Should I break up with her?

[konzo]

I have been with her for a year now. It started off as friends with benefits, but ended up in a relationship. I was never in love with her, it was always her that was more into me. We began the relationship because we thought there was more to it than just being "friends with benefits" as we spent more or less every day together.

The reason I'm writing this post is that I'm confused whether I should end the relationship or not. She is a GREAT girl, attractive, mature, fun, and we also have several things in common. I love her very deeply. The relationship is currently long distance, and if I don't hear, or receive a text from her every day I can't stop thinking about her. I cannot imagine her with anyone else - the thought is heart braking. But I am stuck on the fact that I have never been in love with her in the first place. It has always been her putting more effort into the relationship. I broke up with her twice before, but we got back together after a couple of days. Additionally, I have only been in one relationship before (I'm 25 years old) which was similar to this one, she was more committed to the relationship than me.

This relationship has a lot of potential, I just can't get over the fact that I haven't been with a girl that I have been madly in love with, and want to experience that feeling. On the contrary, if I end this relationship I will never see this girl again who truly loves me and accepts me for who I am. I'm afraid I won't find that in another girl.

I just want to be happy, without doubting the relationship I'm in!! I feel like I'm leading this girl on and if I continue the relationship I will continue having doubts.

What should I do?? Any help please!!

[basilandthyme]

The potential in this relationship probably won't be realised until the long distance thing ends. What's stopping you from being together?

[konzo]

We are studying in different places which will go on for at least 1 more year. We see each other every three to four weeks to maintain the relationship.

[michelle23]

what do you mean by "madly in love" exactly?

do you mean you want to do things properly-like meet someone, go on a few dates, take things slow etc and develop feelings before sex?

it sounds to me like you are in love with this girl-you are just confused coz youve never done things the "proper way".

if shes great in so many ways, you have tons in common, cant stand the thought of someone else coming along and sweeping her off her feet, think about ber every day and miss her etc etc-then it sounds like a great relationship and youd be a bit mad to throw it away just for a "what if"

long distance is hard though and it requires a lot of commitment and effort to maintain it.

its your choice

[smackie9]

You are not going to miss out if she goes out of your life. You will meet someone again. My guess is that you are attracted to being in a relationship, but not attracted enough to the person you are with. You are settling and this makes you feel like you are "missing out" on the real deal....the infatuation, being obsessed, sparks a flying with instant attraction. You are deeply attached to this girl, and the thought of her not being there is separation anxiety......fear of being alone, without a relationship. You might want to think it over as to what you are truly feeling and what is causing you to be teetering on the fence to end it. Only you can figure this out....we can only make suggestions.