does she have a right to be mad?

[tedtheman]

so me and my girlfriend got into a fight the other night. it was like 2 am and i needed someone to talk/vent to so i saw my co-worker(who is a girl) was online and talked to her about it. i was just a way of me venting and getting it off my chest. my girlfriend found out about it and is now very upset and says it was between us. i told her i did not talk bad about her or anything i was just frustrated and vented.

does she have a right to be mad?

[lalalita]

what did you talk about? were you talking about her?

[tedtheman]

what did you talk about? were you talking about her?

ust the fight we had...

[VincenzoG91]

Before saying anything else, I want to let you know that I have done the same kind of thing in the past, on multiple occasions. Finally I happened to mention it to my girlfriend, and she was very unhappy about it, and explained why.

It takes good communication to keep a relationship going. That communication is supposed to be between the two people in the relationship together. Talking to another girl about your fight with your girlfriend sends the wrong message to both women, giving the appearance that you have a very close relationship with the co-worker and not such a close relationship with your girlfriend. It wouldn't have been so bad if you were talking to a guy who was also your best friend. Talking about the fight to other guys that aren't your closest friends is iffy, but still not as bad as talking to another woman.

Try to picture the reverse. What if you found out that your girlfriend was talking about the fight to some guy that she works with... how would you feel about that? If you still don't see the issue, then just remember that it bothers your girlfriend a lot, and don't do it again if you want the relationship to continue.

[lalalita]

She absolutely has the right to be mad. You shouldn't be airing your dirty laundry around to anyone, let alone another girl. It puts your girlfriend in a bad light and makes this girl see there are cracks in your relationship, which may make her think (if she has any interest in you) that she can move in on you.

I'd be mad too.

[tedtheman]

She absolutely has the right to be mad. You shouldn't be airing your dirty laundry around to anyone, let alone another girl. It puts your girlfriend in a bad light and makes this girl see there are cracks in your relationship, which may make her think (if she has any interest in you) that she can move in on you.

I'd be mad too.

how can i get her to understand im sorry/ i have told her but she said i dont care

[VincenzoG91]

You may need to go beyond words and do something extra to change her attitude about you. Maybe get her some roses, or a little gift that shows you understand her. Or at least a card. Maybe offer to take her to a nice restaurant.

[vashti]

so me and my girlfriend got into a fight the other night. it was like 2 am and i needed someone to talk/vent to so i saw my co-worker(who is a girl) was online and talked to her about it. i was just a way of me venting and getting it off my chest. my girlfriend found out about it and is now very upset and says it was between us. i told her i did not talk bad about her or anything i was just frustrated and vented.

REALLY bad move. You are gonna suffer for this huge indiscretion. You had better hope your girlfriend is the forgiving-type.

[tedtheman]

REALLY bad move. You are gonna suffer for this huge indiscretion. You had better hope your girlfriend is the forgiving-type.

yea i know i screwed up but i just had to vent

[Am I crazy?]

Venting is what friends are for. If she is just a friend, vent away. You did nothing wrong.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Drop it and continue about your life. If she doesn't want to forgive you, then let her go without a fight. You should mirror her behavior, and if she tries to make you "suffer for this huge indiscretion", do not reward her. Tell her to get over it or **** off..she'll get over it.

[HeartIsAching]

Of course she has the right to her anger. You don't get to tell her what she does and does not feel.

On the other hand, if what you're asking is whether she's correct in that what you did was wrong - then yes, she is. You went outside your relationship instead of communicating with each other effectively within it. I've done this myself, and it's never been a good thing.

[Wakeup]

You may need to go beyond words and do something extra to change her attitude about you. Maybe get her some roses, or a little gift that shows you understand her. Or at least a card. Maybe offer to take her to a nice restaurant.

My thoughts on that: Never buy someone flowers or a small gift when the are mad at you. Send the flowers after you'ved talked it out and you've resolved things.

Who wants something from someone they're pissed off at? Buy Flowers when things are copacetic and she's feeling that you're sorry and understand why she was mad. That comes through discussion and ommission of what you did was wrong. The very fact that you ask strangers if she has a right to be mad tells me, you don't consider what you did wrong or disrespectful when it certainly was.

I question your closeness to this person at work who you so readily share your problems with.

[Wakeup]

Venting is what friends are for. If she is just a friend, vent away. You did nothing wrong.

If your wife wouldn't have a problem with it, Crazy then that's cool but to tell someone whose partner is clearly not okay with it to go ahead is unconscionable.

[HeartIsAching]

My thoughts on that: Never buy someone flowers or a small gift when the are mad at you. Send the flowers after you'ved talked it out and you've resolved things.

Who wants something from someone they're pissed off at? Buy Flowers when things are copacetic and she's feeling that you're sorry and understand why she was mad. That comes through discussion and ommission of what you did was wrong. The very fact that you ask strangers if she has a right to be mad tells me, you don't consider what you did wrong or disrespectful when it certainly was.

I question your closeness to this person at work who you so readily share your problems with.

If you do that often enough, it will also begin to associate those things with anger and fighting... which is why makeup sex is a bad idea too. Wait until you're past it.