Help! Woman making me crazy with her logic!!

[jollyman]

There is a bob and Jane. Who been friends long time , till Jane started having feelings for bob! But bob just wanted friendship and Jane didn't really care , so a few times she tried to seduce bob into fondling her and grouping her leading to sex , but bob was to smart to fall for her tricks so bob was a good boy and restrained him self . Jane eventually got the hint and stopped trying ! Then they just became Friends and she knew her place . One day Jane brought over mary! A beautiful enchanted princess , bobs eyes sparkled like fire works when he first saw her , bob got weak in the knees from her smile , and bobs heart melted after he *found out she single ! Bob ad mary hooked up !!! Now Jane was happy for them and asked bob not to talk about her previous attempts of trying to get with him , she said it was in the past , nothing happened and no need to concern mary with such thoughts especially because nothing happenened. *It would just weird things between their friendship, so it's better left unsaid . Bob thought since nothing happened its not really anything to even bring up an saw no harm in keeping it from mary. There are many instances of girls coming on to bob , but bob is wise ad brushes them off because they aren't te right ones , now are all of those instances worth bringin up? Escpially if nothing happened an bob was a good boy!*

Mary says ! how dare you keep that from me !
Bob says : Keep what ? nothing happened and it was before i met you
Mary says: doesn't matter shes my bestfriend and you should've told me sooner
bob says: but i didn't think it was such a big deal ? and i wanted to respect your freinds wishes ?
Mary : Gives bob cold shoulder and attitude and becomes mean and vicious to him , to make him suffer! Mary goes out with the best friend instead of visiting BOB!!

Bob : just keeps his head down in saddness hoping mary will wake up and realize shes way out of line and punishing bob for something not even worth punishing for!

Now mary did have past expericnes with x boyfriends who cheated on her with her friends! so bob can understand that much! but still inexcusable!
Who is right? Who is Out of line ?

[michelle23]

does it matter whoos right or wrong. does bob want to lose mary? if not i sugest he tries to understand that this really upsets her and swallow his pride and apologize. otherwise mary will start to think hes an insensitive untrustworthy ass who keeps secrets.

in future if someone comes onto bob-he should tell mary just so she doesnt have to hear it from someone else

[jollyman]

does it matter whoos right or wrong. does bob want to lose mary? if not i sugest he tries to understand that this really upsets her and swallow his pride and apologize. otherwise mary will start to think hes an insensitive untrustworthy ass who keeps secrets.

in future if someone comes onto bob-he should tell mary just so she doesnt have to hear it from someone else

"does it matter whoos right or wrong"

Of course it does ! society operates on a medium based on whats right and wrong. Everyday you go to work , every public service you use , how you behave in public , what is appropriate behavoir etc. Everything is based on right or wrong in life , why am i gonna stop that logic when it comes to realtionships ? So yes it does matter !


"does bob want to lose mary? "

Of course not , but does bob want an irrational woman ? who will abuse other problems that might come about ? If you give a woman a cm she will want a meter , if you give her a meter she will ask for a mile! How can you let that wild stallion looose with no saddle ? you just don't.....



"if not i sugest he tries to understand that this really upsets her and swallow his pride and apologize"

Yes upsets the little princess boo hooo......sometimes you have to put your foot down and say NO! like to a child , who always gets what he wants , till one day he wants something that daddy doesn't wanna get! and has to put his foot down !

Apologize ? for what bob did nothing wrong to her , bobs only fault was breaking the other girls trust by telling the girl he is with now! Which means the apology if any should be to girl one who tried to make the move! Not to curent girl!

Bob rejected her...

bob was faithful before even knowing mary existed...

jane made the move before she met mary ...

lol how dare you ask for apology , bob is innocent humble man!




"otherwise mary will start to think hes an insensitive untrustworthy ass who keeps secrets. "

a girl making an attempt is not a secret ... its ya meh one of those things.. espically if it happens alot , but the guy is smart enough to hardly notice it let alone remember it as a "secret"

untrustworthy? how dare!! bob wasn't even suppose to say anything but he did because he wanted everything on the table!

why would bob say anything if he thought it was in the secret zone , or even something to hide :o

thanks for the reply but the reasoning is purely emotional !

