I want to Kill my exes. Literally.

[rafterman]

Millie - I'm sure I'm not alone in this... but I don't read your posts. I haven't a clue what the content of them is, I skip 'em because of the eye-bleed color. For all I know your posts might be insightful and intelligent.

Her posts are of value IMO... maybe you cant read them, because you're looking through rose tinted glasses

[namemyname]

OMG! What is wrong with some of you?! I am extremely disappointed in some of the things I have read here in the last 24 hours, vehemently disappointed. A true homicidal maniac would not be on here leaving a trail behind if they planned on killing someone, normally this would be a heat of the moment kind of thing. The fact is, from EVERYTHING else I have read, OP is experiencing a severe grief from losing so many times in her life. GRIEF COMES IN MANY SHAPES AND FORMS, IT TAKES MANY SHAPES AND FORMS, AND IS RELEASED IN AN ENDLESS AMOUNT OF WAYS.
You don't think if someone said something negative about my dead sister I wouldn't **** them up? I mean, I WOULD KILL someone if they talked about my sister, or her kids in a negative way. I find it intolerable and one day, I won't be so bad, but I might as well have a knife protruding from my heart and every time someone says something hurtful to me, it's like they are flicking the blade and then salting the freshly torn wound.

The fact is your all guilty. You have all treated someone you love like shit because you were hurt or angry. You ALL have had a violent swing to want to harm someone WHETHER or not you can own up to it. WE all have. Those who are afraid of this impulse, WOULD turn to look for help but all I see are people harshly criticizing a young woman who is trying to vent through all the healthy means that she can. When you have a problem and you feel you are not right. Reaching out for help is EXACTLY what should be done.

Don't tell me, or anyone else, what I'm guilty of. Have I, in the heat of the moment, wanted to hit someone? Yes. Have I? No. Have I planned out the ways I would want to murder someone? Umm...seriously?

The OP has already sliced someone, just for saying the wrong thing to her. You think that's "healthy venting", do ya? She should already be locked up and undergoing an intensive psych evaluation and treatment. She is clearly a danger to others.

And if you would "kill" someone for saying something about your sister, then I can see why you support the OP, because your emotional and psychological makeup is exactly the same, and just as unstable.

The response and reaction needs to fit the offense.

[HeartIsAching]

They might be... but I'm not putting on sunglasses just to read her shit.

[JoeyFromFriends]

I agree, the bitch that uses the pink font is an utter cunt. The OP, however, is funny.

[Rowen]

Well, you live in the USA, so all I'll tell you is that the criminal sentence for premeditated murder is longer than spontaneous. So, don't think about it; just do it. lmfao jk

In all seriousness, seek help...not a weapon.

[UnderTheMoon]

Lol, I could be a psycho, but I don't see people willingly trying to start a fight either. And If I remember correctly I said we have all had these thoughts WHETHER or not we admit to them. If you can't admit it, that is fine, but I guarantee everyone has hit a point in time where they shook with rage and it took everything they had to lock it all up.

I never said she was ok with the slashing comment she made, I said it wasn't right, I even said she took it out on the wrong person in the wrong way which is why I said she should find something inanimate to vent on and wear herself out on.

I don't believe a single person here can say their mind was thick with sugar and honey when they encountered something devastating and I think this kind of rage goes beyond dumping. Just sitting here and telling someone they are psychotic doesn't help, I am sure they already feel this way and alarm themselves with their own actions hence the need for advice and complete and utter help. Her post may have been terrifying, but sometimes we all are. No one is normal and 100% healthy, and those who believe they are, are only fooling themselves.

And my mental stability is fine. I don't think anyone is stupid enough to make fun of completely orphaned children to someone's face, and if they do, an they get a bloodied up mouth, their problem. (If that makes someone mad oh well, you don't attack someone when they are in a weak state of mind and grieving, you might as well be kicking a hornets nest.) When I tell people how I feel, they normally know not to touch the subject because it is touchy for me, and someone trying to dig their way into that mess is asking for a beating. It will be a long time before I recover from that loss, it took me a long time before when I watched my cousin and her baby come out of a car in pieces after being wrapped up around a pole. Tell me you are normal after you witness something so horrible. You never are and those who say they are, I think have deeper issues to address, but I doubt majority of people who read this will agree with what I feel, but then again we are all different and I could give a **** less what someone else thinks. My opinion is mine, and those who HAVE been there will agree and understand how hard it is to deal with such a heavy load of feelings.

