too confused to think straight

[Johnny!!]

hey all!! well again i find myself in this classic situation of me thinkin the world of this girl and not having a clue about her feelings for me.I have known her for about 6 months and from the first time i spoke to her we got on real well, i made her laugh and we kinda clicked, twas great! anyways i really thought that we could be great together. i must have screwed up sumwhere cos she lost interest totally. but its only not after reading the stuff off here and the net that i did pritty much everythin wrong and it seemed 2 reflect on her attidute towards me. we ended having silences and i am sure she was avoiding me for a time.

well that was a few months ago and now we talk more, but i think she might be flirting but i ent sure.she always mocks me in a messin about way and i do the same back to her, but it seems that she only treats me this way. but the thing is that i dont wanna try sumthin and then realise that she was just tryin to be friendly and i took it the wrong way! the other thing is that i kinda need sum tips on wot 2 do cos im stuck at the mo! any help is great thx

[Johnny!!]

lol ok im an idoit 4 putting this in the wrong section but hey!

[Tone]

You can make the move and find out if there is something more between you, possibly risk losing the friendship. Or you can sit back and do nothing and drive yourself crazy trying to hold back your true feelings for her, and remain friends.

The great thing about life, is you get to make these decisions for yourself :)

[whaywardj]

Uh...seems to me, Johnny, the worst that can happen is she can say, "No." You got a problem with that? Why?

[Johnny!!]

well i no that she had a bf a few months ago n i havent herd about him 4 sum time, so i suppose i might as well give it a go. should i ask 1 of her friends about if she is still seeing him? just incase i ask her,and she is cos that could be a bit akward.

[whaywardj]

NO. It's between you and her. Keep it that way. There's no virtue in 'testing' her waters by asking someone else how warm they might be. What makes you think you have to express your feelings with words, anyway? Actually, when push comes to shove, expressing your feelings in words is, really, quite ineffective. Words are just the frame around things. They mean little in and of themselves. Just DO things that draw her closer to you, and AVOID doing things that push her away. She'll come round to you. Or she won't. Be prepared to accept either outcome.

[indigosoul]

NO. It's between you and her. Keep it that way. There's no virtue in 'testing' her waters by asking someone else how warm they might be. What makes you think you have to express your feelings with words, anyway? Actually, when push comes to shove, expressing your feelings in words is, really, quite ineffective. Words are just the frame around things. They mean little in and of themselves. Just DO things that draw her closer to you, and AVOID doing things that push her away. She'll come round to you. Or she won't. Be prepared to accept either outcome.

I completely agree. Words mean little if the actions that go along with them aren't consistent. Some would call that lying, in fact, and could do more harm than good.

Just wanted to add that, at some point, you WILL need to state your feelings. But best if your actions have been consistent w/your feelings. Try not to do anything that might be ambiguous to her (like teasing in a way that might be taken negatively). Good luck!

[Johnny!!]

cool stuff, cheers ppl