I seem to be attracted to really messed up people.

[ThePhantom]

After my innitial post regarding my situation with my ex slash mother of my unborn kid I've bee seeing a psychiatrist and I've learned a few things about myself in therapy I seem to be drawn to really disturbed and troubled women. Another woman I've had an on an off again relationship she's just as messed up as I am except she's more of the stalker type and less of the violent type. Ironically the two women I've mentioned on this site are the most healthy relationships I've had the stalker was or is with genuinely because she makes me feel like I'm not alone.

I honestly don't think I know what a normal relationship is. Still I'm surprised I just realized this why am I seemingly drawn to the crazies? I mean do I subconsciously seek them out or is it a coincidence?

[namemyname]

You're seeing a shrink, so don't you think they are the best to diagnose you?

Your doc will get into family of origin stuff. That's why, and where, you learned to be attracted to toxicity.

[basilandthyme]

Phantom, has the psych delved into your childhood yet? Many people who have relationship difficulties find that it was caused by the role modelling of the parent's dysfunctional relationship. What was your parent's marriage like? Was either of your parents screwed up and with a history of bad choices?

And good for you for seeking help. It can only get better now.

[ThePhantom]

Phantom, has the psych delved into your childhood yet? Many people who have relationship difficulties find that it was caused by the role modelling of the parent's dysfunctional relationship. What was your parent's marriage like? Was either of your parents screwed up and with a history of bad choices?

And good for you for seeking help. It can only get better now.

I hope so he says I have self destructive tendencies that border on being suicidal. He believes I form relationships with and these are his words "damaged women" because they remind me of myself and thus I am able to relate with them and fill a emotional hole in my heart.

My parents weren't around very much I pretty much raised my self and my sister(who disowned me without a second thought) when they were around all they did was fight I could make a list a mile long of their problems.

[basilandthyme]

I hope so he says I have self destructive tendencies that border on being suicidal. He believes I form relationships with and these are his words "damaged women" because they remind me of myself and thus I am able to relate with them and fill a emotional hole in my heart.

My parents weren't around very much I pretty much raised my self and my sister(who disowned me without a second thought) when they were around all they did was fight I could make a list a mile long of their problems.

Ah, well there you go. Your psych has already given you the answers to the question you are asking.

What are the two of you doing about the baby?

[UnderTheMoon]

You really need to go for the women (when your done with therapy that is.......) that are more or less your opposite. If your a stalker.. lol... sorry.. ha... ok... if your a stalker kind of guy, then you need to meet someone who is secure in themselves, if you are a negative person, find a positive person... I feel like this is an "opposites attract" need. I won't say anymore though, just keep going to therapy and stay away from women for a while.

[ThePhantom]

Ah, well there you go. Your psych has already given you the answers to the question you are asking.

What are the two of you doing about the baby?

She's keeping it and even though I'm not showing it I'm afraid I'll end up damaging the kid like my parents did to me and my sister.

[TablesandChairs]

Secure, well-adjustment, successful people have standards and expectations - is it possible that's a problem for you? Also, they will have their own life and priorities and while they will make you a part of their life, you won't be the sole reason they exist. They won't have time to stalk you or be obsessive because they are healthy, functioning people who have goals to attain and things to do.

So, damaged people might seem 'safer' - and they're easily attainable because they may not have the highest standards and may not have much going for them in other aspects of their life. It's a false economy, though...because you can't form a healthy relationship when one (or both) partners is 'damaged'.