I'm literally crying as i type, yes i am new :( hoping to get some advice please

[tonystarkben]

I'm in a bit of a jam and i don't know what to do

I have been with my girlfriend just over 18 months. All was great, we were very happy and travelled together and she pretty much lived at my house. I am 26, she is 21.

Just before Christmas, she made a big mistake. She got drunk at a party and slept with a guy. She told me about it and it was hard, very hard but i turned up at her door the next day and said lets talk about it. We moved on and all was good again.

I was at a friends party a few weeks ago and a girl tried to kiss me. She was nice but i had a girlfriend, obviously but i admit, i did kiss her on the lips, thought " what are you doing" and stopped. To be honest, i could have gone home with her but i didn't.

2 weeks ago the girl sent me girlfriend the picture of us kissing on facebook. She found me on there and said to my girlfriend we had been seeing eachother for weeks and all sorts of lies.

I admitted to kissing her but told her nothing else happened. It didnt and i knew what an *** i had been and i loved her.

My girlfriend said kissing is still cheating and she left me 2 weeks ago. She has asked for space but we have spoken most days but i let her get in touch. Some days she says she misses me, the other days she is cold and says she wants to cry. It is hard giving her space as i miss seeing her.

I know this doesn't give me a free pass but i don't understand why she cannot forgive me when i forgave her for something much worse. Even her family say the same.

I think her friends are influencing her, she is out with them most nights but they don't know about what happened in the past so i'm , in their eyes, a horrid guy. The ironic thing is, one of her friends telling her to get rid of me, her own boyfriend hits her!

I know i did wrong but i have NEVER done wrong before. I looked after my girlfriend SO SO well, and did more than any other guy would.

I thought maybe she's using this as an excuse to get out of the relationship but i don't think so. We were so happy before this and she even wrote me a lovely letter the day before this came out.

She told me that she's not a girl to be made a fool of or walked over.

People are saying i can do much better but i don't care. I just want her back. I'm literally leaving her alone, we have spoken a few times by text but i let her get in touch, like the atm swallowed her bank card so i gave her some money to get to work for the week and for lunch. Apart from that, nothing.

It's been over 2 weeks now and i just don't know what to do now. I never put her through this for what she did. Any advice would be great, thank you. I know i'm leaving her be but at the same time i don't want to look like i don't care.


thank you

Thanks for the advice.

[michelle23]

its over. You should have walked away when she cheated on you. You chose to forgive her which means you dont have a free pass to kiss other girls. Two wrongs dont make it right. I think you would not have done that if she didn't cheat.

Btw most women are not forgiving when it comes to cheating even if she has already cheated on you. Men are saps-a lot of you believe the woman to be the innocent victim and blame it all on the other man. Women on the other hand are not naive and will blame you and ONLY you for cheating on her.

Walk away. You forgave her coz you couldnt bear the thought of losing her. However, what she did will fester in your mind and grow and in a year from now you will be even more hurt than you were when she cheated when you try to come to terms with it. It never goes away and it will only come back to haunt you again and again if you stay with her

[onafriday]

You got it all wrong.
There's no relationship after cheating.
Everything else are bollocks.

[VincenzoG91]

So you forgave her, but she can't forgive you for a lesser offense? Do yourself a favor and go No Contact with her for a while. Maybe she will miss you and decide to forgive you. Or maybe she will quickly move on. Either way, it's better for you just cut off contact with her for now.

[miki036]

It only has been two weeks man..
Yes, true you forgave her with what she did, and I am guessing she made up for it..
and I admire you for that..
but what you did was also not right.. true, that two wrongs does not make one right..
but..
i still believe that love conquers all..
what she heard was that you were cheating on her on a "relationship with another girl" and it really does hurt even though you did not do it..
what she did was did a sexual act for one night and told you the truth..
I did not say that she was better because all the more I think CHEATING is the same no matter the intensity is..

What I'm really trying to say is that, if you really love her..
after the space you gave her..
show good effort that you love her..
and no one else matters..
she is a girl anyway, showing how much you love her might turn things around..
don't give up man..

[UnderTheMoon]

It seems like you both are in a bad place. Move on, cry, go through the anguish and when you are done feeling bad, and your heart starts to heal you will feel better that you did. I don't see how you could forgive such a thing. I have always hated it when someone says "I got drunk and I didn't know what I was doing." How about yes, yes you did know what you were doing because I have been nearly black out drunk and if I didn't want to have sex with someone I didn't and never have. The only way I would believe something like that is if someone told me I had sex with someone and I couldn't remember doing it or let alone anything else that happened after the last drink I had, I would be terrified, that would have meant I was drugged and I doubt that this was the case for her. You need to step away from the rose colored glasses and look at this in a different light, sure what you did wasn't as bad, but you know what, like Michelle said, you probably wouldn't have even done that if she hadn't screwed some other guy before. Move on, there is a girl out there who will never treat you that way and deserves to be loved and respected. I also guarantee she will have the sense to say no if she ever ends up the in the same circumstance. They exist, I am living proof of that. So cry, get it out of your system, and learn to forgive yourself instead of someone else.

[IzzyGuy]

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[Issues]

Oh wah i'm soooo sorry

[IndiReloaded]

Wow what a hypocrite your GF is. Your only mistake at this point was to not go all the way with this other girl.

Anyway, just break up already. Your relationship was over when she cheated. Its been Zombie-mode since then.