Male Bartender Friend

[whatwhatwhit]

So last week, I was went on a date with a guy I met around Christmas. He told me to meet him at this local bar. I arrived a little bit earlier never been to this bar in town before, and I see this guy I knew when I was kid he's 7 years older than I am so we never talked. We were more acquaintances went to the same church, he was in the youth group I was just beginning to be in the youth group etc etc. So, when I see him I'm like "I know you", and he looked at me and was like "yeah we do know each other"!

So we chat/catch up up for a bit, and then my date comes in. I was a little disappointed because I think at that point I was more interested in staying and chatting with my bartender friend than my date. I'm not rude, so I leave and go on my date. Ask my bartender friend when he works, and tell him I'll come visit him the next day. Didn't though.

Date was super awkward. I don't know if I haven't seen you in a while, you can't just assume that everything is back to normal, or think that gives you permission to stick your tongue down my throat lol.

So, yesterday I go back to visit mr.bartender. He grabs my hand to shake it and holds on to it for a minute and we are like staring at each other/talking for a good 5 seconds before he lets go haha. He compliments my polka dotted dress, and says I look pretty. And then comments, "no hot date"?. I laugh and tell him no and explained what happened. I stay there for a little bit, and I tell him that I have to go, and he's like where ya going"? I tell him I am going to a happy hour with some co-workers. Then he's like I took care of the first drink for you so it will be this amount. He persuades me to stay for one more drink, become friends with some strangers at the bar...and stayed longer.

I did end up asking for his number, he's in a band, so I tried to crack a joke about it, and he gave it to me. When I left nothing magical happened. I texted him that it was me and he hasn't responded.

So, I know that it's a bartender's job to flirt, and give free drinks to keep people coming back. But do y'all think there maybe could be something there? Also, how do you go about dating a bartender? I definitely want to see him, but I don't want to look clingy by showing up every Friday.

Thanks guys!

[smackie9]

Don't assume he is ignoring you, not everyone is addicted to their phone and check it every 2 seconds.... He probably was busy. If you want to do things properly call him not text him and ask him if he wants to meet up sometime for a few drinks and some appies. Or ask him when his band is playing next so you can go see him.

[whatwhatwhit]

Don't assume he is ignoring you, not everyone is addicted to their phone and check it every 2 seconds.... He probably was busy. If you want to do things properly call him not text him and ask him if he wants to meet up sometime for a few drinks and some appies. Or ask him when his band is playing next so you can go see him.

but do you think he could be interested...or is he just doing his job which is just being a friendly bartender?

Thanks!

[smackie9]

You don't know until you get together with him outside of work.

[michelle23]

i doubt hed buy you a drink, hold your hand, give you his number and ask about your date if hes not interested. that was his subtle way of asking are you single.

but one text is enough-i would leave the ball in his court. if hes interested you WILL hear from him.

[smackie9]

Interested? Not after a text that says "Hey it's me".

[Luvs9399]

You have to understand that because he's a bartender, he sees all types of women everyday so you aren't any different than those other females. Not to mention you asked HIM for his number (not that he wouldn't ask you for yours) but it does change the dynamic of things because he has the control now. If he doesn't hit you up then leave it alone because if a man wants to invest his time into a woman he will. & for future advice, whenever you meet a guy who attracts a lot of woman .. the last thing u want to do is seem too available and ask for his number no matter how much you like him.

[smackie9]

It really depends on the person. I have dated two bartenders. Both were interested in a relationship with me, but both were very different. One was too different and wasn't compatible, I found out, the other was too eager to jump into a relationship. Both were attractive, but surprisingly enough they were genuinely not players. I worked in a bar for 4 years and it is difficult to date because you do get hit on all the time when you are working. But it never stopped me from finding my husband who was a customer. Anything is possible.

[whatwhatwhit]

Thanks for your imput guys. Still confused though. I mean I get that bartenders can be flirty and whatever, and I am not a stranger to him. I guess I am wondering what I should do from here. I don't plan on showing up to his bar every Friday, dont want to be too obvious, however, I am kind of crushing and don't know what to do about it. I am really bad at flirting, and definitely never know when a guy likes me. Which is why I posted on here. Do I have a shot.....or do I let it go decisions decisions....

[smackie9]

We already told you, A, you let him contact you or B, try to make arrangements to see him play in his band (go talk to him about this in person)....it will give you a chance to see how he responds to you when he isn't being a bartender. That's when you should get your answer. Sorry we can't tell you if he truly is or not....we were not there to see it.

[whatwhatwhit]

touche touche!

[michelle23]

A lot of the guys I grew up with worked as bartenders and most of them are genuine guys-not players.

[whatwhatwhit]

I agree michelle.... i also think i'm fretting also because he didn't text back :/

[smackie9]

Since is was a crappy Hi it's me......there is nothing there but possible friend zoning crap which all guys try to avoid. If you can't put any flirt into it to entice him to want to respond to you then you will go nowhere. Basically you are showing very little interest in that text. You gotta work for it hun if you want a man to respond.

[whatwhatwhit]

Sounds good...so should I shoot him a text, and if so what do I say....or should I just show up to his bar next friday?