First post here, should I have not been married?

[boatin]

I've been married just over a year now, and she's a great woman by all accounts. Before we were married we dated for a little over 3 years. She had always said she wasn't going to live with a guy before marriage, and I always said I'd never marry someone that I didn't live with first. Well I gave in on that one and we lived separate until we were married. So now a year into it and I'm somewhat regretting my decision, and I don't know what to do or to think. As I said she's a great girl, I just feel like our lifestyles don't "mesh" well. She's happy staying home most of the time just watching TV or doing puzzles or whatever. I'd much prefer finding things to do, to stay busy all the time. I work a lot, 60-70 hours a week. So when I'm not bound to work I don't want to just sit and do nothing. She doesn't give me a hard time if i go out on my own or with friends, but it only seems to happen once or twice a month. I feel bad going without her. I'm feeling stuck in bored-land after only a year. I'm not a planner, aside from work I don't often know what I'm going to do this next week, this weekend, or even tomorrow. She likes to be planned and organized to the max. If we are going out on a Saturday she likes to know by about Wednesday, and I just can't do that. I don't know what to do. I can't stress enough that she's not doing anything wrong at all, but I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong either. Ideas, thoughts, comments?

[HeartIsAching]

Communicate your frustrations with her clearly, and without attack. Use "I Statements": http://www.humanpotentialcenter.org/Articles/IStatements.html

Try and work out a compromise. Possibly you two should see a marriage counselor and learn to communicate with each other more effectively.

[michelle23]

this isnt a big deal and can be easily resolved through communication and compromise. its defo not worth giving up on your marriage.

some people have real problems and i think your expectations of your wife are too high. if your relationship is great in every other way and shes great then ithink your making a mountain out of a molehill here. try to focus on the positives, all the things you love about her, y you married her etc and try not to focus on the negatives.

also you should take the initiate and just say "im taking you out sat-its a surprise" and aim to do something fun and different each time. go to a pantomine, opera, ballet, dinner, a wine bar, cinema, picnic, museum etc etc. try to become the planner-most women love that and shell appreciate the effort.

good luck