Hence when I posted what I did last, I said "some of you" not all but some. If my opinion offends, then take a ticket and stand in line with the rest. I have no problem addressing each and every single person one at a time with my full attention.

[JoeyFromFriends]

stfu, no one reads your epic posts

[UnderTheMoon]

Don't tell me, or anyone else, what I'm guilty of. Have I, in the heat of the moment, wanted to hit someone? Yes. Have I? No. Have I planned out the ways I would want to murder someone? Umm...seriously?

The OP has already sliced someone, just for saying the wrong thing to her. You think that's "healthy venting", do ya? She should already be locked up and undergoing an intensive psych evaluation and treatment. She is clearly a danger to others.

And if you would "kill" someone for saying something about your sister, then I can see why you support the OP, because your emotional and psychological makeup is exactly the same, and just as unstable.

The response and reaction needs to fit the offense.

The violent impulse is something we are all guilty of like I said. I said she needed to do some healthy venting, to something and not someone, and if someone ****ed up and said something about my sister, yes, I would go crazy on them, because a normal person, wouldn't say something at all in such a negative way. I am not normal, and I have my own issues, granted my actions have fit the offense on more than one occasion but, I think you skimmed which is fine I write a lot but I think you missed some of what I said.

You just admitted to what I was saying we are all guilty of. The variance of how far that is taken, is different for everyone. That is also why I gave her a lot of ways to get help. I don't want to see someone fall down the hole and never come back. That can be a hard place to leave once you get there.

Your thoughts are your own.

[JoeyFromFriends]

yea its hard to get out a hole.

[namemyname]

Lol, I could be a psycho, but I don't see people willingly trying to start a fight either. And If I remember correctly I said we have all had these thoughts WHETHER or not we admit to them. If you can't admit it, that is fine, but I guarantee everyone has hit a point in time where they shook with rage and it took everything they had to lock it all up.

I never said she was ok with the slashing comment she made, I said it wasn't right, I even said she took it out on the wrong person in the wrong way which is why I said she should find something inanimate to vent on and wear herself out on.

I don't believe a single person here can say their mind was thick with sugar and honey when they encountered something devastating and I think this kind of rage goes beyond dumping. Just sitting here and telling someone they are psychotic doesn't help, I am sure they already feel this way and alarm themselves with their own actions hence the need for advice and complete and utter help. Her post may have been terrifying, but sometimes we all are. No one is normal and 100% healthy, and those who believe they are, are only fooling themselves.

And my mental stability is fine. I don't think anyone is stupid enough to make fun of completely orphaned children to someone's face, and if they do, an they get a bloodied up mouth, their problem. (If that makes someone mad oh well, you don't attack someone when they are in a weak state of mind and grieving, you might as well be kicking a hornets nest.) When I tell people how I feel, they normally know not to touch the subject because it is touchy for me, and someone trying to dig their way into that mess is asking for a beating. It will be a long time before I recover from that loss, it took me a long time before when I watched my cousin and her baby come out of a car in pieces after being wrapped up around a pole. Tell me you are normal after you witness something so horrible. You never are and those who say they are, I think have deeper issues to address, but I doubt majority of people who read this will agree with what I feel, but then again we are all different and I could give a **** less what someone else thinks. My opinion is mine, and those who HAVE been there will agree and understand how hard it is to deal with such a heavy load of feelings.

Hence when I posted what I did last, I said "some of you" not all but some. If my opinion offends, then take a ticket and stand in line with the rest. I have no problem addressing each and every single person one at a time with my full attention.

?? Huh?

Sorry, no. Perhaps you need to feel better about yourself for being a violent person, but I am not like that. Nor do I associate with anyone who is, frankly. Sure, I've been plenty mad before, and everyone does get that way. But I don't start thinking about maiming, hurting, or killing people. I know how to handle my anger, as most people do.

Hey - angry and violent people need to rationalize their rage, so if finding a soul sister in the OP works for you, or painting everyone in the world with the same rageaholic brush as you, then go for it. It sounds like you're also looking for excuses to not be able to control your rage and outbursts. Lots of people have been through trauma, dear. Far worse that whatever yours are. And they don't walk around itching to throw a beat down or feel entitled to want to hurt others.

SIGH.

I hope you also find a healthy outlet for your rage. Displaced, you're just as dangerous as the OP.

