Trust Issues

[Arelationship]

I would really appreciate if you guys make the time to read my story.

So I've been dating this guy for over 6 months now. When I met this guy I was still in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. The first 2 months I was seeing this guy he found out that I was in a relationship and was seeing both of them. I am aware that this was very selfish of me to see both of them to see who was worth keeping. Now my relationship with my boyfriend was going dull and I was falling out of love from him. So this new guy I met was a validation to see if which one was more worth it. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and chose the other guy. Now I know what I should've done is break up with my boyfriend before meeting other people. Now seeing this guy for 6 months have been great. He takes me out on a date frequently, he introduced me to all his close friends, we spend our free time together, and last week I spent the whole week at his house. So pretty much were always together. Although we may sound perfect, were not that great. We constantly argue over little things, especially when I go out with my friends he constantly assumes that I'm doing something. I mean all this was my fault, I lost his trust ever since from the beginning. So to add up everything, will I ever get his trust back? Will he ever trust me again?

[basilandthyme]

Given that the start of your relationship was based on a lie, I doubt he will ever fully trust you.

Sorry I can't be more positive.

[Arelationship]

Given that the start of your relationship was based on a lie, I doubt he will ever fully trust you.

Sorry I can't be more positive.

Do you think it's a possibility that we could still work this relationship? I mean our relationship together is very serious. Him and I want to work things out. I've been trying to build my trust however I am aware that trust is still going to be an issue, like it always has.

[basilandthyme]

That's a question you'll have to ask him. And be prepared for an answer of "I don't know".

[UnderTheMoon]

I would say you are in for a run for your money trying to get him to trust you. Like Basil said, your relationship started on a lie. That is no way to ever begin a relationship. I understand to some point where you are coming from, but at the same time, I feel a little miffed. You should have realized the problems that you were going to get into when this all started. You two will need to have a long talk, express the fact that this situation is not the same and that you would never do that with him. SO good luck to you. I hope it works out, and maybe with a little hard work it will.

[michelle23]

You were cheating on both for 2 months. If he had any sense he would have dumped you when he found out the truth. No he will never trust you and yes it is your fault. I hope you have learned a valuable lesson from this and will end a relationship in future before ever getting with anyone else..

[juraiknight]

So wait, you were cheating and the new guy found out and you guys still managed to get into a "relationship"? Sounds kinda twisted to me...honestly anything could happen. It might all work out and he might not care at all how the relationship started (unlikely) or it could be still on the back of his mind. You have to ask yourself a few questions though; Are you capable of doing what you did with your last boyfriend once again to this new one if things start going "dull"? Are you in it for the long run, or are you after that hype of the chase? I've had a relationship that was built on a lie essentially, and it didn't work out. I spent an obscene amount of time and effort to save it thinking it could work out, but it didn't and I ended up just getting shit on. It sounds to me that this new guy was just a quick answer to your problem and after a while you'll start to see that maybe the relationship was paper thin to begin with. If I were you, which I'm not, I would stop looking at the "this is why we''re good" and start looking at the situation objectively.

[Arelationship]

I appreciate the honest and sincere advice you guys. The fact that this relationship started on a lie, I am still hopeful for where this relationship can go. I am slowly building my trust back, and he himself wants this to work out. So a slight possibility that in the near future he will trust me again. I mean it'll always be on the back of his mind, but he is willing to open up and regain trust.


I have learned my lesson since the beginning when I almost lost 2 guys. I was never proud of what I did, hurting the person(ex boyfriend) I once cared about. Now that I'm in a new relationship, I have no slight intentions of doing the same mistake all over again. I truly care and deeply love this person and hurting him again would be the dumbest thing I'll ever do. We may have some issues about trust, on the other hand our relationship is going very strong.

[michelle23]

well you need to tell him that. Tell him you were selfish, immature and you know you hurt two people and you never plan to make that mistake again. Ask him to trust you that you are a better person now and you need him to forgive you and trust you 100% so you can move forward together as a team..

If he cannot do that then your relationship will never work..

[TablesandChairs]

People can learn from their mistakes, you did it once...that's bad, but it's not exactly a habit. Explain things to him; that your relationship with your ex had died and you were trying to figure things out...and yes, you should have done that the proper way but you didn't and there's nothing you can do about it now. If he wants to stay with you, then he has to get past it.