He Talks About His Children's Mother Too Much

[ladyluck87]

I said "You're not over it" and he was like "She has a bad attitude and I am glad I don't have to deal with anymore. I don't see myself with her right now because of how she treats me and I doubt that will ever change. So no not right now. I know that she can't give me what I need or she would have. Why should I settle for her not giving me what I need anymore? I deserve to be happy and be with someone who will love and support me and that's what I want."

He's mentioned her a few times, and that's cool but my goodness...I don't want to talk about her too much. SMH.

Also I feel like him saying "right now" is a red flag.

[michelle23]

it is ALL a red flag. hes still in love with her and prob always will be. my bfs father is still in love with his other. they were together for 20years and theve been apart 9years

[Cerby]

Kids are a part of the equation, which means they will always be a part of each others lives. There is no way to get around it, so you deal or you move on.

But you're right, the term "right now" is suspect.

[Wakeup]

How long ago did he break up with her and are you his first 'relationship' since that breakup?

[ladyluck87]

How long ago did he break up with her and are you his first 'relationship' since that breakup?

He told me 1.5-2 years ago. And yeah, I believe so. He told me that since then he's been on a selfish kick and is really just starting to want to get back into a relationship since being with her. He has told me that he really likes me and that it has been a long time since he has felt that way about a girl. However, from our first conversation(dating website) until yesterday, I feel like I've heard about their situation more than what I care to know.

[michelle23]

He told me 1.5-2 years ago. And yeah, I believe so. He told me that since then he's been on a selfish kick and is really just starting to want to get back into a relationship since being with her. He has told me that he really likes me and that it has been a long time since he has felt that way about a girl. However, from our first conversation(dating website) until yesterday, I feel like I've heard about their situation more than what I care to know.

I would forget about him and move on with my life. He is still emotionally attached to her. Otherwise he wouldn't feel the need to talk about her so much unless it has something to do with his children.

[ladyluck87]

Should it be done face to face, phone, text?

[Wakeup]

You didn't say how long you've been dating but I'm assuming not that long. At this point I'd just email him and give him the news. He'll just add you to the other baggage he's carrying around and the next chick will have to deal with it.

If he's been divorced for almost two years then he shouldn't be volunteering information about her IMO... and he likely wouldn't if he was to the stage of indifference to her. Now if you asked him about her, that's a different story. I doubt he'd go back to her (because it sounds like she can't be bothered with him) but he's still bitter.

[michelle23]

i think face to face is better unless its long distance-then text or email

[Wakeup]

^^ I'd agree if they were together for a long time, but It doesn't appear that they have been. *shrugs* How long have you been dating, OP?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't worry about doing it in person. The dude sounds like a whiny pussy. Just do it on the phone. Make it short.

[MadH7]

I've been dealing with the same situation. And him and I have almost been together for a year. Things get tougher and more complicated as it goes on. My bf actually left me a few months ago to try and work things out with his ex that he has a kid with and would constantly talk about. He ended up coming back to me because she didn't wanna be with him she just wanted to see if he would leave me for her. Well he did and then he came running back and I took him back. And everything has been even tougher since. So if I were you I would get out while your still ahead and before it gets much deeper. I know easier said than done.

[ladyluck87]

I've been dealing with the same situation. And him and I have almost been together for a year. Things get tougher and more complicated as it goes on. My bf actually left me a few months ago to try and work things out with his ex that he has a kid with and would constantly talk about. He ended up coming back to me because she didn't wanna be with him she just wanted to see if he would leave me for her. Well he did and then he came running back and I took him back. And everything has been even tougher since. So if I were you I would get out while your still ahead and before it gets much deeper. I know easier said than done.

I agree! I tried to break it off over the phone last night but he was talking about how stressed he was from work and what a bad day he had. I didn't know where to squeeze that information in.

[michelle23]

I agree! I tried to break it off over the phone last night but he was talking about how stressed he was from work and what a bad day he had. I didn't know where to squeeze that information in.

Send a text saying "we need to talk, can I ring you now" then when he asks whats wrong just tell him its not working and you want to stop seeing each other.

[ladyluck87]

SMH and LOL @ Backup. Sheesh.

And Wakeup, no we haven't been together long at all. We are talking a month! Nothing substantial.