is it easier to be alone?

[michelle23]

that all sounds really constructive and positive you sound like a decent bloke. youll defo meet a great woman when the time is right

[alonebeast]

thank you, and yes I will carry on being positive from this day onward sure I will have down moments but don't we all, on the whole the break up was better for me, she didn't want to move in with me but was happy using this place as a holiday camp, also I want to get back into martial arts I usto do it a lot but stopped because of her cos I would always be waiting by the phone, or email, or some rubbish..instead of encouraging my interests she stifled them, whereas I always pushed and promoted hers.

I hope so I hope I meet someone like minded and honest and sweet thank you so much

[michelle23]

your welcome and anytime your having a crappy day just come on here. ive learned a lot here and really enjoy this forum. i work alone and often feel kinda lonely and bored and this cheers me up and helps distract me from how much i hate my job right now lol.

you may even meet someone at martial arts

[alonebeast]

sorry to heart that about your work yeah usually I come on here when I feel bad I hear such sad stories then I think of myself who didn't have to get divorced or loose kids, and I think god how lucky I am,
well I hope you find work that improves your mood, nah the martial arts class is all men, however nevermind I may bump into someone amazing some place else....u never know when it will happen Ijust need to stop the crazy looking and checking my ex's fb and wondering if she has met anyone, not healthy one bit.

[michelle23]

oh itd fine. im lucky to have work with the way things are. ill find something else eventually. ya just be thankful this happened sooner rather than later after your married with two or three kids. she wasnt the right one. thees someone else for you. its normal to be a little obsessive with FB etc but try not to do that. its holding you back but its a sure sign your not ready to meet someone else yet

[alonebeast]

oh itd fine. im lucky to have work with the way things are. ill find something else eventually. ya just be thankful this happened sooner rather than later after your married with two or three kids. she wasnt the right one. thees someone else for you. its normal to be a little obsessive with FB etc but try not to do that. its holding you back but its a sure sign your not ready to meet someone else yet

Its hard we had a long relationship, lots of effort put in by both of us, but things ended badly, more effort by me...but yes looking on her fb or her twitter is not going to help my soul move on...I wish I could stop myself but she doesn't care whats happened to me so I am just making it worse for myself.

she wasn't the right one, I had slight doubts at times, but the love was more...
In this day and age be thankful to have work, without it life is hopeless...

goodluck with the work and everything no doubt we will talk on here some time again

[michelle23]

thanks. best of luck to you too.

look up the five stages of grief if you havnt already. it could take anything from 6months - 2 years to fully heal but youll get there.

its important not to invest emotionally in someone else until you are over her. otherwise you will always feel like the new girl is second best

stay strlng and take care

[Wakeup]

Michelle ~ what type of position are you looking for?

(since Op has turned the topic somewhat to careers)

[michelle23]

honestly WU i dont have a freaking clue. i worked hard in college for 3 years got straight A's. worked my ass off in this job and my last one and got nowhere. im not sure what my experience or skills are actually worth even though i know id be sucessful in a lot of areas. i just feel lost and dont know where to go from here

[Wakeup]

Well what did you take in college.. what was the goal and what is your college education in, was it just general courses you were taking?

[michelle23]

i did social studies first and then childcare. the point of that was to go on and do psychology but those two years were v stressful and i hated being broke so i got a full time job and aimed to save as much as possible. could only save 2000 so did a night course in hr management but have no work experience in it. i dont want to do childcare as the money and hours are really bad. €200-400 per week.

im working in sales/retail, managing a store for 2 and a half years but its so boring it exhausts me.

i dont care what i do as long as im busy, active and challenged with opportunities for growth as well as responsibility and work towards a decent income.

[michelle23]

i was considering taking a job in mc donalds. at least id be busy, have people to talk to and prob get promoted within 6months but id lose around 300 a month financially and cant afford that

[kkm7]

I know exactly how you feel. I started a post just a couple days ago about moving on from my breakup. I've been out of a relationship for only 4 months. and I feel soooooo lonely. But I know God will bring someone along if I stay true to myself. I'm so scared to what the future holds for me but take each day at a time. I hope my knight in shining armor comes one day to heal my broken heart. In the meantime, you and I both should work on ourselves.

Take it slow. There's so many people out there in the same boat. You'll find her one day.

[stev123]

Lol, it's much more easier at least for me. It really depends on who you are, if you're an independant person and can generally do things alone without having to have someone there with you, then being alone is great. If you aren't then you're in a bit of trouble.

[SingleBilingual]

It was easy for me to be independent. Then I met my ex-gf and then got dumped by her a few times. I lost interest in a lot of things including my hobbies. It's hard for me to concentrate on my work too.

My suggestion is to make sure you know your potential gf before you decide to commit to her. Don't go by just her appearance. The same goes for women. Otherwise, the separation could distract your life for a long long time.