[TablesandChairs]

Mary is being unreasonable. The past is the past. Secondly, nothing actually happened. Mary would do well to understand you were respecting your long-time friends wishes, especially since nothing actually happened.

Thirdly, and this is the important bit: it would have been okay for her to calmly say "hmm I wish you'd told me, I feel a bit weird around Jane now...but yes, I understand it's not a huge deal from what you have explained". However, she had a big tantrum over it which is very dramatic.

So, now you know she has a temper and is prone to acting dramatically. You also know she has issues from past relationships.

What I would say/do:

"Look, Mary. I was respecting Jane's wishes. As I have said previously, nothing ever happened as I declined Jane's advances and was not interested in her in that way - with or without you, I would have never/would never do anything with Jane.

If Mary continues to over-react, well...you have options.

[michelle23]

Its not emotional. Mary has made it clear that she wants 100% honesty. That is important to her. She is asking Bob not to keep such secrets in future. Now that they both understand that this is a relationship boundary-it will help to avoid future misunderstandings.

That is all this is-a big misunderstanding and yes Bob did nothing wrong but Mary does not understand why he kept this from her.

If Bob keeps getting defensive pounding on his chest, jumping up and down and saying "Im right and shes wrong" he will push Mary away. Mary is hurt and wants Bob to understand why-that is all. All Bob needs to say is "okay I understand why you are upset and in future if anything like that happens again-I will tell you the truth"

[HeartIsAching]

HIA doesn't give enough of a shit to read that.

[jollyman]

Thank you for the reply , this is what i was thinking same way , and i did tell her that as you stated . But she doesn't care . Shes still stuck up on , why would you hide it from me .. and doesnt wanna see past it sadly :*(

[jollyman]

yes we all want 100 percent honesty ... but when your girl puts on that ugly dress you hate , that she loves to peices .. do you tell her "hey can i use that rag to wash my car" , or " hunnie you look great?" ?

woman want 100 percent honesty , but play the craziest mind games to make you think other wise. Yes it will avoid future misunderstandings because bob will never even think about doing that again

bob doesn't need to stand up and pound his chest , because logically bob is right , nothing happened . Plenty of girls hit on bob , no need to call CNN and make a report ....

Emotionally she is right...

But emotions cloud judgement , which would explain her reaction ..

but yes i will tell her

""okay I understand why you are upset and in future if anything like that happens again-I will tell you the truth" "

thanks

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Mary is a cunt.

[michelle23]

i would prefer if my bf told me "that dress is ugly" lol even though i dont have any ugly clothes but ya if i did-id rather hed tell me then let me go out looking like a prized prat.

the only lie your allowed tell is if she looks fat. thats it-you say "no baby your beautiful"

[HeheMan]

To be honest I don't see what the big deal is. Sure, I can understand if Mary feels a little insecure and her ego is a bit threatened by it, but her reaction is very dramatic and way out of proportion... which leads me to believe that this is one of those famous "Shit Tests" that women throw at men*. Basically she's testing you to see what sort of man you are.

(*And if it's not just a "Shit Test", then the only other explanation is that this woman is a drama queen or just outright crazy!)

Now, look at michelle23's response. This is a perfect example of what's called emotional blackmail. She even says out right - It doesn't matter who's right or wrong. The woman is upset!!!! So you had better shape up and apologize** and make nice-nice or you're gonna lose the woman.

(**Even though you did nothing wrong.)

Here's the choices:

1) You can apologize and supplicate. This will set the tone for the rest of the relationship - she'll quickly realize that she can beat you into line by throwing a temper tantrum.
2) You can stand your ground. Either a) you'll lose the woman, but from the way it sounds you have no shortage of suitors b) she'll come around and realize that this sort of behavior is unacceptable in your relationship.

I say you stand your ground in a calm, rational, polite way. Remember, this is your life we're talking about and you have every right to decide what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in your relationships. If Mary refuses to calm down and realize she's being silly... well there are plenty of fish in the sea for you.

[Wakeup]

If you give a woman a cm she will want a meter , if you give her a meter she will ask for a mile!

... and if you give a man an inch, he thinks he's a ruler.

nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Her: Do these pants make my ass look fat?
Him No, your fat ass makes your ass look fat!

[HeartIsAching]

Give a woman an inch, and she wants 8".

[Wakeup]

.... lolzz ....