No idea what to do?! HELP!

[gemma110]

Ok, so this is a long story (sorry!!)...Just for the record, I have never been in a relationship before primarily because I've previously been a bit under confident and wanted to get my education sorted first (I will be graduating this year#

But, in the last year or so, I noticed that one of my friends and I were getting closer and closer. I've known him since I was in high school and everyone in our group of friends went to different uni's, so everytime we are all home we meet up. It started that we would meet up with our other friends and me and him would end up laughing and joking and having a really good time, as friends do...Then we would spend more time talking to each other than anyone else...Then after a few months we were meeting up without telling our other friends #He has been known to do things like travel 200 miles to see me just for a few hours, spend all evening texting me when he's out with friends on a night out, and speak to me online every day#....And by a few weeks ago we were 'joking' about being in a relationship.
He has been down to uni #200 miles from where he lives# to see me, and met my friends, and they have since said that they think that he and I should be together, and that we are perfect for each other...So we were now at that stupid point where everyone else was pointing it out to us!

When I came home this week, him and I came to a mutual agreement that we really should be together. This is where the problem lies....We said 4 days ago that we would "make it official", and I haven't seen him since. It is clear that he likes me, from things he has said/done in the past. But he doesn't seem overly enthusiastic about meeting up with me at the moment #even though I am only home a few days!# he seems to just be really not bothered by it all, and it's really stressing me out!..


I really do like him and it seems that in the past I have gone out of my way to spend time with him. But the biggest problem is that I just still can't picture us together. I can't imagine kissing him yet, let alone doing anything else. But weirdly, I can imagine us being a couple, doing couple things. I keep thinking that I should be with someone more similar to me (I am a creative and very determined and productive, he is a scientist and pretty lazy if I'm honest!!)...But I can't stop thinking about him! Can I not imagine us together because I have never been in a relationship before? Does this seem like a relationship that could work? I just don't know what to do....Any advice?!

[searock]

I think he's just as nervous as you are, this may be why he hasn't met you yet. Would this be his first relationship too?

I fell in love with my best friend a few years ago, and I also couldn't imagine us two kissing - I mean, I would always imagine it as something really awkward and embarrassing, since we were such close friends. But I definitely was attracted to him. So, are you attracted to him?

If you are attracted to him, I think you should make the first move and ask him to meet. One of you has to be brave enough to take the first step :-).

[michelle23]

ya i agree. he may be just as confused and nervous as you are. have you asked him to meet? if not, just do it and then kiss him when it feels right.

the only way to shift from just friends to more than that is to just be very affectionate towards each other until it feels natural. try to ignore the awkwardness and thw what ifs and just relax. enjoy it.

good luck

[gemma110]

Yeah, you're both right :-) I think because we have known each other for so long it feels awkward, but hopefully I will manage to see him between now and next week when I go back to uni, and we'll both feel better about it :-) Fingers crossed :-P

Thanks for your advice!!

[michelle23]

Your welcome. Its obvious that he really likes you and hes probably terrified hell mess it up so you take the lead and be aggressive with him