[UnderTheMoon]

I'm not "sick". I've seen posts (not here, elsewhere) far worse than mine. Daydreaming or envisioning doing what I want to do is what keeps me from actually doing it. I have read that those who don't daydream actually act out their impulses more. So it is really a good thing that I have a vivid imagination.

I briefly went to a psych a long time ago because of something else unrelated to this, and it was nothing, just some stupid "personality disorders", which I am 99% sure are just made up so that psychological theorists can have something to do. If it were anything of real concern, they would have prescribed me meds or something, but there was none of that. It was an irrelevant waste of money when I went, so even if I had the money now, I don't know what good they could possibly do.

Physical pain is fleeting. Other pain, or "spiritual" pain, is not. I can live with permanent physical scars, I already have those anyway. But not permanent internal scars. If I could find some way to destroy them internally...I'd much prefer that to destroying them physically. The former is worse, because that's a lifetime of torture eating away at your insides.

This whole thing is just not right. And I wouldn't be surprised if the person I cut decided to cut my face back. That would be fair, so I couldn't complain. I earned that scar. He hasn't been around me since, but if I get the chance to speak to him, I have thought about offering to let him cut me back. I don't see why I shouldn't, because I deserve it. I snapped on the wrong person. He can get back at me.
But these internal scars...I didn't earn those. I never hurt them. I want to get back at them. I'd rather they had all just cracked whips to my back. Then I might care less.

This situation apparently looks small to everyone else's mindsets, since people apparently do this to each other all the time. But to mine...they've done far worse than cracked whips to my flesh, all three. If the amount of damage inflicted from this were physical rather than internal...then you'd see.

You need to apologize to him, even though I am sure he would never accept it. The fact is, what's done is done, and it is time to move on and work on making your life a healthier one. I would be lying if I said there was a light at the end of the tunnel of this journey, but it takes a while and you have to keep working on it. The fact is, if you were diagnosed with personality disorders than you REALLY need to hurry in and take up that free counseling which is available to you and I guarantee you can obtain free healthcare too. It is available to those who qualify and I think you do.

You need meds and counseling, and I know you don't like hearing that, but that is the case my dear. Don't worry about getting involved for a while. You need to take your time on yourself and become a healthier person. You don't want your life ruined because you neglected yourself.

[JoeyFromFriends]

you tell her namethename, bitch is a danger to us all imo

[UnderTheMoon]

?? Huh?

Sorry, no. Perhaps you need to feel better about yourself for being a violent person, but I am not like that. Nor do I associate with anyone who is, frankly. Sure, I've been plenty mad before, and everyone does get that way. But I don't start thinking about maiming, hurting, or killing people. I know how to handle my anger, as most people do.

Hey - angry and violent people need to rationalize their rage, so if finding a soul sister in the OP works for you, or painting everyone in the world with the same rageaholic brush as you, then go for it. It sounds like you're also looking for excuses to not be able to control your rage and outbursts. Lots of people have been through trauma, dear. Far worse that whatever yours are. And they don't walk around itching to throw a beat down or feel entitled to want to hurt others.

SIGH.

I hope you also find a healthy outlet for your rage. Displaced, you're just as dangerous as the OP.

If I was that bad, I would already be locked up and sure not playing on the internet. : ) I am glad you know my life and the tragedies it has. I never said I handled it well but I am trying. WHAT I WANT and what I actually DO are two different things.

[Villo]

OMG! What is wrong with some of you?! I am extremely disappointed in some of the things I have read here in the last 24 hours, vehemently disappointed. A true homicidal maniac would not be on here leaving a trail behind if they planned on killing someone, normally this would be a heat of the moment kind of thing.

Nope. Homicidal sorts come in all different sizes, shapes and forms. You should allow a professional to decide who is and who isn't truly a "homicidal maniac" based on a formal psychological assessment, rather than trying to play at being an online armchair psychoanalyst.

You don't think if someone said something negative about my dead sister I wouldn't **** them up? I mean, I WOULD KILL someone if they talked about my sister, or her kids in a negative way.

Then you have as much or more of an anger management problem that the OP, which is pretty disturbing.

YOU should NEVER change for anyone. EVER. NEVER. EVER.

Well, actually that's really bad advice. If you have so much unmanaged rage that you've already physically assaulted someone with a box cutter and you're pleased by the prospect of seeing your smiling reflection in someone's blood who you gleefully tortured (even if just in your imagination), like the OP, you NEED change more than you need air to breath ... because you are officially a danger to all other people around you.

[JoeyFromFriends]

I like this bro, Villo. Tells shit just like it is.