Girl I like starts dating someone else

[duran_ii]

Hey guys,

Just wanted your advice on something.

Since December, I had been talking pretty frequently with this co-worker I really like. She and I used to talk quite a bit and I could tell we were definitely into each other. We went to dinner a couple of times, and we've always tried to get each other to admit that we liked one another. However, there was always that barrier, because she had been burned in her previous relationships (she even admits that she has low self esteem). She mentioned from time to time that she doesn't believe she's ready to seriously date someone, and wanted to keep her options open. I was cool with that, because I was doing the same thing. I had been chatting with other girls too and I was, for the most part, nonchalant.

I know she likes me because she will try to get my attention, especially when I ignore her, and I've found that she imitates me from time to time. I've made it pretty clear that I like her, and about 3 weeks ago, I asked her out.

At first, she was evasive and wanted to talk about maybe doing something after my business trip the week after. For the past 2 weeks, her and I have hardly texted, and I was out of the office for 2 weeks, so I couldn't see her in person.

When I came back this week, she talked to me like nothing happened. We talked here and there, and things seemed kinda normal. On Thursday, she came into my office, we chatted for a bit and then she wrote her name a bunch of times on a piece of paper with a bunch of hearts and gave it to me, saying that I should keep it. I had kept some other stuff she gave me and she knew about it.

Then, yesterday, I asked why she looked bummed out. She told me that she got into a fight with someone that she had just started "kind of" dating. Of course, I was shocked and asked her why she never told me, and that explained why she went so silent all of a sudden. I told her that I made it pretty clear I wanted to get to know her, and that she had mentioned the same (indirectly). She told me that she didn't feel it was necessary to tell me, and that she didn't know that I felt that way towards her. She then makes another excuse that technically I'm her boss, so it couldn't have been an option.

I did, 2 weeks before this, go on a date with a girl and we hit it off really well. There's some photos that were posted on my facebook of my time with her, but nothing intimate obviously, just some photos of activities. I don't THINK she views my profile. But perhaps she got jealous of it? I'm not sure.

So, rather than seem insecure about her dating someone, I simply told her that I wanted to get to know her better. I wished her well and said I was happy for her.

A few hours later after I sent that text. She replies "Thanks."

Then 3 hours later after that, she says. "I'm just a flirty person. It's my personality. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." Then immediately after that text, "I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings."

I have not responded to her, and it's been about 12 hours since that text. I'm wondering if I should just ignore the text, or if I should reply back with something like "You didn't hurt my feelings. Sometimes things aren't meant to be, and sometimes it's just not the right time."

I also was thinking of taking those little pieces of paper she gave to me over the months that I kept and leave it on her desk. Kinda like a symbolic, "You're losing me real fast."

What do you guys think? Any advice is helpful, especially from the ladies!

[crudemood]

The best way is to move on and work on things in your life. Busy yourself.
Never put all your eggs into one basket.

Don't leave her messages like that, it will definitely scare her away. Play it cool.

Joke around and say, "Its okay, he can keep you busy while I'm not around" . Pretend it doesn't bother you.

[stan92964]

Find someone who is more stable and more into you. It sounds like she is more trouble than she is worth. Don't get hung up on the fact that she's cute and has all the right things in the right places. There are definitely better choices out there ... you need to just find one.

[duran_ii]

So if I understand correctly: Don't reply to her apology and don't leave the stuff on her desk. Keep cool, don't give her any attention (except for work related purposes) and see if she starts biting.

I can do that.

Any other opinions/viewpoints? I'm curious to see what others think too!

[stan92964]

It's great to listen to advice, but in the end you need to do what you think is best for your life. It's your life.

[Am I crazy?]

She may have liked you and maybe still does but you were to slow on your approach. You lost, for now.

[duran_ii]

I don't plan to wait, but I'd like to keep her as an option if I'm not already with someone else down the line. Other than keeping it cool, any other advice?

And yeah, I agree Stan, at the end of the day I need to do what I think is best. However, advice is always good