no advances from girlfriend

[pocquet]

Hi,

I hope you are all well and thanks for reading.

I have been with my gf for 5 years. Im 29nand she is 35. No children. Living together in own house foe the last 3 years.

Firsty I want to say she is wonderful and I know I love her to peices n vice versa. No chance of cheating or suspicion. Our relationship other than below is fantastic.

Right my problem.

Our sex life has been good if not as frequent as I would like but thats ok. Maybe once a week to once twice a week. The problem is I have to ask for a kiss or a cuddle. She will push my hands away if I touch her no matter where on her body and (nicely) asks me to stop. This happens alot as I enjoy physical contact with her both sexually and none.
I am niw at a stage where a hour ago I went for a cuddle she batted me away and I appoligised only for her to ask I dont make her feel guilty.

This has been gradule process. I dont want to make it a topic if disscusion between us as I dontbwant her to feel bad about it.
I have started to loose alot of confidence because of it.

When it comes to sex that has gradually become less n less frequent, not for lack of trying in my part (but not pestering) she makes no advances towards me, well it has happend 3 times in years. She allways enjoys sex but she cums very quickley and is over sensitive afterwards n not intrested if we take a break. I, sadly, have allot of stamina and cant cum in under 30 seconds like she can. She im sure then feels bad. She use to guve me handjob after but that stopped fairley recently, never oral ever.

I feel like I force sex on her even though this is not the case, I tried not to approach her for sex or anything else but its very hard not to want to touch some one you love.

We spend time together when we can iur working hours are a bit out of alignment but not much.

The only criticism I have is jn the evenings she enjoys soaps, all of them so 3 hours a night or more. I can only srand so much so I will entertain myself by reading or going to bed to watch stuff on my tablet.

We have a wonderful relationship but I do feel some times im just here to help pay the morgage
Any advice is welcome
Thanks
Jon

[Ann S]

"I dont want to make it a topic if disscusion between us as I dontbwant her to feel bad about it."

This is a recipe for a lousy relationship. Why are you so chicken to discuss something so important? And I have NEVER known a woman who an come in under 30 seconds who isn't faking it! I'm not hearing that you have a wonderful relationship. I think you are in a Reality Distortion System, where denial about how difficult this situation is for you, runs the show. And, if this is what it's like three years in, it's only going to get worse. You have some decisions to make: are you going to sign up to have this sexual struggle for many more years? You are not getting your needs met. Perhaps, time to move on! Ann

[Woods]

Yep, think it's very unlikely for a woman who seemingly isn't into sex to come in 30 seconds. It could be that she is very sensitive down there and says she has come so that you stop. There is something she is not telling you here. Why doesn't she like to be touched? How does she feel about oral and sex? It could be rooted in her upbringing or previous relationships. It's not the easiest conversation but it should help you understand. Then from there ask her what she would like more of, what would make it more enjoyable for her etc.

[searock]

Original thread: http://www.loveforum.net/threads/79849-no-advances-from-girlfriend

[michelle23]

I agree she is probably faking it.

You cant ignore the issue. Your not happy and you do need to talk about it. Y are you double posting-i think you got good advice last timeyou posted this thread.

Are you afraid to communicate? You can either ignore the fact shes not affectionate, not into sex and selfsh and continue to get mmore and more miserable, break up with her or try to fix it through comunication, sex therapy, relationship counselling-whatever it takes.

There your options-pick one.

Its pointless complaining about it if your not gonna do anything about it so either put up with it or take action.

[lostlub]

Hi dude, let me try to help you out here. I think you should find time and talk to her discuss what's been going on in her head. Try and understand her, make her talk to you else you will never get what you want. you don't ask, u don't get it - in return, relationship between two of you will turn sour. Talk to her her and find out what her underlying concerns on why her interest has went downhill. who knows there could be issues she doesn't want you to know. Good luck

[HeartIsAching]

Rehash of an old thread. He didn't like the answers so he's trying again.

Dumbass.