Struggling to stay excited during foreplay

[pacachomp]

If one more person asks if I might be gay....

Anyway I was just looking through this forum and the boyfriend in this thread: ( http://www.loveforum.net/threads/81926-How-do-I-make-him-less-effeminate-in-bed ) is me down to a T. Not sure if that helps.

[Wakeup]

So in otherwords.. it is you and you're not turning her on enough. I think that was mentioned back on page one which you dismissed.

Try seducing her and making her want to reciprocate. When you are pleasing a woman, when you bring out the passion in her then she, (most times) if she's not inherently a selfish lover, will get turned on by pleasing you they way you please her. So: You either train her to be the passionate lover you want her to be (which you will do if you actually love her and want her in your life) or you leave her right now and try and find someone more sexually compatible where you don't need to teach.

You really do sound quite boring in bed. I don't know if this is the norm or with this girl, it's the exception to the rule.

Stop sleeping int he same bed with chicks you haven't had full blown sex with yet. It confuses the matter as you've admitted by saying that you're not sure if you've friendzoned one another or not. When you've already had sex, then sleep with her in the same bed. Doing so before you've had sex makes you her cuddle bitch ~ as you've discovered.

You can make out and pet in her bed.. don't sleep with her in it though ~ go home to your own bed for goodness sakes.

[searock]

OP, the problem is that you aren't sexually attracted to her. You said it yourself, you don't feel that aroused when you look at her, you just feel warm and cuddly or something. There's nothing you can do, you can't force sexual attraction.

[michelle23]

If one more person asks if I might be gay....

Anyway I was just looking through this forum and the boyfriend in this thread: ( http://www.loveforum.net/threads/81926-How-do-I-make-him-less-effeminate-in-bed ) is me down to a T. Not sure if that helps.

That girl in that thread is just one person. Not all women want it the way she does. My bf used to be quite passive in bed and I asked him one day is there a reason why he waits for me to initiate it and he said he doesn't want me to think that is all he wants. I told him I love him and trust him-as far as im concerned my body is his and I want him to show more desire and passion for me-not to hold back and he did. Now he knows I am okay with him initiating-he does so a lot more.

I think you just need to be a little more confident and assertive. There is nothing wrong with being a gentlemen. I fully believe in taking things slow. However, when you have been seeing each other awhile and you are both confident that you are heading in relationship territory-than it is perfectly fine to expect sexual contact. Its the next level and you shouldn't be afraid to initiate it.

Next time you are about to touch her-why not move her hand to where you want it and give a subtle hint that you want the same treatment.

[michelle23]

OP, the problem is that you aren't sexually attracted to her. You said it yourself, you don't feel that aroused when you look at her, you just feel warm and cuddly or something. There's nothing you can do, you can't force sexual attraction.

I think it goes deeper than that. Young men his age do not find it difficult to get it up even if the girl aint that attractive. I think it could be a case of performance anxiety where he is worried and thinking too much. I think he is just confused which is why he said the whole cute face thing. It doesn't make sense. A girl is either good looking or shes not-there is no such thing as a sexy face compared to a beautiful one-they are both the same... expressions are what make it sexy ie. raising eyebrows, winking etc.

OP you may just have to put all your doubts, worries, fears etc aside and be more aggressive next time. Take the lead, be in control and make it clear what you want. Maybe you are just bored of constantly pleasing her. Try a 69r or try touching at the same time