Girl really likes me, then starts acting flaky. What should I do?

[IrishRomeo]

Recently, for the better part of two weeks, I was on vacation up north. This was one big family vacation, so I didn’t expect I would meet someone. But a couple Saturdays ago, my cousin’s girlfriend arrived to spend a weekend at their cottage (a few down from the one my family rents). She brought a friend with her...Rebecca. After a day of boating and tubing and wakeboarding, Rebecca and I had hit it off pretty well...we were both single, and it was pretty clear that we liked each other. At nightfall, when all the other young people were around the campfire, I asked Rebecca if she wanted to go down to the water. We talked for a couple hours; it was a very deep and personal conversation. Then we started making out and spent the next 2 hours or so hooking up...we didn’t have sex (we were outside after all) but it was very physical...lots of 2nd and 3rd base-ish stuff. As I walked her back to her cottage around 5, she asked, “Where did you come from? Because you’re like the perfect guy.” I kissed her goodnight...the next day (Sunday) I got her number, and then she had to go home.

Normally I’d wait a few days to ask her out (on like a date), as I’ve learned that overeagerness can kill a potential relationship. But she seemed so infatuated with me that night, as well as in the 24 hours that followed (from the volume and content of her text messages to me) that I decided I didn’t need to wait. On Monday night, only a day after she had left, I asked her out for the upcoming weekend. She said she couldn’t; that she had to help her Mom move that weekend (her mom had declared bankrupt and was losing her house), but if she wasn’t helping her she would have accepted otherwise. Fine by me, I’d wait a week and try again.

That’s when things started getting weird. Wednesday she told me that her mom no longer needed her help with moving, but that she’d still be tied up that weekend with a job interview. I wasn’t sure how to interpret this news. On a positive end, it seemed like she cared enough to be honest with me; she could have just not told me about this change of events and I’d have been none the wiser. From a negative standpoint, a job interview doesn’t take a whole weekend...especially since it was local and required no traveling.

I shrugged it off and we kept talking, and eventually got around to discussing the (then) upcoming Batman movie. She was really excited about it, and joked that she’d probably end up seeing it 8 times. I replied something like “maybe for your 7th time we can go together,” partly as a joke but also wanting to test the waters and see what she’d say. All she responded was “maybe.” At that point, I was pretty miffed, so I simply replied “Well, let me know” and didn’t hear back from her. (Keep in mind all of these conversations took place over text messages, so I couldn’t read into her responses – seriousness, sarcasm, etc. – anymore than the words typed...she mentioned hating to talk on the phone when she put her number into my phone, so I haven’t called her).

Since then the amount of talking between us has dropped substantially... On Friday she texted me a picture of something she painted (she’s an artist), and after I tried to start a conversation I didn’t hear back. Didn’t talk to her Saturday, or Sunday. Yesterday was Monday...that evening I was kind of bored, so I went online to chat with people...saw that Rebecca was online, and said hi. But before I could get much more out than a “What’s up?” she said that she didn’t feel like talking, and signed off.

So here I stand, not even a week and a half removed from that magical night, and my outlook toward Rebecca has shifted from “potential girlfriend,” to “she’s playing a little hard-to-get,” to “she wants nothing to do with me.” I don’t want to give up completely, though...what can I do? What’s up with this girl? I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve thought about calling or emailing her to ask her if I should stop wasting my time.

Let me just anticipate and address two potential responses from the forum here:

1) There was no alcohol involved that night, and consequently no day-after awkwardness.

2) She told me herself that she wanted a relationship with me, so if she's honest, it's not an issue of her not wanting to get involved with someone.

[Cain]

It sounds to me like that night was just a fun time on her vacation. If I were you, I'd drop contact until SHE initiated it. I don't know about you, but I can't stand being the one to initiate contact all of the time.

[IndiReloaded]

Not good its a week & a half. However, its summer & ppl go away, etc. Is this a possibility?

I would try contacting her once more & ask her out. If the response is no-go, then you're SOL & move on.

[Citycat]

I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hate when something like that happens. Usually the guys behave like this - approach you one night, give you compliments, try to make out with you, say how perfect you are etc., then act like nothing happened.
Don't call her anymore. You've done nothing wrong. Move on with your life. I hope that things like this won't happen not only to you, but to anybody.

[Gigabitch]

I hate this crap. I have no doubt I've done it to guys in the past, and I hereby apologize to the universe and everyone in it for having done this kind of thing.

I don't know what's going on with her, but when I was behaving this way it was because I had three or four guys on the line and I had some idea that someone else was going to work out. It's not that she didn't want you, she just wants someone else more.

Of course, it's entirely possible that she's got some kind of personal drama going on that makes it impossible for her to even think about boyfriends right now. Who knows?

No, that wasn't a rhetorical "who knows?". What I mean by that is that you need to contact your cousin right now and try to figure out what's up with Rebecca. Why haven't you done this already?