Family's needs are more important

[Linnea]

I've beenw ith my boyfriend for a year and a half and we're really close, talk about marriage and all that so we are really serious. I love him to death but he always puts his family's needs in front of mine. Like he'd cancel plans with me last minute and drop everything to do something for someone in his family and won't even apologize for it. He thinks it's perfectly fine. I mean i think it's great and a good sign that he;s so fmaily oriented but sometimes he takes it too far and really hurts me and makes me feel unimporatant. And i do sooo much for him, i put him before everything and everyone so when he does stuff like this it's really insulting and it hurts me. When i tell him this, he still doesn't feel like there is anything wrong with his actions, he just says well i'm really close with my family blah blah. When i know his brothers or sister wouldn;t drop everything for him but he;d do it for him even if he really hurts me in the process. I just don't get it, am i wrong to be feeling this way?

[mini696]

My family's controlling. Maybe his is too, and he feels like they will dis-own him if he doesn't help.

What sort of things is he being asked to do by them?

Mick
Give him a family of his own to look after.

[Linnea]

My family's controlling. Maybe his is too, and he feels like they will dis-own him if he doesn't help.

What sort of things is he being asked to do by them?

Mick
Give him a family of his own to look after.

His family isn't controlling. I have asked him before if he's scared to say no when they ask him to do something and he said in no way is he scared to say no to them; he just feels like he needs to do things for his family when they need him. They ask him to do alll kinda of stuff, it ranges from like big favours to little favours. But they always end up ruining our plans that we had made, and he doesn't feel the need to apologize. Another thing is, we don;t see each other very often. He works full time and goes to school and he lives in the city while i live in a suburb, so there is a bit of distance between us so it makes it hard to see each other. so, when we do make plans i look forward to them cuz i don't get to see him as often as i'd like and when he breaks them it really hurts me bad.

[Junket]

What's his birthorder?

Oldest?

Middle?

Youngest?

Maybe that has something to do with it.

[marcus23]

Well, I'm not sure how often he's doing for his family. But it seems to me that it's normal to help his family. Some people are very family oriented.

[Linnea]

What's his birthorder?

Oldest?

Middle?

Youngest?

Maybe that has something to do with it.

there's four kids in his family, he's the second youngest.