what is this girl doing and how do i stop it?!

[sweetmama83]

There is this girl that started at my boyfriends work about 4 months ago, me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year but we broke up for a month in march. we have started seeing eachother again but last night he was telling me about how this girl at work is with him. apparetly the day after we broke up she took him shopping for "retail therapy" and made him buy really tight tshirts which he would never normally wear, (he usally wears M-L sizes but she made him buy everything small because hes been going to the gym and has become really fit and muscley.) my boyfriend said they only went shopping for an hour but then said how she had lied to her own boyfriend about where she was (told him she was in a meeting at work).
a few weeks before we broke up my boyfriend told me that she turned round to him and said "youve been working out havent you, you should take ur shirt off and show us whats underneath". my boyfriend just want "err thanks" and went back to work.
i dont really get what is happening here, they work together every day and i cant go see him at his work (we arent allowed) so its not like i can go and give her a "hands off my boyfriend type look". but also why is my boyfriend telling me she is doing this? oh and finally hes telling me how he feels sorry for her because her boyfriend is really controlling over her..shes really starting to piss me off. weve been togther a year and have known eachother 10 years, we lost our virginity togther (10 years ago) and i was his 1st love but never properly got together until this year.
x

[_Richard]

You need to talk to him about this.

He needs to know that you feel uncomfortable, not because you don't trust him but because you don't trust her or her motives.

These conversations can be difficult to get right but it's important to get him to see things from your perspective. You obviously know him a lot better than we do.

How do you think he'll react if you talk to him? Will he get annoyed and say that you don't trust him or does he have the sensitivity to think about how he'd feel if there was a guy where you work doing the same kind of thing?

We can't stop people being attracted to our partners but we can talk to our partners about how we'd like them to behave when it becomes obvious that someone does. And similarly how they'd like us to behave if someone starts showing that they like us.

Good open communication is the key here.

[michelle23]

this girl is coming onto him. Shes confiding in him about problems in her relationship in the hope bell save her. she has motives and that is an escape affair with your man coz she wont leave er man unless she has someone to run to.

the fact "he feels sorry for her" is a major red flag and this could turn into an emotional affair real fast.

you need to tell him straight your uncomfortable with this and you need him to tell her to go and tell someone else about her "controlling bf" as he is in a committed relationship and doesnt have time to be dealing with her issues. he can put it as nicely as he likes but he does have to make it clear to her that he is not interested and that they cannot be friends or hang out.

if he cannot see where your coming from or refuses to tell her to back off-you need to end the relationship. otherwise you will get hurt.

if he gets defensive or angry its a sign of guilt. he could already have feelings for her or something could have happened so you need to end it in this instance too.

however, if he agrees that shes out of line and he will tell her to back off-id say you and he are okay.

[Boisdevie]

me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year but we broke up for a month in march. we have started seeing eachother again

Why did you break up for a month. That is one of the big issues that needs dealing with. As well as this other girl who's obviously trying to get her hands down yer boyfriends pants.