Should I tell my ex she took my virginity?

[DrRSA]

Hi everyone,

So in short, my ex and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. She has been my 3rd girlfriend, but I've never had sex before until her. However (before we even dated) I had always told her and everyone that I lost my virginity to my 2nd girlfriend, I guess from an insecure issue that I have. Sadly I've never had the courage to tell her that she is the first girl I ever slept with.

So my question is this: Should I tell her she took my virginity? I feel horrible for not telling the truth all this time, but I just felt embarrassed about it. I love her to death and still want to be with her.

If it helps, we dated for nearly 4 months and I'm 23 (she is 22).

[Love'sReject]

**** no. You're broken up.

[Ann S]

Why would you ever consider doing this? You and your ex are history. Move on. Ann

[AvaMo]

of course you should tell her, that makes her special in a way the no one else could ever be!

[michelle23]

No dont, if you were still together-Id say yes tell the truth but its not a good idea to tell her now. She wont understand why you lied.

[Wakeup]

It would be very manipulative for you to tell her now that she's no longer your girlfriend and you know that or this thread wouldn't exist, you wouldn't be subconciously looking for permission to be weasle like and you'd have already told her.

What is your reasoning for wanting to tell her this now? What do you think it would accomplish?

[pcmaster]

Well if its bothering you and you want her back than tell her. Its been just a few weeks, theres still way back. Anyway dont expect anything just keep living your life dont pause it for lottery cause theres no quarantee she comes back. Just tell her all you want and leave it and forget it.

[michelle23]

4 months-breakup. There is NO way back. maybe if they were together 4 years-there might be a chance

[pcmaster]

They slept together. Thats means there was connection and it is possible to get back together. Remember Kromat? There was way back even if he was together with a girl just for a month(she connacted him few months after breakup). That means 4 months relationship should work even better.

[DrRSA]

Thanks for the input, everyone. Basically I do really want her back. We broke up because "she wasn't ready for me" and that I was "too perfect." She said that there still is a future with me, but she wants to do her own thing right now. I really truly care about her and love her. I just feel like maybe she deserves to know? And yes, I regret not telling her while we were dating, I understand that it wasn't right of me. Regardless of whether or not we get back together, I just felt like it might be something she ought to know, so that's why I'm asking opinions on what others would do in my position.

[michelle23]

all those reason she gave was just letting you down gently. its over

[pcmaster]

That means you have to do your own thing aswell. You have more chance to get her back by getting grip on your life and showing that you are doing great on your own. Ofcourse dont contact her, let her come back if she want but be a man and dont run after female. Still if you want to tell her something than do it, fact that you was a virgin wont change anything its more about getting it off your chest.

So yeah thats what I basicaly would do - get back to life, write her a letter and leave it like that, erasing everything that reminds me of her, trowing out any stuff sensitive for memories.

[Love'sReject]

of course you should tell her, that makes her special in a way the no one else could ever be!

I disagree. Telling exes anything like this gives them huge leverage. Bad idea...

[Wakeup]

Thanks for the input, everyone. Basically I do really want her back. We broke up because "she wasn't ready for me" and that I was "too perfect." She said that there still is a future with me, but she wants to do her own thing right now. I really truly care about her and love her. I just feel like maybe she deserves to know? And yes, I regret not telling her while we were dating, I understand that it wasn't right of me. Regardless of whether or not we get back together, I just felt like it might be something she ought to know, so that's why I'm asking opinions on what others would do in my position.

The reason you "think she ought to know" is because you "think" that it will somehow make her want you back. Generally, girls don't hold much stock in being some guys first. Her knowing won't indear you to her much so keep it to yourself, move on and show the next girl your experience. This one is done and you'll get over her quick if you stop hoping, accept its done and then start pursuing someone new when you're feeling your confidence is back.