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Thread: Pleasuring yourself, being found out.

  1. #16
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    ... lmao. ...
    This isn't the Amazon.com of addictions... "If you're addicted to porn, you might also like -- Sex addictions for people who like Vegetables."
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  2. #17
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    i think my point is valid. i said it can and does lead to sexually addicted behaviour. it can get more and more out of control. an alcoholic could start off with two pints a day for 5years, then under stress increase it to 3 than 4 etc until it turns into 2litre bottles of cheap vodka a day.

    sex addiction is not the same as alcoholism or drug addiction. it is placed into an entirely different category just like gambling. eventually porn is not enough, they need live chat, then cybersex, then arranging sex in a hotel room, strip clubs, prostitutes. it gets more and moreout of control

    if people cannot see my point here then i give up..

    btw i am NOT calling OP an addict at all. i am just giving reasons why i personally dont agree with porn
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    i think my point is valid. i said it can and does lead to sexually addicted behaviour. it can get more and more out of control. an alcoholic could start off with two pints a day for 5years, then under stress increase it to 3 than 4 etc until it turns into 2litre bottles of cheap vodka a day.

    sex addiction is not the same as alcoholism or drug addiction. it is placed into an entirely different category just like gambling. eventually porn is not enough, they need live chat, then cybersex, then arranging sex in a hotel room, strip clubs, prostitutes. it gets more and moreout of control

    if people cannot see my point here then i give up..

    btw i am NOT calling OP an addict at all. i am just giving reasons why i personally dont agree with porn
    Actually that's not what you said, you said one addiction can lead to another, not that an addiction can worsen over time... in the case of your alcoholic, your example is of his disease taking hold and getting more serious... but then you're taking porn as a possible addiction and rather than compare like with like (i.e. frequency) you're instead claiming it will lead to all sorts of other types of less than ideal sex-related behaviors as if that were a fact... apples and oranges.
    Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    i think my point is valid. i said it can and does lead to sexually addicted behaviour. it can get more and more out of control. an alcoholic could start off with two pints a day for 5years, then under stress increase it to 3 than 4 etc until it turns into 2litre bottles of cheap vodka a day.

    sex addiction is not the same as alcoholism or drug addiction. it is placed into an entirely different category just like gambling. eventually porn is not enough, they need live chat, then cybersex, then arranging sex in a hotel room, strip clubs, prostitutes. it gets more and moreout of control

    if people cannot see my point here then i give up..

    btw i am NOT calling OP an addict at all. i am just giving reasons why i personally dont agree with porn
    I understand what you're saying, but thats like saying... if Alcohol isn't washing their problems away, the need to try something stronger, and stronger still, and so on. Its okay to not like porn, but in my opinion, looking down on it as the OPs wife does, will just make him want to hide it due to shame, or just to stop the incessant nagging.


    If you're going to watch porn, just be straight about it. Michelle, I'm not saying its definite, but what if there was a chance your boyfriend watches porn while you're away? But he won't tell you because of the way you'd react to it? Would you rather know and be a part of it, or have him keep it a secret?


    I think anyone who pushed to have an affair, its not due to porn. Everyone makes their own choices... I can't recall the last time an insanity plea was used in a sexual encounter, but I assure you the verdict was still "Its your fault".

  5. #20
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    Most men at some point in their lives, that have internet access, have seen or have watched or will watch porn at some point. Many women will do it too.
    I'm doing it right now, as we speak.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by steviejobs View Post
    Not sure if I'm posting in the correct section, sorry if not.

    I've been with my wife for 15 years now, but very recently she's found out that I've been pleasuring myself to porn every once in a while. Obviously my wife is not at all happy and says she's absolutely disgusted.

    She's asked me to stop doing it completely and to definitely stop watching porn. Is this a reasonable request?

    From what she's been saying it sounds like she's taken it really personal, she thinks that she's not good enough, or that I get more pleasure doing it myself than I do when we do things together. I've tried explaining that it's completely different but it doesn't really seem to make much difference.

    She won't leave me alone in the house anymore through fear of me doing it and she's making regular reference to it in conversations, like when I go to the loo she'll remind me not to pleasure myself. I find myself rushing when I take a shower and going to the loo so she doesn't think I'm spending too long in the bathroom.
    That's really sad because mastubation, fantasizing and using tools such as porn or sex toys is totally natural thing to do, in fact it's just a healthy part of your sexlife. Women have a total misconception of why men (and women too) indulge in "alone time" and watching porn. Porn doesn't turn you into an addict, your personality has the addition already. I think you both could use some couples counseling because I don't think the porn is the whole issue here but a symptom of other things going on in your relationship that YOU may not be aware of.

  7. #22
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    if my bf did watch porn i wouldnt react badly to it. we have never had that discussion. i just no he has no interest in it as he suspects his brother is addicted to it and he has told me a few times that hes never been interested in it. at his house a few times his uncle was showing him porn on the computer and the were both laughing and slagging the people on screen. it didnt bother me. we have watched loads of sex ed programes together and i find them interesting. he doesnt particularly like watching it.

    he doesnt watch it in secret. he wouldnt even have the time. he goes to sleep before me every night and never locks himself in a quite room etc and we dont even have internet access at home.
    if i did find out he watched it-id never shame him the way OP's wife has done. i would just ask why he kept it from me

    he knows i am open to watching together if he wants to. i have no prob with that occasionally and he said he has no interest in it bjt if i wana watch it we can
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  8. #23
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    Find it outside. There are plenty of women that will do it for you for a fee. Your wife won't be upset that you viewing porn inside the home and you'll be happier that a female's hand is touching you and not a man's (even if it is your own).

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