Girlfriend wants a threesome

[conkbabes]

Hi Anne,

I was with my girlfriend last night and we were talking about maybe going on holiday in the near future.

We then started talking about threesomes somehow, my girlfriend then went on to say that she would have a threesome if we went on holiday and nobody from back home would find out.

This really freaked me out but I stayed calm and started to ask her more details, She then said that she would want it to me a MMF (male male female) threesome not a FFM.

I then told her that I really didn't like the idea of this and the thought of her being with another guy actually gives me a chill. I wouldn't even want to have a FFM threesome with her. Like I love her and only want to make love to her.

I then asked her "Would you seriously have sex with another guy?" I think at this point she could see it was really bothering me and started to make excuses like "Oh I don't even know if I'd have one".

I'm really just having serious doubts about our relationship now. Like she has all these hidden desires and that I'm not enough for her.

I don't know if she really is the girl for me anymore. The idea of her wanting a threesome seriously puts me off.

Please advise me.
Thanks.

[michelle23]

You should talk properly about this. Tell her straight you are not into that and you never want to share her with anyone. Ask her is this just a silly fantasy or is it something she really wants and tell her to be honest. If it is something she really wants-then you are not compatible and you should break up.

Some girls bring this stuff up to test you and they are hoping you will say no but that's normally when they want a FFM threesome so id say it is possible that she was being serious.

[conkbabes]

You should talk properly about this. Tell her straight you are not into that and you never want to share her with anyone. Ask her is this just a silly fantasy or is it something she really wants and tell her to be honest. If it is something she really wants-then you are not compatible and you should break up.

Some girls bring this stuff up to test you and they are hoping you will say no but that's normally when they want a FFM threesome so id say it is possible that she was being serious.

Thanks for the response. I did tell her straight up and asked her just to tell me the truth. She said she didn't mean anything by it that she just said it rather flippantly.
However I'm unsure if I believe her, I think she just realized it really bothered me. I'm just wondering if there is any way I can try catch her out to really find out how she feels I guess.

[michelle23]

Tell her you'll do it and see how she reacts? if she seems excited/happy then you'll know she is serious about it and you will know for sure you are not compatible.

Just say "babe, Ive been thinking a lot about what you suggested and I think Id be up for it as long as nobody finds out". And then when she thinks your on board you can ask all the questions that's going through your head and get honest answers.

Act like your cool with the whole thing and wait until you know for sure whether she really wants to or not before telling her you lied and you really do not want to do that

[Starnique]

I would never ask a man of mine to participate in a threesome with another man. I wouldnt even want to do it. Maybe a chic but I have to pick her. I have a home girl of mine and she like mess like that.

[Wakeup]

I don't recommend you play shit games with her, conk by saying you'd do one when it's the last thing you'd do.

You don't want to do it, she isn't pushing for it so just forget about it. Lots of people say things like I'd have a threesome just for sexual conversation for goodness sakes. I'd like two guys making me the center of attention too but I'd never act on it and the hubby and I talked about these things, Its how you decide if YOU ARE SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE. Seems you two are or she'd be pushing for it... which she's not.

Not everyone is incompatible just because they've had a "what if" or a "I'd be stoked to do" type conversations.

How long have you two been together?

[michelle23]

hell never get the truth or the doubts out of his mind if he just lets this go and by the sounds of it-it wasnt just a fantasy conversation-like "I wonder what it would be like or Ive thought about it". It was more like "I want to do it and I want to go to another country to do it so nobody finds out".

It does sound like more than just a passing thought or dirty talk

[Wakeup]

Do you know him personally so that you could say "hell (sic) never get the truth or the doubts out of his mind?" I just gave him a very good reason why he should at least mull over before dumping her. If he can't then fine but I find "dump him" without giving any alternate choice before doing so is pretty rampant around here.

[michelle23]

FYI I didnt tell him to dump her.

