Is he a sweet talker only?

[ElizabethB]

We talk on FB since April. Since day one, he called me beautiful, pretty, sweetheart, babe...
He never calls me my real name. He sent me 2 sexy pics of him without me asking for them or talking about any subject related to it.
Later on, he asked if I can send him some pics. I said NO. I told him he got wrong girl for it and he reply he wants any picture of me.

We talk a lot but nothing is really deep. He keeps saying how much he misses me... how he wants to kiss my soft lips and how much he cant wait to see me in December- when he gets home. He said he wants to see my a lot and get to know me. He said he won't do anything I would not like and he can keep his hands to himself but next day he will say how much he wants me and have all this lust talk... I am very confused. I don't trust him much even though I love how sweet he is to me. He writes almost every day but there are moments when it takes him forever to reply as he was talking to more people at once.
It really makes me wonder if he does this to more than one girl. Why would you play this mind games with many??? How can you tell you miss someone if it's not true? I just don't get it. Lately, he started to ask for sexy pics. I sent him one - innocent - nothing revealing. Then, he asked for one in bra and panties. I said NO to him and asked if he can use his imagination.
He is not asking anymore. He keeps saying he wants to see me when he gets home though and can't wait to kiss me. He also said couple times that he will marry me one day which I find tiny bit ridiculous. Same thing all the time - miss me, wants to kiss me, how was my day... I don't know much about him.
I told him that girls get attached and hurt. He said he will never hurt me.... My problem is, I do care about him in some way already and don't know what to do or what to tell him to find out about what he wants or who he really is. Any advice?

[miki036]

Just a friendly advice, don't lose your heart to a man who doesn't see it as a gem..
basing from your story, he just lust you.. sorry for being straight to the point..
I can also see that you have already developed feelings for him that is why you took you time posting this post about him.. I know for sure that you already know his intentions..
You just needed a push..

I would suggest that you cut you communications with him so that your feelings wouldn't grow fonder..
You deserve a guy who wouldn't ask for sexy pics of you every now and then..
you deserve a guy who would respect you and talk about more sensible stuff..
you deserve a guy who would control his libido and let his amygdala talk..

[Empty Road]

I have a feeling you're not the only one he's sweet-talking to. He just wants to get in your pants, nothing more.

[4blossoms]

Hi Elizabeth, this guy is using you. Someone who declares their love for you without ever having met you and who wants photos of you in your underwear is a creepy man. Don't fall for his lies. He is not treating you with the respect and consideration of someone who genuinely loves you. Look for a person who shows more sincerity and respect and always ask yourself 'what is his motive?'

[michelle23]

hes full of crap. stop talking to him. all his sweet talk is bull. never trust a guy who mentions love or marriage before you have even met him. thats just plain creepy and he doesnt mean a word of it. dont send him any pics unless you want to end up on the internet. stop talking to him.

girl if your doing online dating-there are a few things you need to learn.

1. only talk to local men that live near by
2. talk to ten different guys at once
3. meet the ones you see potential with for coffee in a public place asap
4. if you see any red flags-ignore him and move on the next one

remember a large % of these people are not genuine. its like trying to find a needle in a haystack so sift through the garbage quickly till you find someone you click with

[paythebills]

he sounds creepy

[smackie9]

Say my name, say my name...

[kirsy]

He just wants to smash and leave nothing else he isn't worth your time and mostly likely your not the only girl he sweet talks to. So don't get your hopes just because he talks to you everyday doesn't mean he wants you long distance relationship never works your getting played just be careful and don't get hurt because anyone can say they love you through a message and won't mean it...

[jonnybegood]

Run away fast as you can, I do the who online thing but have never asked a girl for those sorts of photos, sure I've asked for an up to date photo just to make sure she is who she says she is.

Guess I'm a little old fashioned and like to leave somethings as a surprise, oh and the fact I'm not a pervy old man praying on beautiful young girls!

Move on find a nice guy, we are out there promise!

[ElizabethB]

Thank you very much for all your answers. I am tiny bit disappointed. Not that I did not expect that but I always hope for best in people. I just don't understand how someone can pretend so much. I wish I could actually ask him if he talks the same way to other girls. I would think by being in early 30 - I would be less naive. I feel that if I play along and then we meet, I will finally see who he really see. But then again, I will get hurt not him. Silly me even think of it.

[smackie9]

This is what I always say...if it doesn't feel right then it's not.

[avine]

Delete him!! This guy continuously sways the conversation to physical stuff or wanting to see sexy pics of you, sorry to be so direct but what do you think he wants them for?? You said you never talked about anything deep that indicates he is not interested in knowing you as a person, he is just looking for a sex object. I assure you that you are not the only one he talks to and not the only one who he says all the nice things to and cannot wait to meet. He is only after one thing you should run as fast as you can or you will get hurt. I know the hardest thing to get your mind around is how people can say one thing and do something completely different, or not mean it at all, but it is unfortunately what happens and it has happened to me on numerous occasions and I still dont have an explanation for it. Fact is that not everyone is decent and honest. If you already have doubts listen to your instincts they dont lie, nothing worse than getting hurt and thinking ´I have known all along´. Hope this helps x

[Boisdevie]

He keeps saying how much he misses me... how he wants to kiss my soft lips and how much he cant wait to see me in December- when he gets home.

Have you actually met in what some of us refer to as 'the real world' or is this just more online bullshittery?

[sadbunnyface]

Have you ever met him in person? he sounds like a online playa to me. With all the babycakes-like petnames.. I had an ex who used to call me babe all the time I said babe is a Pig, pick another name or use my real name from now one because I don't like being called babe! I was very direct and never got called babe even once again. Message was quickly received.

[ElizabethB]

I have met this guy about five years ago. We were taking some classes together but we were not close or anything. Then, recently, I found him on Facebook and he started to talk to me. I feel like an idiot these days. When I read advices on here, I do feel better and trying to separate fantasy world from real one. Then, when I go on FB and he starts talking to me, I forget everything. Those red flags are flashing front of my face and something in me keeps ignoring them. My newest excuse for his behavior is that he cannot be such and such because he is a soldier and those are great people because they fight for our country and he, poor thing, is deployed right now. I do have to be crazy or something. It is still same scenario.... hey baby, you are so beautiful, can't wait to kiss you, see you, I only come home for you, I wish I had GF like you, I only want you. When I try to talk about meaningful things - he is tired, ready for bed, etc. If I react to his seducing talk - he gets full of energy. He never tells me much about his life and or he says he cant talk about army related things. I wish I could confront him about those things I don't believe he means. I scream inside of me how much I don't trust him and yet, I keep talking to him and missing him when I don't. Part of me wants to see him as this nice and sweet soldier, other part of me is slapping my face to help me get my sanity back. Anyway, he wants to see me soon. He was already talking about taking hotel room for us to get some privacy. He said it is not about sex and does not want to make it all about it. He just wants to see me and kiss me. or just see me. Now you can tell me how stupid and naive I am for caring about him and believing in something what is hardly there.