In need of urgent cheating advice!!!

[Unlucky88]

I wondered if any one could help me because right now my mind is blank and I dont know how to handle my situation I only have 2hrs till he is home so I need to come up with something quick!
My story is......
Me and my partner have been together for a year. I have a son and daughter from a previous relationship there father has no contact with them might I add my daughter is disabled and my son has never met him as he walked out towards the end of my pregnancy.

My current partner has been amazing with the kids and my son is calling him dad as he s the only constant male that's been in my life. My partner was very happy about this and wanted a child with me to be a complete family.
Anyway a few months ago I had this gut feeling checked his phone and caught him sending pic of himself and receiving pics from this woman I believe it was only messages as she live far away. Confronted him he apologised was so upset said he'd never do it again. Well recently I started to notice white stains in his underwear on days that we have had no intercross and any way he puts them on when he gets out of bed and bath as soon as he gets home one day I picked up his dirty clothes when he was in the bath and his underwear was still damp confronted him he denied anything and said he didn't no why they was like it since then this gut feeling hasn't stopped I have bit lip but started to get bitter.
He usually calls me on his breaks at 10.30 and 1 today he calls me at 10.30 for a hat then tells me he is going to the drs on lunch so he will call me about ten to 1. Alarm bells rang he never goes to the drs then checked the drs website and they close at 12.45 for lunch so I decided to spy on him and park in the car park around the corner from his work where I found him walking through the car park to a woman's car at that point I drove off as he was very close to where I was and didn't want to get caught. I got a phone call at 1.25 when he got back to his work and I asked how his drs went he told me all about his appointment.

What do I do? He will try and deny it that's for certain. Do I pack his bags ready for when he comes home or bide my time??? Might I add I'm 8 weeks pregnant which he is also awear of ?
Please help

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Bide your time for what?

If you don't trust him, just end it. Might want to end your pregnancy too, so you don't have 3 kids with no father, but you have way more parenting experience than I, so that's on you.

[michelle23]

Okay you wont find proof of cheating in his underwear so do not bother checking those again. That is being crazy. If he was cheating do you think he would be wearing them?

Look you already found out he was texting someone and now you no longer trust him. Do you really see a future with this relationship? You should have kicked him out as soon as you saw that red flag. Now he thinks your a doormat and thinks youll put up with anything and the fact your pregnant makes you even more vulnerable coz he thinks you wont leave with a baby on the way.

Can you handle 3 kids alone? This is a messy situation. But you cannot stay with a man that you dont trust, a man you are checking up on all the time and following around. It is not a healthy relationship and not good for your unborn child.

The trust is gone-if it were me I would kick him out and have an abortion. Sounds shocking I know but you already wasted a lot of time on one asshole. Do you want to go through all that again?

It sounds like you need to change your type. Your attracting the wrong ones for some reason

[Unlucky88]

I feel as though I am going crazy I have ever had trust issues. When my perilous partner walked out i accepted it in time and was very firm with myself not to bring my past into my future so I had no trust issues I thought he was so brilliant he woowed me well and truly and the way he has been with the kids is amazing but I think from researching he has cheated in all his past relationships I just had this gut feeling that was driving me crazy. The other thing that i suppose worries me is I feel so week and he is very cleaver at mentally getting into my head I know he is going to Deny it and I know it will all be my fault and I will be the crazy one he will probably say to me he can't handle me accusing him so he is leaving me to which he will go back to his mum and dads dropped stuff off then sit in his local pub and drink himself silly where I'll probably get loads of mind messing text messages

[Wakeup]

Ahhh, you dont' want another baby daddy for your little boy. Don't do anything too rash as all you seen is his spermy underware and him in a car with another woman. That doesn't prove a thing. Call up the team of the T.V. Show "Cheaters" to stalk his ass. Then when they find him getting a bj in this ladies car, you can run your pregnant self over to his car and beat him about the head with your favourite skillet. Win/Win.

[michelle23]

OP you know he is cheating. You are not crazy. You dont need anymore proof-just kick the prick out, change the locks and decide whether you are going to keep the baby or not. You already know deep down that he is. I always say follow your instincts. You can do better than this so get rid of him.

[Wakeup]

http://www.tv.com/shows/cheaters/

Go for it, Op.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Wakeup, did you know that the new host of Cheaters is Clark Gable's grandson, aptly named, Clark Gable?!?! I know. Head explosion.

[Wakeup]

bahahahahahha!

[michelle23]

ive seen that show a few times. i think its stupid though and humiliating and they are always right. think you should just follow your instincts. its pointless waiting around for proof when you already no the truth deep down.

id just kick him out, change the locks and start healing so one day i can meet a better man.. i dont believe in settling. its BS

[Wakeup]

What? And miss meeting Clark Gable's grandson? No way.. ya gotta be sure before you uproot yourself and your weeee kiddies like that, Op. Can you at least afford a private detective? Might as well have photos to show the judge.

[michelle23]

she is sur-shes just in denial. thats y shes gone crazy looking for proof coz she feels like she needs it before making a decision.

plus he has already shown her what hes capable of when she found that stuff on his phone. time is ticking. the OP has a lot of quick decisions to make and the biggest one concerns the child growing inside her. i would just kick him the f uck out and focus on herself and those precious kiddies. you need a man to rear children with-not a f ucking little boy!

get rid of the cunt and find yourself someone better

[Wakeup]

Do it Op... call a PI or cheaters.

Oh, and don't forget to call a lawyer to find out your rights and your doctor to arrange a tubaligation so that you don't add to your baby daddy number...

Three kids is enough for any single mother.. don't you agree?

Adding: If you do nothing else, call a lawyer. You're going to need child support payments firmly in place and visitation rights and schedules arranged that are mutually agreeable to the the two of you. Three kids and no emotional, physical or financial support is daunting to the best of independent women out there.

Or, you could tell him what you know and see if councelling is something that would help the two of you to reconnect and get back on track if you know yourself and can be sure that you can forgive and trust again and he can learn to communicate so he doesn't get his needs met through other women but rather talks to you and makes things right before the thought crosses his mind. All up to you and he, Op. Doing nothing really isn't an answer at this point.

[michelle23]

ppfft counselling is for before the affair begins-not after. its a waste of time. it doesnt take away the pain or the mis-trust. children or no children-id be gone

[Wakeup]

Yes, Op: Michelle would be gone. That's her perogative but she isn't you nor does she have two children and one on the way. You may not think like her because you have two children and one on the way and the men you've been with seem to have "been gone" on you as a pattern. I think you'd do well to get some personal therapy so that you learn to pick better men and to know that protecting yourself from getting pregnant is a pretty good idea when the man who wants a baby with you hasn't even married you yet. I know here where I'm from after three years of living together, you would have all the same rights to property division and parental rights as if you were married. Is it the same for you there where you live?

Anyway. Your call what YOU do. Just bloody do something because sweeping his shit under the rug doesn't make it go away. Your children deserve to have a steady, positive male role model in their life so keep that in mind while you decide how you're going to confront Mr. Stained Drawers. If you can't forgive and forget then at least be more discerning in who you allow to father your children. It will work out better for you in the long run if you do.

I wish you well.