Caught him on craiglist . Need advice.

**Wakeup** · 05-06-13, 12:07 AM

Originally Posted by michelle23

but i do think shed be well within her rights to kick him out if the house is rented and he already said he understands if she doesnt want him anymore. he may fight for her but not over the house by the sounds of it

Well she would NOT be within her rights at all but he may acquience.

**Eng.Jackadmans** · 05-06-13, 12:21 AM

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Like I said, you cannot predict how it would go down until it goes down. It's nice to think that it would be that easy though.

Even if he was the one the "messed up?" You told Op her bf should leave because he's the one that messed up.

That's exactly right, and which is why the police cannot go around arresting people for things they MIGHT do, no matter how afriad you have of them due a previous pattern of behaviour.

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Just asking because that's what you told the opening poster... that he should leave because he messed up. Why would anyone... indeed. Well, except that he could go after her for her half of the rent (if she's on the lease) if he was a revengeful prick.

Yea... that's what my brother and sister-in-law said too. What a mess that split was. My girlfriend ended up walking away from everything including her half of the house because her husband (the most devoted guy to her while they still were emotionally connect) turned into a vindicitive animal fighting for every spoon, fork and knife. You never know for sure darl'n.

If the property is leased, he would not need go back for her half of the rent. Simply default on payment, and the owner will sue them both. It doesn't necessarily have to be 50-50, the owner just needs the full amount of rent, if their is a payment default, all named on the lease will be held equally liable regardless of how much either paid.

If there is hostility with any named of the lease, any lawyer would tell you the best course of action. Is to arrange payment contract of 50-50, then when a default is made, it wont give you bad credit rating. If this is not possible, pay nothing, wait until it goes to court. And the court will assess payment to each party, pay your part and that's it.

**mysteriouseyes** · 05-06-13, 12:25 AM

Guys I asked your suggestions...not a fight over property.

Well we live in a rented place and share rent. I already paid this month's rent and kind of out of money. I do not have any place to go (I AM LOOKING FOR NEW PLACES). I moved into his house. I want to be the one who take decision and leave him. right now i am not thinking of anyhting, my mind is numb. I am so hurt. I do not want sympathy message or anything. But want to understand the situation. Should i go ahead with breaking up? if he deleted his fake profile and admitted the truth and felt guilty..should i give him a chance? But if i give him a chance, it means i am not valuing myself high in front of him....it is so messed up....

**Eng.Jackadmans** · 05-06-13, 12:33 AM

Originally Posted by mysteriouseyes

Guys I asked your suggestions...not a fight over property.

Well we live in a rented place and share rent. I already paid this month's rent and kind of out of money. I do not have any place to go (I AM LOOKING FOR NEW PLACES). I moved into his house. I want to be the one who take decision and leave him. right now i am not thinking of anyhting, my mind is numb. I am so hurt. I do not want sympathy message or anything. But want to understand the situation. Should i go ahead with breaking up? if he deleted his fake profile and admitted the truth and felt guilty..should i give him a chance? But if i give him a chance, it means i am not valuing myself high in front of him....it is so messed up....

Well you don't really have any evidence that he did anything. Because for you get that evidence you did something which you believe to be wrong. And it is illegal to access his email account, even tho he wont be able to prove it in a million years.

If the police knock your door down without a warrant and find 10 dead bodies, and 500$ million USD worth of cocaine, you will walk free on murder and drug charges. Simply because the police did a wrong to get that evidence, due process was not followed.
Any further evidence gained from those bodies, would also be inadmissible. Not mention that police officer would be facing break and enter charges himself, as well internal police discipline.
So next time, follow him around, take a camera with you. Catch him with another girl, record the conversation. Make sure your on public property, if your on private property, make sure you have permission to be there. This way you will gain evidence without doing anything wrong on your part.

EDIT: Did you have any evidence prior to you accessing his email, that he was involved in this, his email will have evidence there to indicate this being more probable that it is not. If you do have this, then you had a right to access this email, on probable cause.

**Starnique** · 05-06-13, 01:17 AM

I don't see why chics feel guilty after going through their guys belongings. Especially if they find something. I wouldnt make apologies for that. You had reason to go looking so you did. Anyway, he needs to rebuild his trust with you anyway. Just because he didnt have sex didnt mean he wouldnt have. What was his purpose for being on that website anyway? It doesn't sound like you're going to break up with him, so just accept his apology and move on. I wouldnt be so easy going because if you let them get away with it the first time, they will keep doing shit most of the time. He would have to work for it all over again. I dont care how guilty he LOOKs. He needs to feel it.

**Starnique** · 05-06-13, 01:19 AM

Are you the same chic who had the issue with the best friend wanting to hang around your man without you all the time? Im just curious, how did that situation play out?

