazy for that I have known for a while, and we have been talking so nice and cute now for a little bit... 2 days ago I gave her a kiss and since then I have felt SUCH a distance.. Its killing me inside

[Fear2Love]

Not sure what is unique here. You just ended a 7 year relationship, and the last thing this new girl wants to be is a rebound for you. Or she might feel guilty for potentially assisting the demise of a long relationship. Either way, entering a relationship right now is a bad idea for you, and perhaps she senses that.

I completely agree with her sensing that. I have told her also that lets make this happen right and take things slow for sure. there is a lot more to it, but long story short is this. The girl I now am crazy about has been in a way waiting for me.. No pressure or anything, just waiting there for me if I ever became available and also its not like she ever told me that.. but now that I am available, I would like to see her! i want to so bad, but i just feel her getting more and more distant. Am i smothering her???

[basilandthyme]

I don't know about 'smothering', but the lovey dovey texts are too much, too soon.

[Fear2Love]

I don't know about 'smothering', but the lovey dovey texts are too much, too soon.

Possibly right. What i need to know is do I just talk/text less? let her get a hold of me? let her try to figure out when im open to hang out? What im also worried about is changing the ways I do things with her might steer her away, but also the way I am going about things might be steering her away...

[basilandthyme]

Here's a thought - why don't you talk with her and see how she feels?

[michelle23]

Heres what I want to know. Why would you stay with someone for 7 years if you were unhappy? This sounds like an emotional affair to me where you have left the one you love for the one you like. "soul mates" give me a break!

[Fear2Love]

Thats what i am trying to figure out by the way.. And i was happy for many years.. just wiithin the past year id say i started to feel unhappy. Either way I dont want to lose the girl I like so does anyone have any advice on how to make her want to long for me? I really have no experience in this knowing that I have been with the same girl my whole adult life.. plz help

[Cerby]

Heres what I want to know. Why would you stay with someone for 7 years if you were unhappy? This sounds like an emotional affair to me where you have left the one you love for the one you like. "soul mates" give me a break!

Sometimes it is easier to stay and keep everything the same instead of making a break for it into the unknown. I did it for 3 years in my early 20s, its funny how quickly that time went by, and how hard it was to leave.

[Wakeup]

What i wan't to understand is why did he let this girl come between him and his relationship? According to his other thread that is the same as this one, he was trying to work on his relationship when the new girl interloped and then he forgot about who he was with for 7 years and jumped ship.

I suspect this new girl sussed out his inability to be alone. Not attractive (at least not to me).

As always with most people who only want you when it appears they can't have you, you need to be completely aloof about her and make her come to you. She only wants you when she thinks you're with someone. Says a lot about her character to, actually.

Adding:

Thats what i am trying to figure out by the way.. And i was happy for many years.. just wiithin the past year id say i started to feel unhappy. Either way I dont want to lose the girl I like so does anyone have any advice on how to make her want to long for me? I really have no experience in this knowing that I have been with the same girl my whole adult life.. plz help

Yea.. like I said, you allowed this new girl to build an emotional wedge between you and your longterm gf. You admit in your other thread that very thing.