It sounds like he is already heading in that direction though

[Starnique]

As wakeup said, it's really all about compatibility. I personally wouldnt date someone with a bunch of weird fetishes and all that because if thats what they really like your sex life may be boring to them and they just may be weird to you. So he just needs to talk to her and don't be condescending while speaking to her and maybe they can work it out or he can move on.

[searock]

I think every straight girl has fantasized about having a MMF threesome, it doesn't mean that she actually *wants* to do it or is willing to do it even if you aren't comfortable with it. You told her that you wouldn't like it, she told you that it's no big deal anyway. So don't make a big deal out of it.

[conkbabes]

Thanks for all the responses it really makes me feel much better managing to read everyone's thoughts.

We have been together a little over a year, I just recently kinda have felt that she has this whole other side to her. Not a nice side either.
Like what guy doesn't want his girlfriend to be sexual but I feel that sometimes she takes it too far and verges on being slutty if that makes sense.

It's horrible because she honestly does mean the world to me and I would hate to break up with her, but I guess it may be better in the long run.
She also didn't have a father figure when she was growing up, she was raised by her mum single handed.

Not that I'm knocking single Mums at all but I just kinda feel its because she didn't have a strong father figure she doesn't know how to act.

Like her Mum would let her stay over at guys houses when she had just turned 16. I can't help but feel if she had a father figure she would have turned out differently.

Thanks so much for all the replies.

[Wakeup]

Thanks for all the responses it really makes me feel much better managing to read everyone's thoughts.

good

We have been together a little over a year, I just recently kinda have felt that she has this whole other side to her. Not a nice side either.

You'll have to elaborate on that. One convo about wanting two men to pay her attention in bed does not make her have a "not nice" side... what else is going on?

Like what guy doesn't want his girlfriend to be sexual but I feel that sometimes she takes it too far and verges on being slutty if that makes sense.

No it doesn't.. not without you explaining what you mean.

It's horrible because she honestly does mean the world to me and I would hate to break up with her, but I guess it may be better in the long run.

What has she been DOING that makes you view her as slutty?

She also didn't have a father figure when she was growing up, she was raised by her mum single handed.

Whats your point?

Not that I'm knocking single Mums at all but I just kinda feel its because she didn't have a strong father figure she doesn't know how to act.

you're starting to sound rather sexist, judgemental and prejudice in your thinking.

Like her Mum would let her stay over at guys houses when she had just turned 16. I can't help but feel if she had a father figure she would have turned out differently.

I'm starting to think she's better off without you. Of course, I'm still waiting for your explanation about what she's doing to make you think she's "slutty" before my final decision on that. I'm also wondering why you'd make your entire Opost about her talking about a threesome when in reality (going by your subsequent post) you're just looking for a reason to dump her unsubstantiated 'slutty' ass.???

[Starnique]

OP, you do come off condescending and judgemental.

[conkbabes]

good

You'll have to elaborate on that. One convo about wanting two men to pay her attention in bed does not make her have a "not nice" side... what else is going on?

No it doesn't.. not without you explaining what you mean.

What has she been DOING that makes you view her as slutty?

Whats your point?

you're starting to sound rather sexist, judgemental and prejudice in your thinking.

I'm starting to think she's better off without you. Of course, I'm still waiting for your explanation about what she's doing to make you think she's "slutty" before my final decision on that. I'm also wondering why you'd make your entire Opost about her talking about a threesome when in reality (going by your subsequent post) you're just looking for a reason to dump her unsubstantiated 'slutty' ass.???

It wasn't like it was just something she said flippantly the way she said it I could tell she actually had thought about it. We had the conversation about holidays and then threesomes. Then about 5 minutes later was when she said about the threesome. So she had obviously been thinking about it that five minutes or so.

Sorry I was just trying to elaborate further on why I think she has the ideas of threesomes etc in her head I don't mean to sound sexist at all. She is 18 at the moment so I just feel that some of the things she does are inappropriate. Like we might be walking in a shopping center and she would come out with something like "Oh wow he is so hot" it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough.

Maybe your right maybe I am looking for a reason subconsciously. I just don't like the idea at all of her having sex with another guy or the thought of her thinking about it