Need advice with girl I met for potential marriage

[james_cameron]

Hi,

I first spoke to the girl 5-6 months ago we were introduced via a mutual friend/relative. We are both of the same religion and culture and we met with the sole intention of meeting for potential marriage down the line.

Since day 1 she has been really inconsistent with her texts, the first time I sent her a message it took her 2 days to reply, then nothing for nearly 2 weeks. Then randomly she replied and we texted most of the day then towards the end of the day she asked to meet with me.

She asked to meet me but took her around 1 week to confirm which days she was free etc. Then the day before we were meant to meet she changed the day saying if we could meet the day after instead. On the day we met she turned up nearly 1 hour late.

But, once we met I literally forgot all about her slow responses etc and had an amazing time with her spent around 8 hours together just talking etc.

On the way home she text me saying thanks for the chocolates etc. Sent a message back and got one back within 30 mins. So basically I thought the slow responses was over and done with. The next day sent her another message then got a response 3 days later. Was not sure if she was playing games etc so I asked her if she wanted to meet again and she told me she was busy with work etc. At this point was not sure what was going on so I stopped chasing her i.e. keep sending her messages. After a week she sent me a message after this got a reply mostly within 1 day from this point.

After 8 weeks she dropped a hint she was free so I asked her again and we met up again. Again went amazing spent again around 8 hours together. Also I said will it be ok to give you a call sometime and she said she prefers texts.

Around 2 weeks ago I asked her how she felt our relationship was progressing and she said she "wants to get to know me better". I basically told her I really like you and not talking to anyone else. Had no response to this. Thought best to wait around a week, sent her a message and got a reply within 3 hours.

Since that message things have gone back to her taking 3-5 days to reply to messages etc.

I really do like her and can see her as my "partner".

Not sure now what to do? Is she just slow? Not sure if she is playing hard to get?

[basilandthyme]

Is she keen on the idea of meeting with a view for marriage? Because it sounds to me as if she's being pressured into seeing you by friends and family.

Sorry I can't be more helpful.

[michelle23]

I was thinking the same thing. Perhaps she does not want an arranged marriage. Perhaps she is already in love with someone else and her family is in conflict over it. She doesn't sound interested and you are probably wasting your time.

[james_cameron]

I was thinking the same thing. Perhaps she does not want an arranged marriage. Perhaps she is already in love with someone else and her family is in conflict over it. She doesn't sound interested and you are probably wasting your time.

It's not arranged in the sense she has no choice it was just that we were introduced. This does not meant either of us have to agree to marry each other.

[Ann S]

I think you should ask her about the time delays. On the surface, it sounds like she is not really that interested. But we don't know the reason for the time delays. On this Forum we could only guess, so if you want to know the real answer, go to the source. Also, I don't know the practices of your culture. Can you let us know those? Ann

[michelle23]

It's not arranged in the sense she has no choice it was just that we were introduced. This does not meant either of us have to agree to marry each other.

I get that. I didnt mean it as in forced marriage. I just meant maybe she would have liked to be introduced as a potential date. The idea of marriage can be daunting for many

[james_cameron]

I think you should ask her about the time delays. On the surface, it sounds like she is not really that interested. But we don't know the reason for the time delays. On this Forum we could only guess, so if you want to know the real answer, go to the source. Also, I don't know the practices of your culture. Can you let us know those? Ann

It works like this friends ( within same culture), cousins, parents etc will say there is this girl in X location, I think you should talk to her etc as she seems a good match and vice versa the same thing will happen on the girls side. Then it is left up to us to talk, arrange to meet etc. Basically how normal dating would happen?

If she was not interested then why not tell me, why would she waste her time sending really nice messages if no interest?

[Ann S]

Thank you for explaining this. I don't have the answer to the question. Only this woman has it. I think it is important to remember, that many women don't like to hurt feelings of kind, attentive guys, who just don't attract them. She may be getting parental pressure to give you a chance. We certainly don't know. Would it be to difficult to ask her if she thinks you two might be a future potential match? Good Luck. Ann