Is this ok or am I just crazy?

[annf05]

I have been dating this guy for about a year now. When we first got together he told me he had a profile on POF and I seen it and had my friend look at it to get her opinion on the guy. Well just recently my friend who is on POF contacted me and asked if we were still dating because she had seen that he had updated his profile pictures! She showed me his profile and while he did state on his profile he was not interested and not looking for someone and would not reply to any messages he did in fact update his pictures. The pictures he added were pictures taken while dating me and one of the pictures was taken no less than a month ago. I feel that since he is in a relationship updating his POF profile with recent pictures isn't necessary and I am kind of upset about this. Am I wrong on being upset about this?

[Simpo]

I would say you should be slightly upset about this but could be a simple mis understanding. This may be something you want to talk to him about. Just sit him down and say "my friend came across this and told me about it, should I be worried?" or something along those lines, don't act as though you were snooping though because then he will think you don't trust him. Communication is key

I had a similar experience with zoosk and my girlfriend. I confronted her and she didn't realise how much it hurt seeing her flirting with other guys through zoosk and said she would stop. She explained that she only did it for fun and when she was bored and it was actually quite good for making friends but I hated it since I know that most people on zoosk aren't after friendship but something more so she stopped using it.

[michelle23]

he should have deleted the account if he is with you.. f**k that! id dump him

seriously you should cause world war 3 over this just so he knows you will not tolerate ANY sort of cheating and he is messing with the wrong girl if he thinks he can get away with it (that's if you are planning to stay with him)

let him off the hook easy on this-then your just giving him permission to do something worse next time.

He should not be on any sort of dating site at all. He is in a relationship

[annf05]

Thank you both for your advice. I did talk to him about this and he said he could not completely delete his profile just deactivate it and that his profile automatically syncs with his phone and that's how the pictures were updated. I myself know nothing about POF so I cannot be sure if what he is saying is true or not.

[Wakeup]

Thank you both for your advice. I did talk to him about this and he said he could not completely delete his profile just deactivate it and that his profile automatically syncs with his phone and that's how the pictures were updated. I myself know nothing about POF so I cannot be sure if what he is saying is true or not.

He's lying his ass off to you. He can indeed delete his profile and, he has to physically load his photo's onto the site itself. (unless they've changed it since our friend was on there and unfortunately ended up with a lying cheater who was engaged to someone else the whole time she was doing him).

Tell him you'll get your friend to show him how to delete it outright and if he balks at the suggestion then you know you're not all that important to him. At the very least, ask "your friend" if what he's saying is true about not being able to delete and if he puts a new pic on his phone, Pof just snaps it right up and loads it to his profile *laughing here*.

It's interesting that he claims he's not looking to date or answer emails... why would he not "deactivate" if that's all he thinks he's entitled to do? That would be another good question for you to ask him.

[stev123]

it baffles me why he would want to hook up with sloots on POF when he was a girlfriend, that shit is a last resort lol

[Wakeup]

^^ yea it baffles most of us, those who are'nt still looking for the next best thing, stev.

[annf05]

well we are no longer together anymore. We have been having our issues for last couple months and besides this whole POF thing something else recently happened that just pretty much finished it for me. So thank you all for you input, I appreciate it.

[Wakeup]

My recommendation, ann is to get off of POF. Try one of the paid sights because I figure if they're willing to pay then they're likely more serious in finding something substantial. I know there are some success stories but there seems to be more people just looking for a bit of fun then there are those looking for anything serious.

Did you ever ask him why, if according to him all he could do was deactivate his account, why he just didn't do that or did you end it without finding out what he was actually up to?

[annf05]

I myself was never on POF he was and I met him thru work. IN the beginning of our relationship he told me about his POF account and told me he did deactivate it. Now a year later when my friend brought up his profile and showed it to me it did indeed say that he was not looking/searching for anyone he would not reply to any messages and stated that he did try to delete it but couldn't. The thing was is that along with the photos that were originally on his profile were new ones that were taken while we were together. I did ask him about this and he said that the photos automatically update. I don't no if that is true or not because I know nothing about POF.

[michelle23]

Do you mind if I ask what finished it in the end?

Just stay strong now, you will get over him and meet someone else

[TablesandChairs]

ann - there's no such thing as an automatic photo update that accesses the files (photos) from your PC without the person in question doing it. No site that I know of does that. It's like saying Facebook automatically updates your profile pic...ludicrous. He's not even thoughtful enough to give you a decent lie.

Congrats on ending it.

[annf05]

Do you mind if I ask what finished it in the end?

Just stay strong now, you will get over him and meet someone else

what finished it?

well we have been so stressed out and things just seem to keep building up. We fix one thing another issue pops up. I do love him and I know he loves me. So we decided to just take a step back from each other and take a break to let our minds clear. Besides this whole issue with POF which has been completely resolved and dealt with there have been other things we have had to deal with. Its just stress and tension is so high with us right now we arnt thinking clearly and making matters worse. We talked about it and decided that if we didn't take a break now then there would be no chance of us being able to fix it later. So we ended it and plan to start completely over. Just hang out as friends and see where things go from there. Also his POF account is 100% deleted now and he apologized over and over about it.

[Wakeup]

"We've completely ended it but are just haning out as friends." Well that's an oxymoron statement if I've ever heard one.

I'm curious about something as well: How was the POF thing "settled?"

[michelle23]

ann hes still lying. There is NO way POF updated his pics automatically.