**michelle23** · 05-06-13, 01:37 AM

if i were you i would break up with him. he was looking for no strings attached sex. you have no proof that he cheayed but thatdoesnt mean he didnt or wouldnt if given an opportunity.

the reality here is hes not trustworthy. stop feeling bad for looking st his emails. you didnt do anything wrong. if he had nothing to hide, he wouldnt care that you snooped. if you suspect something-then its pointless waiting and hoping evidence will somehow land in your lap-you do what you gotta do to find proof. and you have found proof.

break up with him now. then you can either move in with a friend for a few weeks or sleep in the spare room till you can find somewhere else that you can afford.

you will never no for sure if you have the full story or if hes still lying (and id bet he is still lying). the trust is gone, your deeply hurt and no matter how hard you try-i doubt youll trust him again or forgive him for this.

whether you stay or go now-its gonna hurt badly for awhile. you will heal faster without him in your life and eventually be ready to meet someone else.

if you are planning to stay with him then you should act as if its over anyway. make him suffer and make him beg. make him think he really has lost you and what he did was unforgivable. he has to learn his lesson and he wont if there is no consequences.

i would be gone already but your still there and i have a feeling you will stay so just make sure he pays for this somehow. if your lacking the balls to leave then cheat on him. if he can, you can and it may give you the courage and strenght to walk away

i no two wrongs dont make it right BUT if your gonna stay with a cheat-you may as well get your revenge and who knows-maybe it will help you realize you can do better

**Wakeup** · 05-06-13, 01:54 AM

OP: Here is one thing that you might want to keep in mind because I think you want to stay but you know if you do, then he will think it's okay to do such things. Remember: You two had broken up when he started those accounts so he didn't cheat on you. So, it's up to you to decide if you think he's shady for jumping from one pussy to the first one that will have him. You were'nt broken up more than a week and he was on the computer scouting for no strings attached pussy. Is that the kind of man you think values you? Your call. Stay if you love him but don't do that just because you have no place to go at the moment. You live in Canada and there are lots of resources available to help you should you need them.

Where are your friends and family?

if you are planning to stay with him then you should act as if its over anyway. make him suffer and make him beg. make him think he really has lost you and what he did was unforgivable. he has to learn his lesson and he wont if there is no consequences

keep in mind if you do this, then you will be suffering right along with him as your union deteriorates even further. If you want him to learn a lesson then ask him to go to couples councelling with you and if he won't go, then you really are better off without him.

Good luck.

**mysteriouseyes** · 05-06-13, 02:41 AM

I want to make him learn a lesson for this. As i made him very clear that this kind of behavior will not be acceptable. I saw him ashamed of his acts but still i do not want to get along with him after all this. my peace of mind and happiness is much more important than anything else. I know i will cry for two months but it would be better than crying for lifetime. All i want to know is if i am going to take the right step? or if he apologized for everything, do i need to give him a last single chance which he is begging for

Originally Posted by Wakeup

OP: Here is one thing that you might want to keep in mind because I think you want to stay but you know if you do, then he will think it's okay to do such things. Remember: You two had broken up when he started those accounts so he didn't cheat on you. So, it's up to you to decide if you think he's shady for jumping from one pussy to the first one that will have him. You were'nt broken up more than a week and he was on the computer scouting for no strings attached pussy. Is that the kind of man you think values you? Your call. Stay if you love him but don't do that just because you have no place to go at the moment. You live in Canada and there are lots of resources available to help you should you need them.

Where are your friends and family?

keep in mind if you do this, then you will be suffering right along with him as your union deteriorates even further. If you want him to learn a lesson then ask him to go to couples councelling with you and if he won't go, then you really are better off without him.

Good luck.

**mysteriouseyes** · 05-06-13, 02:43 AM

Yes i am same girl. That best friend does not hang out wih us anymore. I talked to her very clearly about her arrogance and behavior. I made this thing very clear to my man as well that i wont appreciate it if he is going to talk to her and plan with her.

Originally Posted by Starnique

Are you the same chic who had the issue with the best friend wanting to hang around your man without you all the time? Im just curious, how did that situation play out?

**Eng.Jackadmans** · 05-06-13, 02:45 AM

Originally Posted by mysteriouseyes

I want to make him learn a lesson for this. As i made him very clear that this kind of behavior will not be acceptable. I saw him ashamed of his acts but still i do not want to get along with him after all this. my peace of mind and happiness is much more important than anything else. I know i will cry for two months but it would be better than crying for lifetime. All i want to know is if i am going to take the right step? or if he apologized for everything, do i need to give him a last single chance which he is begging for

You have no right to punish anyone. Only courts can do that.

**michelle23** · 05-06-13, 03:07 AM

i agree that her cheating wont solve anything but if shes gonna be a doormat-she may as well do it in style.

OP it sounds like you feel obligated to stay. you should not feel bad at all for leaving him. your happienes IS more important. put yourself first and do what you feel is right

**michelle23** · 05-06-13, 03:15 AM

where does it say they split up? and was he on it after you got back together?

it sounds like other women are a common problem with him. first the friend, now this. id be running a mile

**mysteriouseyes** · 05-06-13, 03:57 AM

we did not split up in last week's fight... but it was so worse that we were talking about splitting up....

**michelle23** · 05-06-13, 04:07 AM

ok so he was cheating or planning to. same thing in my opinion. now what are you gonna do about it?

ill give you one piece of advice. hes already proved hes capable of lying. how do you know if theres not another lie thrown in there somewhere? you dont. thats what id be afraid of and thats why id leave.

when people are caught out like this and backed into a corner they lie, they sugarcoat it, they make it seem not as bad as it looks and always have an excuse ready.

id be gone but its your choice

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