Woman friend?

[Baconator]

I wanted to get some advice from the forum on a female friend of mine. Sorry for the length of this. I have been friends with her for 16 years. When we met, she was married and I was not. Now I am, and she isn't. Hasn't been for 10 years.

I've always liked her, but kept it cool. Never were that close, talked once in awhile, saw each other occasionally.

In recent years, things got much closer. For her birthday a few years back, I took her to dinner bec she wasn't with anyone. Since then, we have talked constantly. We talk every day, multiple times a day, always via text. She initiates 95 times out of 100. Maybe more. I almost never text her, but she always will to me and never complains that don't text her first. Texts in the am to see how I slept and to wish me a good day. Throughout the day to ask how may day is, and to tell me about hers. And at night to chat, and to say goodnight, sleep well, and that she loves me. When I travel for business, she wants me to text when I get to the airport, through security, to my gate, when on the plane, and leave. And of course when I land.

She was with a woman for 6 years many years ago, and the woman left her to get married. She then met a guy in grad school and got married. He left her after 5 years for another woman. She got back together with the same woman while her divorce was finalizing and while the woman was still married! Woman left her again and devastated her. Hasn't been with anyone since.

She knows my wife hates her. My wife told me recently that she has never felt comfortable around her,which I didn't know bec she didn't want to seem jealous. So I stopped seeing her so much. My friend didn't seem to mind that I had to sneak around to see her, which is why I had to stop. My best friend thinks she is after me and told me to get away from her. Even my therapist, who i am going to for another reason, says it is her opinion that she wants me but doesn't want to get involved unless I left my wife.

Here's the thing though. She absolutely denies she is after me. Has told me many many times how much she loves me, but not in that way. Even after I told her that I was developing feelings for her, she still denied feelings, but that I mean the world to her, that she loves me so much, etc. I made the decision that I needed to get distance since I don't want to cheat on my wife, but she has never pursued me. Will always kiss and hug me, and recently told me that she loves me three times when I was leaving from seeing her, and kept hugging and kissing me. She had a few glasses of wine,so maybe that was it. Will always sit right next to me on those occasional times I see her, and put her legs in my lap, or just lean up against me. We had done a lot of cuddling, rubbing her legs, back, etc., some kissing (no making out) after she divorced, and she always let me do it even though she said it made her a bit uncomfortable. But she always wanted to see me anyway,and would invite me over and the same thing would happen. I had to stop that bec I'm married now and it's too tempting.

My question is this... What does she want from me? I have no reason to believe she likes me, as she has told me multiple times she loves me, but not in that way. Even after she knew my feelings for her too. But what about all the texting and contact? And to touch base with her all the time? She'll even tell me that she's out with friends, but will check in with me later on. It's like I'm her husband. I don't get her though. Is this normal behavior at all? What exactly does she want from me?

[searock]

What she wants doesn't matter - what matters is that you are emotionally cheating on your wife. Do you still want to be married to her? If so, cut all contact with this female "friend" of yours. Tell her that you feel it's best you don't keep in contact anymore because it is disrespectful to your wife, and block her number.