Need some outside opinions.

[Knoxane]

i am wondering if it worth getting back with my ex or if i am just blinded by love.

I dated my ex for a year, we loved each other very much. We had a ton of fun together and he showed me what it is like when someone really cares and loves someone. Unfortunately we broke up due to lack of communication. My ex had trouble trusting me because of his insecurities from the past. He would come to me to talk about these things but instead of talking things out it just ended up being me vs. him and no one would back down because we were both right about everything. Lets just say I ended up telling everyone about my relationship problems and made him out to be a bad guy. I think we also got too consumed in one anothers lives to the point where we spent every minute together and had no time to ourselves. In the end I broke up with him. He begged me to stay with him but I couldnt take the fighting, I loved him very much but I just came to eventually accept the fact that maybe we werent right for each other.

After six months of not talking at all I was stilling thinking about him all the time. I reflected on our relationship a lot and realized that he wasnt the only one who was wrong at times. I decided to text him and we have been talking and taking things slow. We have talked about our past and what happened and we both agree it was our faults equally as to why the relationship failed. We both are willing to work through things now with more communication and understanding. Of course we have more things to talk about in due time.

But I can help to be consumed by this idea that everyone thinks dating someone a second time is a big mistake, and since all my friends think my ex is a jerk since I told them only about all our fights and nothing else they think I just have to learn for myself that what im doing (which is talking to him) is stupid and wont lead anywhere but another break up.

I also want to be hopeful though that we will work past our issues with effort and care. From speaking to my ex it seems as though we are on the same page where our relationship failed and what we have to work on. But I am at a loss...

Is there any hope in this relationship or is it set up for failure?

[michelle23]

if uou have both learned from past mistakes and know now how to prevent this in the future and find a better way to resolve conflict-then i dont see the harm in trying again. just be mindful of where you went wrong last time and if you see any red flags that all that crap will start again then get out quick with no more chances.

the biggest issue is lack of trust. has he gotten over that and his insecurity? being accused of something you havnt done repeatedly is emotionally draining and over time can shatter your self-esteem so dont put up with that. also are you 100% sure you can trust him? people who have this crazy paranoia can sometimes indicate that they are the one cheating.

many couples get back together. for some it works, for others it doesnt. you need to take back the stuff you said to your friends. you cant expect them to like a guy who you have done nothing but b**ch about. tell them you would appreciate their support and no "i told you so" if it doesnt work out. tell them you both messed up but he wasnt as bad as you made him out to be-you were just venting and you want them to give him a chance.

hopefully you are both more mature now and can try to build a healthy foundation. if you are starting again-leave the past in the psst. no fighting over something he said a year ago. its a fresh start.

[shortchica]

Proceed with caution. If you both have genuinely learned from your mistakes, give it another go. Get out if old habits start recurring, and tell your friends you need their support. Try to take a step back and recognize that there's a chance it won't work out, and keep yourself a little detached until you can really see if there is a change or not.