There's a lot going on

[petertodd]

There's this girl that I met during the beginning of my freshman year. Let's call her Stacy. I thought that she was really cute when I met her. I asked friends of hers if she had a boyfriend. And one of those friends was her boyfriend lol. I really wanted to date her during my freshman year. But, I didn't act out on my feelings because she already had a boyfriend. What made it worse was that they were always fighting. Near the end of my freshman year I asked my academic advisor for advice. She asked me if I would be ok with just being friends with her. If not, I would have to distance myself from her because this was a situation that I had no control over according to her. I realized then that I could just be friends with her. So I decided to move on. Me and Stacy have gotten much closer as friends.

I started talking to another girl. We hung on a few dates. That didn't work out because she wasn't really taking my affection seriously. I talked to a few of my friends about it, including Stacy. They told me that she was leading me on so I stopped talking to her for a while. I started talking to another girl later in the semester. But, it turned out that she was only attracted to my physical appearance. After that, I took a break from the dating scene. I'm starting to think about Stacy again in terms of dating her but not in the same exact way. During my freshman year they were feelings of desire. This time it's coming from a sense a comfort. I mean comfort in terms of the fact that she's been my friend through thick and thin.

This really upsets me because I feel that I'm starting to fall for her again. Her boyfriend and I have also gotten closer as friends so I don't want to risk ruining two of my friendships. I also started to have a new crush on this girl. Let's call her Carla. And I don't want to start getting to know Carla more and end up asking her out if I'm still confused about the way I feel about Stacy. I know I have strong feelings for Stacy. But, I'm not sure if it's feelings of best-friend love or dating/affectionate love.

My question to all of you is this: How do I tackle this situation?

[FlaCooln]

Dude...your over analyzing all of it IMHO.

I would detach yourself from Stacy and if you do hangout only when her BF is around. Go out with Carla. Stop worrying so much. You are in college...get drunk, have lots of safe/protected sex, and enjoy yourself. Don't pine after a taken girl. I am sure there are a TON of available women at your college and it does not seem like you have much trouble attracting them, so go for it.

College is awesome, I went to a big state school and had a blast. Don't by any means turn into a man whore. Just be yourself and continue being a good guy. Good guys get laid too.

[petertodd]

Thank you for the advice FlaCooln. It's a good perspective on the situation. I honestly never thought of a perspective like that. I appreciate your help =)

[FlaCooln]

No problem man, my pleasure. I've been where you are, so I know how you feel. But, college is so social it is very easy to find the next one and move on.