Very confused! sudden lack of contact, but am I being too cold?

[CoraKee]

So here's the situation;

Met a guy at a mutual friend's birthday party about 3 months ago. I had never considered him as someone fanciable, just because I'm a shy, reserved person by nature and I generally don't take much interest in initiating romantic relationships. I'm not bad looking and generally, I've never had to take the lead with romantic relationships anyway.
From the onset, he was pretty keen, followed me around all night practically. We ended up getting drunk and sleeping together, but spent more time talking really. This is VERY out of character for me and I considered him a write-off because I'd slept with him so soon.

The next day I left pretty sharpish, but he text me and added me on facebook - I was visiting his city for a work trip for a month so he offered me a lift (I declined because i'd made other arrangements).

He was pretty insistent on taking me on a date (it was my first proper date, something he was really chuffed about), we had a really fun time and he came back to mine and we slept together again. During the month I was in his town we continued to do this - He was out of a serious relationship a year ago and isn't ready to settle down. I'm in a similar sort of situation, so I was happy to keep the relationship as a friends with benefits deal. I'm really fond of him, we get on well etc. But as he has essentially warned me not to get attached, I've purposefully avoided contact with him outside of him coming to mine for sex.

However things have gotten a little confused - he text me every day, to the point I had to tell him he was being a bit too keen - I always responded but he always initiated. He has asked me repeatedly about whether I intend to transfer to his city (I told him I have, which is true), He has also told me he likes me, has asked if I'm seeing anyone else etc. (I'm not, but again that's down to me being pretty apathetic about pursuing relationships atm).

When i'd finished my work trip after the month, he continued to text regularly (albeit not daily). Again, he usually initiated, but he went a week without contacting me and in the end I gave in and text him first and he text back almost immediately. This has been the longest period I've not heard from him.

Since then I've had two work trips back for a night or two. The previous one I stayed two nights. The first night was great, he came over and we had fun and a nice chat as per. He seemed pretty keen to go out on a date for a few drinks, but I knew i'd be tired (from travelling) and said I wasn't that fussed.

The next night we'd made plans for him to come over again. But he decides to stay late at work, then go to the gym, then meet up with a mate for drinks (who it seems tried to convince him to stay out instead of coming to see me). I'm really tired so I tell him not to leave it too late and eventually he comes over and its fine. It's at this point he asks me if I'm seeing other people, he even asks me if I'd want to visit his place (i'm a bit reserved about this though, as it's a bit out of my comfort zone). He also asks me on my thoughts of FWB relationships and if people always develop feelings. I say I think that's usually the case, but I think it'd be him that would develop feelings rather than myself. (I'm not an emotional person and generally my feelings don't run away with me). He responds to a text I sent him the next day, but over the weekend I hear nothing from him.

I visit our mutual friend that weekend. He has mentioned to me that he might visit, and I know that at the weekend he is relatively nearby, yet he doesn't show up. Eventually I text him on Monday asking him how his weekend has gone. No reply.

It's been 3 months of consistent contact and all of a sudden I'm hearing nothing. It's been over a week now since I heard from him.

I really want to tell him that I do like him, but I've held back because I know what the score is in terms of him not wanting a relationship. It's just hard to over text!!

Also, I know from our mutual friend that he has slept around a lot in the past, and that he has gotten into trouble for dating two girls at the same time. I don't hold this against him, and he has been open about this as well, but it's made me worry I'll be tossed aside, so to speak.

Should I simply count my losses and move on? I've known from the start that it could end this way and that it's been casual. Should I text his silence as a hint he's not interested in pursuing this further?

Or should I make another attempt at contact in a little while?? (and how do I even initiate it?!?!) I know how stand-offish and cold I can come across, so Its a possibility he thinks I have no real interest in him, which isn't exactly the case.

I'm not angry or bitter or anything, But I liked what we had and I don't understand what's happened here. I thought we both understood each other and wanted the same thing from this. Sorry for the long text, but can anyone offer advice?!?!

[smackie9]

It's obvious he wanted pursue something more serious with you. He said he wasn't at first because he didn't want to come off as needy and scare you away. He was dropping hints like mad, but you never responded positively...it's 3 months dear, he's given up. Since you never expressed any true interest, he kept his options open....it's quite possible he have met somebody else.

If you want to take one last crack at this, send him an email right now. Explain everything to him .....just what you wrote on here. If you don't get a response, then he has definitely moved on.

[basilandthyme]

I'm with Smackie on this one: He was keen as mustard but your lack of enthusiasm and little display of emotions has made him give up.