My heart is broken, someone help me stop the pain xX

[Lost&Hurt]

I met this amazing guy, he was so different from my partner at the time, he seemed like he really cared & was decent. I cheated on & left my abusive partner after ten years of an on/off relationship, I know it was wrong, believe me, I wish everyday I had done things differently. My ex was cheating on me at the time also which drove me to meet this guy. When I got together with this new guy, he was abit controlling cause of the situation with my ex. He thinks I cheated on him, when it was my ex I cheated on. Anyway I've been seeing him for 8 months now & he is paranoid. he has broke the sim in my phone twice & left me with no phone for a month, I need that number for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with other men. I got my sim back last week cause I noticed he has started going missing every Sunday & Monday. Also, my messages are ignored, he has started going to new places, doing new things, we argued this morning cause I said let me look at your phone & he wouldn't even though I said if u don't show me you'll never see me again cause I think your seeing someone else & he said we are not together, we are friends with benefits cause I got my sim back, plus he said he has not slept with anyone, I asked him if he was cheating & he said no with a smirk on his face. So we are over & my heart is broke, I trusted him with my heart & he has broke it bad, I feel sick, please help..............

[AdminOnline]

Hi Lost&Hurt and welcome to Love Forum - Online Relationship Discussion! Hope you enjoy your stay here.

[smackie9]

You will feel better in about a week or two....you are damn lucky to get out of ANOTHER abusive relationship. In time you will heal and fully recover. Take some time to reassess your need to date these abusive assholes (you didn't make them abusive, you chose to let them be abusive by staying). Next time if the controlling, mistrust, and abuse starts....walk....no better yet run away!

I also suggest you seek out a group for abused women. I think you definitly need some support and counseling.

[Lost&Hurt]

Hi, Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them. I'm new on here, I feel so depressed, I thought he was different & I feel like all men can not be trusted. How do I heal, every guy seems to abuse me, I'm smarter than I look, I'm very pretty, I'm fragile mentally for a number of reasons. I think I attract abusers in one form all another, last night just before our break up, he punched me hard in the leg cause he said I kept waking up, when I was letting my cat in, he used to be so sweet, he called me princess, now he call me a crumb xX

You will feel better in about a week or two....you are damn lucky to get out of ANOTHER abusive relationship. In time you will heal and fully recover. Take some time to reassess your need to date these abusive assholes (you didn't make them abusive, you chose to let them be abusive by staying). Next time if the controlling, mistrust, and abuse starts....walk....no better yet run away!

I also suggest you seek out a group for abused women. I think you definitly need some support and counseling.

[smackie9]

Well mentally fragile tells me you could use some insight on why you are like this, that is why I suggest a support group.

Guys like this DO seek out the weak such as yourself so they can easily manipulate them. You need to heed the red flags that pop up, and able to see through the sugar coating. Abusers are usually TOO good to be true, and will slip up in small amouts, but quickly hide it so that you over look the red flags in the early stages of a relationship. They wait till you are too deep in love to escape, then the controlling begins, the manipulation by turning things around on you and blaming you. I know the game.

It's all about standing up for yourself and walking away. If you are strong minded they won't go near you.......maybe look into some self help books to get yourself started.

[HeartIsAching]

Hi, Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them. I'm new on here, I feel so depressed, I thought he was different & I feel like all men can not be trusted. How do I heal, every guy seems to abuse me, I'm smarter than I look, I'm very pretty, I'm fragile mentally for a number of reasons. I think I attract abusers in one form all another, last night just before our break up, he punched me hard in the leg cause he said I kept waking up, when I was letting my cat in, he used to be so sweet, he called me princess, now he call me a crumb xX

Not every guy - just the guys you choose.

Which is another good reason for a support group. Figure out why you keep picking abusive men, and how to spot them to avoid them.

[IndiReloaded]

last night just before our break up, he punched me hard in the leg cause he said I kept waking up, when I was letting my cat in, he used to be so sweet, he called me princess, now he call me a crumb xX

Kick him in the balls next time you see him and then leave. This guy is a douche.

[Lost&Hurt]

Thanks for your reply, I know I am better off without him. Cause I was so in love with him, I let him control me. I don't think I can go through a relationship ever again. I'm so deeply scarred by men. they are meant to protect & love woman, why do they want to hurt me, believe me, it feels like they set out to hurt me from the start? In fact the way this relationship started, it would have been impossible for him to keep up his fake charm & sweetness forever, I should have seen through it when I told myself he is to good to be true. Its day 2, the pain is no better, its feels like a deep, internal weight pulling & flicking at my heart strings, I can't eat xX

[Lost&Hurt]

Thanks again, I'm gonna be strong & I'm going to do it for me & put myself first for once in my life. It's hard but I'm not gonna contact him or anything. I already ready know at day 2, that this is his loss not mine in the long run. I'm gonna be strong cause there are good kind people like you guys in this forum, in this world & I'm not going to let a low life drag me down in his pit. I still feel sick, but I accept it xX

[Pinkblush15]

For me he's not a real man cause he hurt you. Find someone that truly loves you and not going to hurt you but not this time. Wait for the right time and you should not seek love. Move on and if he's going to hurt you again please call a police.

[smackie9]

Dear you are in the grieving stage after a break up. After about a week, the waves of pain start to subside. By week 3 you will start to feel normal, and feel as though a weigh has lifted off your shoulders. After that life will feel like a breath of fresh air. It's tough in the beginning, but once you are over that 2 week hurdle it's pretty much smooth sailing from there.

Oh and stay away from men for awhile and rediscover your independence, make new friends, call old one, keep busy, etc.

[michelle23]

hun stay away from ALL men for awhile. look up co-dependency and work on your self esteem to ensure you develop better taste in men. Set your standards higher and learn to be happy on your own until the right man comes along. stop settling for second best. You prob have a fear of being alone and you need to get over that-take some time out. Be single for 12 months, make positive changes to your life and become an independent, confident young woman. Then you will start attracting the right type of men.

Grow a backbone, dont take any shit from anyone and if someone hurts you-you walk away coz you have to love yourself more and know when enough is enough and to walk away. stop wasting time on losers hoping they will change for you-they wont. Find someone who is great already and doesnt need to be changed or fixed in any way

Best of luck