Guys, what does a "rape joke" like this from a guy friend mean ?

[Anna18]

Guys,

What does it mean if you jokingly suggest a girl of yours friend that you would like to rape her ...? That guy friend of mine said this as we were teasing each other (in a totally non-sexual way...) we were joking, telling annoying things to each other on purpose and he ended up saying this, in a joking way of course, it was kind of like "if you don't stop this i'm gonna rape you, pleaase let me". He is a well educated guy, always nice to me, i know for sure he would never mistreat a girl of course. I made him understand i didn't really find the joke funny, things got awkward and he kind of apologized and felt a bit stupid... it shocked me I must admit.
What should I think of it, does it mean he feels kind of attracted to me ? Why would you guys do it ?

[smackie9]

He finds you attractive enough to have sex with.

[dickriculous]

^^ In addition to that he probably interpreted you teasing each other as a sexual thing even though you perceived it as nonsexual, so he tried to escalate things a bit. Unfortunately for him you weren't feeling it.

Had a female friend of mine make the same joke toward me one time. I pretty much just brushed it off, as I found her sexually unattractive, but this sort of thing happens when people flirt. Not with everyone, obviously. It depends on the person. Some like to go further than others, and some like to flirt with the taboo more than others.

[michelle23]

Dont take it seriously. It was just a bad joke. I have said that to my bf a few times in a joking way. "your gonna get raped later" and a wink. All it means is im gonna jump him which he loves. I know its not nice to joke about these things as it is a very serious matter but he knows I don't mean it in a bad way and would never laugh about someone actually getting raped.

Id say the guy has a crush on you and was just flirting. Do you like him?

[searock]

Had a female friend of mine make the same joke toward me one time. I pretty much just brushed it off, as I found her sexually unattractive

Thank you for reminding people who don't believe in it that if a guy is friends with a girl it doesn't necessarily mean that he's attracted to her .

I agree with your interpretation btw.

[Wakeup]

^^^^ Oh but SHE was attracted to him. I think the concensus is that one or the other IS indeed wanting more then friendship.

[michelle23]

yup one or the other, sometimes both. Searock you and your bf kinda proved our theory to be correct.

Even if there isnt an initial attraction. It nearly always gets messy

[dem862]

Well, I have learned a guy has to be careful what he says around women regarding sexual and violent stuff because women are much more sensitive to it than men. I would never even say the word "rape" around a women. Also saying things like "I'm gonna kill him" or something violent like that brings up huge red flags in women's minds. Especially, when she doesn't know the man that well. And yes, he wants to have sex with you.

[michelle23]

Well, I have learned a guy has to be careful what he says around women regarding sexual and violent stuff because women are much more sensitive to it than men. I would never even say the word "rape" around a women. Also saying things like "I'm gonna kill him" or something violent like that brings up huge red flags in women's minds. Especially, when she doesn't know the man that well. And yes, he wants to have sex with you.

I wouldnt go that far dem. You can tell the different between a joke and a threat. Most people can anyway and I wouldn't take it that seriously. A man did say that to me once "nows my chance to rape you" and he was laughing and then he kissed me but nothing else happened and I wasnt scared but I knew him I suppose. If a complete stranger said it to me-then ya it would freak me out

[searock]

yup one or the other, sometimes both. Searock you and your bf kinda proved our theory to be correct.

Even if there isnt an initial attraction. It nearly always gets messy

Well I have long time male friends whom I am not attracted to and whom I know for a fact are not attracted to me. I can't say what will happen in the future but I don't think anything will happen, ever, not with them :-).

Wakeup, what you said makes a lot more sense than what most people believe (i.e. that guys specifically, don't have female "friends" but only women who they would like to f*ck). I still think (know from experience) male-female friendship is possible even without (actually, ONLY without) attraction from either side, but reading such a comment from a guy is always nice :-).

[michelle23]

I believe you can have male and female friends but I dont agree with being best mates with someone of the opposite sex-not unless they are gay anyway and even that can get messy sometimes lol.

I have male friends, my bf has a female friend but we dont see them that often and when we do-we normally all hang out together and have a few drinks or have a couples night out like cinema or call to each others houses and have tea etc. His friends are my friends and same vice versa.

i don't think hed mind if I met up with my male friends for a drink or something but I wouldn't meet them alone. My girlfriends would be there too and his female friend used to call to his house sometimes for a chat but half the time she would bring her boyfriend or one of their other friends would be there or Id be there and she became my friend as soon as we started going out including me in everything and making me feel welcome.

She does have a huge crush though on his best friend which is annoying coz he has no interest in her and they both kinda avoid her now.

I also have a gay friend who I went to school with and worked with in my old job. He calls into me at work now sometimes on his way to college and we catch up.

[smackie9]

Why have this simple thread get derailed with analytical crap.....she just wants to know why he said that. It's obvious he likes her, end of.


So Anna18 is this good news to you? just curious.

[searock]

I believe you can have male and female friends but I dont agree with being best mates with someone of the opposite sex-not unless they are gay anyway and even that can get messy sometimes

I agree :-).